Hello, I am the Guilty one. Made in 2021.
I came to life three months after a sudden death. However, I’ve existed for centuries. The reason why my body formed was due to a trauma response. The only way she knew how to cope was through blame and denial. Maybe it would make more sense if someone was responsible, it wouldn’t be the first time one of us came to life. To better understand what happened to Lo, I can describe her creations in this little black book. I am her last one.
Hesitation, created in 2015.
He was a drunk man in barrel. After four years of effort, he slipped in her head looking for a missing bottle of wine. Stumbling and tripping over the discarded and dry bottles, he found a large barrel 10 feet high and a cork screwed tight shut in the center. Forgetting the bottle he originally came for, the man ran as fast as he could until the cork was only inches away from his hand. Happily drinking the wine, he knew it was going to last him many years. Burying himself deep inside so he could wail and sing all night and day. The echoes are a sweet symphony that leave Lo speechless.
Luck, created in 2016.
Known as Osar, this creation is a treasure to hold. He came to Lo in dreams and lead a life of hope. She painted his skin the color of currant, rubbed his eyes mauve, and squeezed his hair to white pebbles. Osar did not speak often but he held a great responsibility by maintaining a strong presence. A blamed soul for the privilege she still holds.
Death, created in 2018.
They appeared at 6:00 in the morning through a dirty kitchen window. The time of death was an hour ago but she needed to see the big finale. Death stood in the garage with a loose grip on her mother’s body. They stalked Lo silently while the lights went on, breakfast was made and the curtains were drawn up. Finally stepping away from the window, Death began their journey while dragging the inflated cold body away by the shirt. Lo was terrified, unsure of this unexplainable fear that stopped her from eating. Placing the bowl down on the table, shifting towards the window, Lo stared out into the darkness until she saw the figure. A skinny boy, about 18 years old, stared back at her and smiled with sharped teeth and hard eyes. She closed the curtain and decided it was time to go to the café.
Greed, created in 2020.
Mother left money. It’s funny when you live life without money, it seems impossible to spend. Then it gets easier and easier as time goes by and you don’t know what happened to it. Lo knows exactly what happened. Money doesn’t go well with depressive and anxiety filled thoughts. Doing everything you can to bring back someone who isn’t there anymore. It’s greed with desire and the only reason why no one noticed was because of how innocent her pain was. There was no need to stop her from buying childhood toys or soft pillows to hug at night. Lo had a good reason. A reason that fueled her creations. The screams in her head got louder, Osar lost his voice and the skinny man finally had a good reason to come back. Stuck in a warped reality and an unbelievable circumstance, Lo took a step too far off the garage, blinded by her inability to control what was going on around her even at her best. She couldn’t bring her back.
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