The Great Contrast Between Being in Love vs Loving Someone

You caught yourself smiling with just the thought of her. No day would pass without you missing her. No matter what, you can’t seem to get her off your mind.

Are you in love? Or do you simply love her?

The psychology behind love is tricky. Oftentimes, people interchangeably misuse the concepts of being in love and loving someone when the two are entirely different.

It helps you decide whether you would fully commit yourself to the other person, stay in the relationship, and develop a deeper form of love together. Regardless of the decision you make, knowing where your heart stands helps a lot.

Love: The Psychology Behind It

Love, at first sight, is a fleeting and overwhelming sensation that stays in your memory forever because it’s always fascinating to look back when you first froze on your spot upon seeing her.

According to social psychologist Theresa DiDonato, Ph.D., “the spark that defines a love-at-first-sight experience is better described as a strong attraction accompanied by an openness to a future relationship.”

For some people, seeing a potential partner for the first time is life-changing because it leads them to the kind of love they’ve been longing to have for a long time.

This kind of romantic love that stems from an attraction is also the pinnacle of meaningful life experiences. When you meet someone special to you, it will make you think of the future, as you begin to strive more and be a better version of yourself.

While there’s no easy way to put how you develop a strong attraction for someone you saw for the first time, one thing is clear: you can measure love in more ways than one.

When You’re In Love vs When You Love Someone

You can easily tell if you have feelings for someone. But telling whether your chemistry is real is a different thing. Other than your feelings and compatibility, it is also one of the things you need to consider in a relationship.

If you feel strong romantic feelings towards her, here’s how you’ll know if you’re in love with her or you love her:

Being in love: When you’re in love with her, you’re bound to have a change of heart because this kind of feeling does not last long. Your admiration towards her may fade as her attractiveness may seem to wear away.

As you continue to face the realities of long-term love, your fantasies about her will be pushed aside. All of a sudden, it isn’t her voice that you want to hear nor her face you want to see. By then, you realize that there are more important things to deal with aside from her and your relationship.

Loving someone: By contrast to being in love, loving someone is more stable and permanent. Often, it lasts long. Because you love her, she holds a place in your heart that can’t be easily replaced by someone else. Even if you go through painful struggles and issues, you still care for her in some way.

Loving someone means accepting everything about them. When you’ve come to embrace your real selves, you’re less likely to disappoint each other. Likewise, growing up as separate individuals while together makes a difference in your love and relationship alike.

Being in love: Do you feel the intense excitement of spending time with her? If you do, you’re only in love with her. Your emotions are fueled by your anticipation of the happy memories you’re going to make with her.

When you’re apart, you know you’re in love because you can’t wait to get to see her again.

Loving someone: Having a mature kind of love means you love her deeply. Your feelings are firm and characterized by profound attachment rather than intense infatuation.

When you get past the stage of fantasies, you focus on the more sustainable and genuine kind of love in your relationship.

Being in love: When you’re in love with her, your feelings can easily change, especially when met with challenges. Your love is not as strong as it should be, and going through relationship problems can break you apart.

This happens because being in love encourages you to be at your best behavior while expecting her to do the same. As an effect, you’re both easily shaken and get discouraged amidst your disappointments.

Loving someone: When you love someone, even life’s hardest obstacle won’t be enough to tear you apart. This is because the bond you’ve created with each other is so secure that problems bring you closer.

True love is courageous. It makes you vulnerable in front of the person you love and encourages you to face adversaries together, no matter the outcome. As long as you have each other, you won’t fear anything at all.

Being in love: You know you’re in love with her when you put on a facade to avoid disappointing her. You agree to almost everything she says because you take her opinions as your own, and you’re overly conscious of your words and actions.

You should know that not being able to express yourself in front of someone is one of the major indicators of being in love.

Loving someone: If you find it easy to open up and be honest with someone, that’s because you love them. You don’t hesitate to show the real you, and you’re not unnecessarily conscious when around them.

Genuine love gives you a sense of security to the extent that you don’t feel the need to hide your feelings to protect the relationship.

Being in Love Leads to a Lasting Kind of Love

It all began when you fell in love with her.

From then on, she became a part of every plan you make. She became significant in a lot of aspects of your life. She’s your inspiration, and her happiness is everything to you.

As your determination to commit grows stronger, you become more important to each other. When this happens, you’re bound to have a fulfilling kind of love.

True, being in love might be superficial, temporary, and unreal, but it surely opens the door to deeper connections and more stable love.