The Human Touch

From the moment we are born, and placed on our mothers (or fathers) bare chest, we long for human touch. That bond, that closeness, that feeling of being loved. It is a feeling like no other. It has been proven that a simple hug produces endorphins that just plain makes us feel good. Skin to skin contact with another human seems to be necessary (at least for me it is).

Of course we all know the difference between “good” touch and “bad” touch. This story is not about the latter. That can be saved for another story. This is the positive, good vibe, loving touch. The one that just makes you happy.

I’ve often wondered why some people don’t like to be touched as much as others. It might be because touch to them is painful or brings back memories which they wish to forget. Those people aside, I think about the people who were not abused. Why do some people seem to need contact more than others? From a simple hug or hand shake to the physical touch of intimacy.

They say, (and I don’t know who “they” are but…) that a child who is not held or hugged or shown that type of affection becomes an adult who cannot show affection to others. I believe it’s just the opposite. I was that child growing up and now it is a longing for me, a necessity. Then again, maybe it’s just an individual thing. The old saying, “you can’t miss what you’ve never had” I believe, in my opinion, doesn’t always apply.

Yet some people, raised in good surroundings, with good people around them, those shown love and affection, just don’t need it as much as others. I have found that mostly men aren’t on the same level as women when it comes to contact. Oh sure, they have their bro hugs and fist bumps and handshakes and occasional full body hugs but not like women. Most of us enjoy a good long hug, even from someone we may have just met.

So what is the difference between us? Maybe it will forever just be one of those unanswered questions. I know someone that requires very little touch to be satisfied. A short hug, a back rub or two, a few minutes of skin to skin contact, seems to be enough to satisfy him. So I ask myself, is touch a necessity or optional? I guess it is an individual decision depending on the situation. BUT not all men are the same as not all women are.

I have met a few people that when I would go in for a hug were like “EWWW NO” and it baffles me sometimes. Then there are the people who I met for the very first time who would ask “Can I hug you?” Those people, by the way, usually give the best hugs. Cheek to cheek, there it is, human contact, connection! I think I may have uncovered the secret… Connection.

It’s not so much the actual physicality of the contact, as it is the connection it forms. Feeling close to someone, being within their sacred 3 foot parameter of personal space, that warm fuzzy feeling of human kindness. People in general want to feel loved, wanted, needed and desired. Physical contact solidifies those desires. It doesn’t just affect the heart, on a much deeper level, it satisfies the soul.

I am a hugger. Every chance I get I hug (I've been told too much at times). I don’t believe you can ever hug TOO much. I grew up with an extreme lack of affection and maybe that’s why I need it so much as an adult. For me, it’s a conscious decision to hug and hold hands and touch. Not only does it satisfy my needs but also those on the receiving end. Sometimes, that simple act can help someone through a hard day or makes them feel loved. We could all use a little more kindness. A little more human contact. With all the terrible things happening in our world these days, the fighting, the famine, the dying, people are turning their backs to each other. If we could all just take a moment to embrace each other, be kind, connect to each other, wouldn’t that be wonderful!

So my final words will say: never be afraid to have contact. Create a connection. Break down your walls just a little and give in to the good vibes of human connection. The feeling is amazing and you just might make someone feel good about themselves again. Change a life. You may just save a life.

Much Love G