Soul in distress

Sometimes, every now and then, you just need to step away. Leave everything behind for a while and disconnect. Life is tough. Life is confusing and often doesn’t make sense. Those are the times you need to re-evaluate choices made and paths you’ve taken. It’s not because you’re mad, or sad, it’s because something inside just feels “off.”

My soul is restless. It’s not a restlessness that can be described in so many words. It’s more a feeling. A shift in your core. Something that makes you wonder, “am I doing the right things?” It’s difficult to explain these times. Those around you can’t understand what they consider to be moody or emotional. But your feelings are just that…YOUR feelings.

There once was a time when everything just fell into place.The world around you was all aligned and you felt at peace. Then there were choices to be made. People that you thought would always be there, suddenly are no longer a part of your life's equation. Things change. People change. Such is life.

When your soul is in distress, it’s time to decompress (now that is kind of poetic), step back and take a look at your life as a whole. Try not to be so critical of yourself. Realize that you’re human and we make mistakes and sometimes bad choices. Own those decisions. Don’t condemn your soul so quickly. Understand there is always a bottom line, a reason for everything.

Whenever I am asked “what do you want?” I always hesitate and have to search for the answer. Maybe because I really don’t know or maybe I just say what everyone else says. Peace and happiness. It’s the standard answer isn’t it? But my soul has another answer. One that my lips don’t speak.

Once upon a time there was a little girl who believed in fairy-tales, wished upon many a star, had hopes and dreams, and prayed for help from above. Then she grew up and realized that she was not Cinderella, wishes were no more than things whispered into the universe, hoping was just disappointment, dreams are just a fantasy world and GOD may listen…but never responds.

The time we take to examine our lives is like a double edged sword. No matter how you choose to do it, you will get cut, you will bleed and then you will heal. Taking time for yourself is sometimes so necessary. Clearing your mind, coming to accept that which is your life as you know it. Knowing that the time taken is needed to continue the journey laid out for you.

The 2 day hiatus’s I take are two fold. 1. having quiet time and 2. reflection. The world is just too noisy for me. Locking myself away is not avoidance, it’s not irresponsible, it’s not selfish. It’s necessary. I’m not “running away” from anyone or anything. In today's busy world, in my very busy life, finding time to just “be” is almost impossible at times. So I disconnect, walk away for a time, contemplate my life and hopefully emerge better from it.

Protect your soul. At all costs. It is your very being, your center. The core that makes you, you. When the soul becomes distressed it can damage all of you. Your mindset shifts, you feel off, you overthink, make bad decisions, maybe say things you really don’t mean. Your health is affected, relationships become strained, your personality suffers. Everything suffers. One thing goes wrong and it’s like a chain reaction. Everything feels like a tragedy. Stop the suffering.

Do what you need to do. For me, a few days away from it all does me good. Even when my soul is settled I still take time away for ME. Time to gather thoughts, relax and just “be.” Life is tough and sometimes very challenging to navigate through but it can be made a little easier if you can just walk away for a bit. Come back to your center, your core. Be kind to yourself and don’t judge too harshly. You will find yourself in a better place and hopefully know yourself better for it. Fall in love with yourself again. Heal that which needs healing. Most of all, try to remember, life is too short to be anything but happy.

With much love, G