The Little Black Book

It's 6:00 am the phone alarm rings, I snooze for 6:10. Coffee and dressed by 6:25 and out the door by 6:35. Gotta punch in by 6:45, work till 11, leave, go back and work till 3. Time to head home. I get back to my house, my wife, the dog, my little black book. Pay day is thursday and I open my book to a fresh page. Time to do my bills, I simply have to budget. I have to get it out of the way. I have to get it out on paper. Everything paid, no need to bore with the specifics, $150 left over this week. My little black book keeps me in check. I turn to a fresh page. I write down all my debts, and I write down what I need to pay them. "How am I going to do this?", I ask myself. I don't know, I just know I will. In life, while you're here living it, anything can happen. I turn the page once more and at the top I jot, "To Do List". Dishes, laundry, pay bills, garbage, the usual. I check a few off and save a few for tomorrow. One more page for the day. This one titled, "Wish List". At the very top, Porsche 911 carerra 4s cabriolet. That's a long shot, but a guys gotta dream. Next on the list, an exquisit gun collection. Wow, I'm a simple guy, but I'll probably make note of this again tomorrow. If it gets out on paper, then its not just in our heads, and if its not just in our heads, its one step closer to reality. With my business delt with I close my book and put it back in the safe. Tomorrow on the way home from work I'll buy another $20 ticket at the gas station by my house. My lucky 1995 quarter has 4 wins and 2 losses under its belt, so I'm feeling pretty good.

I got the ticket and lost, so I got two more. Two more losses. I can't keep wasting money like this. I have to make more money, I have to invest, I have to diversify. I punch my code into the safe and swing the door open, grab my book, and lock it back up. I open the book, redo my bills, less money than before. Instead of winning more I lost more. When will I stop this? I have to make things better, I have to stop wishing on some fantasy. Some lottery ticket win, some giveaway, some miracle. I open the book to its last two pages. How did I not know I was on my last pages? I hadn't planned for this. What will I write in tomorrow to get it out on paper? I write down the name of a stock I found that hit the market at $145, was once $600+, but is now worth under $2.00. I write down everything there is to know about this stock. I buy 40, the last of my money for the week. What do I have to lose? At least I won't rip it up and throw it in the trash. All I know, sooner or later, something has got to give. I've gotten just a little bit too much over my head. I used up my last dollars, and my last pages. Whatever tomorrow brings, it may not end up on paper.

The 6:00 am phone alarm rings, but gets snoozed till 6:10 like always. Coffe and dressed by 6:25. I check my phone at 6:30, when I should be out the door in five. I punch in my Robinhood password, and I can't believe my eyes. The stock I bought got shorted and I bought at exactly the right time. That under $2.00 price soared to $500.00. I can sell at $20,000. The most money I've ever had at one time. What a thrill! What a relief! After the year its been, I can finally breath. I call off sick, go upstairs to my safe, and take out my book. This book has been with me for so long now, keeping me in check. So many pages that helped me stay on track. Life without a notebook, is a life disorganized. A life that no one will ever open up and read about. Maybe that is the best reason for not having one. Either way, it's time to burn this notebook for goodluck and start a new one. I go to the backyard and start a fire. The pine wood burns fast and hot. I toss in the book and burn it down to embers and ashes before my eyes. "Why?" you may ask, and the answer is simple. Every page had been fulfilled, it was ready to transcend beyond ink, paper, and my words. I can only keep one notebook for the present, and none from the past, because I have to make room for $20,000 cash.