The Hazel Gaze

It all started with a glance.

She sat opposite me and with each bump on the train carriage, she never once flinched. Her eyes remained in twined with mine.

I couldn't help but to keep myself occupied, opening & closing my insignificant black book. Drawing attention away from being seen. Yet I just couldn't resist each urge to look up to catch that hazel gaze. She looked at me, not through me like the hundreds of faces that passed me by each day.

I was never one to stand out, I had mediocre clothes, dull hair, expressionless & unconditionally wimp at the best of times. If I was anymore transparent I would blend in with the billboard behind me, even more ironic is the fact it's an advert for travel to exotic destinations. Isn't that what all struggling writers resemble a bitter sweet melecholy?

Besides who had the money or the time. My destination was simple; from a lifeless somber home to a lifeless somber office and back again. My job was uninspired, a small local newspaper that was fulfilled by 4 people writing editorials on local news and events. It was enough to cover the bills. I would often find the influence for my stories on the train rides. Catching glimpses of people's lives, & piecing together their realms with my own imagination.

I suddenly feel a shift, the carriage darkens as we enter a tunnel & it butts a large bump which forces a few people and belongings to the floor. In the light, my insignificant black book is gone; no where to be found but worse the hazel gaze has broken aswell. My destination has arrived & I seize a smile from the hazel gaze as I depart to the platform and proceed with my day. Cutting my losses my concepts for my next editorial are now retired.

A few days go by and I receive a unexpected knock at my door. A single police officer greeting me by my full name. The interaction was strained with the question being asked "How did you know Bridget?". The perplexed look on my face must have been evident as the police officer then proceeded to hand me a photo. It was the hazel gaze. Stunned I explained we had a brief interaction on the train and by interaction I meant overplayed intermittently in my head. He then hands me my insignificant black book. It had found its way back to me, convenient that I happen to write my address in every book of mine since my schooling days. Before preparing me for the disclosure that it was found on the hazel gaze as she had taken her own life; laying motionless at the bottom of a bridge.

I had so many questions but little to no words were able to be produced. I had a face and a name yet no answers. Was that her destination all along? To be free from the same routine? Free from complacency? Free from herself?

I could barely bring myself to look at my insignificant black book, it weighted heavy in my drawer for weeks. Until one train ride lead me to sit in the same seat to where I was once sitting across from the hazel gaze just a month prior. I sat looking at the empty seat across from me still seeing her shilloette and experiencing her familiarity. Time had lapsed and I found myself in front of my drawer. I open it, my insignificant black book looks different and it spills from my hands to the floor. As I retrieve it, there's a page with unfamiliar handwriting "Bitter Sweet - we ache, we ignite, we soar" followed by a website link and password.

I caved into my curiosity and opened my laptop entering the details swiftly. Confounded by what lies in front of me, 2 bit-coins to all of which are now in my custody. The sense of disbelief overwhelms me and I sit back in my chair contemplating their value $20000! I take another sip of my coffee that was resting against my insignificant black book, when I sight one last irony handwritten by the hazel gaze herself - "Dont you feel indifferent existing in other people's worlds".

I never knew her story, I never knew her intentions all I knew was her gaze. She had remade my life from one interaction. I spent the following months perfecting her realm, Bridget would now be my concluding editorial before my imminent retirement in that exotic destination I once coincided with in its advert.

My black book was no longer insignificant & the world now existed in her hazel gaze.