The Goodbye !

My best friend (or so I thought) seemed to have a very sweet personality, but she turned out to be a manipulating user who took advantage of a lot of people. I never realized it until I actually let her live in my house. I knew her for almost 20 years and I always thought we had a close friendship. I loved her as a friend and I thought she felt the same way. When she was going through a nasty divorce she was determined to keep the house, but she realized she wouldn’t be able to afford it and her ex had no intention to let her have it. We live in New Jersey so there is no law for splitting marital property half & half when spouses divorce like they do in other states. She was disabled since she was visually impaired and was receiving Social Security Disability. She also had a part time job as a cook at a church daycare, but she still didn’t make much money and it would’ve been very difficult for her to afford to rent an apartment alone. I felt bad for her so, since my two kids were grown and one of them had just moved out I offered her to stay in my son’s old bedroom. I was only planning to let her stay long enough to help her get back on her feet. She insisted on paying for it and asked how much I wanted for it so I gave her a very low price, just enough to help pay for the utilities, but I assumed she would help out with some of the chores.

She never offered to lift a finger. I didn’t want to ask her right out to do things, but I did give her hints, only she never seemed to take it even though I’m sure she knew what I meant. I hate cooking and she’s very good at it, but she never cooked for us. She would cook for herself though. When I cooked or ordered out I always offered her to eat and she had no problem taking it, but she wouldn’t reciprocate.

I helped her so many times in so many ways over the years, but she never offered to help me with anything. Once, when she still lived in her house, she had a huge kitchen but her walls were disgusting. She asked if I could help her paint it so I did. Her then husband did nothing to help. She and I spent two whole days painting it and I never asked for a dime. When her mother died, I went to her funeral and sat by her side the entire time, yet when my own mother died she didn’t even come to hers. I’ve had epilepsy since I was a kid and suffer with frequent complex partial seizures (they just happen in my head, they’re not the grand mal ones where people fall and shake uncontrollably). I had so many that I finally had to have brain surgery. She knew I was going to get it done. I was in the hospital for three weeks. Not once did she ever visit me or even bothered to call me to see how I was doing.

What really broke the camel’s back was when I finally did ask her right out why she didn’t want to offer to help me, she told me that she didn’t have to. She said since this was my house I was a landlord and she was a tenant. That really hurt me. I thought I was a “friend” helping a “friend,” not a landlord renting to a tenant. She had been in my house for a year and a half by then. Then one day, after letting that anger boil inside me for so long, I ended up exploding over some inane, stupid reason. I told her it was time to go and I gave six months to start saving and look for a place for herself. After that she didn’t talk to me again unless it was absolutely necessary. About a week before it was time to go I asked her if she had found a place yet and she said no. Too bad. I haven’t heard from her since she left. She even blocked me from her cellphone. I know because I kept getting her mail and it was piling up. I finally got in touch with her and told her to pick it up. Eventually she got someone to get it for her.

So many other friends and relatives couldn’t believe I let her stay in my home for two whole years. I couldn’t, either. I guess I let her take advantage of me because I cared about her so much and she knew it.

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