The Girl Who Stole the Moon

Ashlee Marie wasn't looking for love. Nor was she planning on falling in love. By the time she was twenty-one she had decided that love was not in the cards for her. She may have been four years older now but if love hadn’t found her yet, it most certainly wouldn’t any time soon. Love was not high on her priorities list. In fact she had practically benched love. “Ashlee Marie!” Her mother would say with her highly upper English accent, “Darling you're only twenty-five! You have a lifetime ahead of you to find love.” To which Ashlee would cry out in frustration, “Mother if love hasn't found me yet it most certainly will not change its mind on me now!”

You see, everyone in her inner friendship circle were practically married, and if not they were either engaged, in a relationship or regulars on the dating scene. Tinder in her mind was a nightmare she most certainly did not wish to enter into. In fact she couldn't imagine anything shoddier than having someone (most likely a bald fifty year old disguised as a cute twenty-something) swiping left on her.

No, Ashlee Marie was an old soul trapped in a twenty-five year old body, living in London, forging a career in publishing. Screw love she had all that she needed right in front of her. Or so she thought.

It all changed in the summer of that year. June arrived on her front door with that fresh summer fragrance in the air. Yes, you could instinctively tell that change was in the wind when the seasons transferred over to the next. You could almost taste it on your tongue. She had been in a rush that gorgeous evening almost never making it to Darcy’s house. Darcy was, well in Darcy’s own opinion, Ashlee’s BFFL. She often spoke in way too many abbreviated terms than Ashlee cared to understand.

Hastily, she moved out of the door in her little Givenchy LBD that she had bought second hand from a vintage store downtown. She definitely looked captivating in the twilight sky as her dark brown hair tousled down in an effortless fashion behind her. Forever blind to the stares of strangers she never gave herself too much credit when it came to her beauty. As her Uber pulled out from her quiet, suburban street she looked up to the sky. Dusk had settled earlier than usual that evening. She pondered on the change as her car drove her towards Darcy’s apartment.

Looking up towards the sky she searched and found him there nestled behind the clouds. Oh, there you are Mr Man on the Moon. Today has been manic. I’m so ready for a big glass of wine and an even bigger gossip session with Darcy over the new American Bachelor.

Ashlee regularly talked to the Man on the Moon. He was her closest confidant. He never seemed to fail her. Each evening there he’d appear. Stationary, he was trustworthy that man up there, holding her biggest secrets and sometimes her biggest insecurities.

A vibration in her faded black handbag jumped her back into reality. A text from Darcy:

Change of plans honey, Eddie’s here.

Her fingertips were as if out of a fast paced action movie replying back at a speed her mother could not cope with. She could barely find the ‘send’ button on Ashlee’s hand-me-down Blackberry. Yes, she was still stuck in the naughties. It had been an upgrade from her previous Nokia 3310.

What? Why?

Ping.

Just get here as soon as you can. Something to do with Flo.

Oh god. Is he okay? She typed back.

Edward Ascott had been a long time friend of Darcy’s. Edward and Ashlee weren’t merely even friends. The only time they were ever seen in the same room was if it involved Darcy. In no way was he Ashlee’s type. Besides, even if he were, Eddie had been in a long-term relationship with Florence Bishop, a well known socialite who ran in the most exclusive of circles but somehow managed to put up with Eddie’s long running tab of bullshit. All in all, they were how everyone would describe, including Ashlee’s mother, as a ‘picture-perfect’ couple.

Ashlee had never really given Eddie much thought compared to the other women who constantly cooed over him. Yes, he was classically good looking by most books. What with those green eyes, a few scattered tattoos (which if her mother knew about she would not approve, though Ashlee doubted it would actually change her perception of him), dark hair and towering height. Ashlee kept herself distant from men like Eddie. First and foremost he was taken by Flo and she had rules when it came to boys with girlfriends. Secondly, she secretly prided herself on being the only girl possibly out there in the world that wasn’t attracted to him or flirted with him when he gave them a chance.

If she had had the foreknowledge of what was to occur that evening before entering into Darcy’s South Bank apartment she probably would have never left home. She’d have made up an excuse that she felt sick or her anxiety was playing up. Unfortunately, she did not have the ability to go back in time nor did she have a crystal ball that could tell her the future. Well, there was that magic 8 ball hiding somewhere at the back of her wardrobe but that was an entirely different story.

Eddie looked awful when she walked in. His eyes were rimmed red and he couldn’t make eye contact with either of them. Her very words were, after embracing a concerned looking Darcy, along the lines of, “Shit Eddie, what happened?”

He looked dire. No, more than dire. His composure was sullen as he sat bent over on the couch. His cheeks were tear-stained and he looked as if he hadn’t showered in three days judging by the amount of stubble protruding from his face. Well so much for a girl’s night, she thought.

“Flo left,” Eddie whispered looking up at her.

“Oh Eddie, I’m so sorry. God that’s awful. What’s it been? Six years or something?” she said placing herself on the arm of the couch next to him. She was unsure whether to touch him in case he might crumple in a heap under her.

“Or something,” he said with a disbelieving grin. “God, I feel like an idiot.” He hung his head in his hands.

Ashlee and Darcy looked at each other. Neither one of them had any words. Ashlee had never seen Eddie like this before. Darcy, springing up off her seat into action, went to go fix them all a glass of wine or something stronger. They both knew that this could be a long night.

Placing her hand gently on his back she said with a concerned expression, “Look Eddie, I know we’re not very close but I’m here if you need to talk or not to talk. Whatever you need I’m here.” He reached up for her hand holding it in his over his shoulder his green eyes locking with hers. In that split second, something changed.

After an outpouring from Eddie – Flo had finally left him to move to Argentina. She had said she

needed ‘space’ to find herself. Personally, Ashlee thought it probably came down to the fact that Florence probably had had enough of Eddie’s constant partying. It wouldn’t have been the first time Flo had caught him with another girl over Snapchat. They may only last ten seconds but people, especially the elite, thrived off gossip.

If only she had looked up to the moon as her driver pulled out of Darcy’s driveway at two in the morning, she would have heard him say, Oh darling, don’t be a fool for love with this man.

The next day against her better judgment she picked up her phone and called Eddie. Normally, she had boundaries when it came to calling guys, however this was different. Well, she convinced herself it was different. Eddie was a friend in need. Even if they weren’t very close her heart ached for him.She hated seeing people down. Eddie’s response to her reaching out was not what she had expected at all. He seemed overly grateful for her support. It seemed peculiar to her that he was this approachable as they had barely spoken before his breakup with Flo. Dismissing her suspicions she allowed him to pour his heart out to her. Besides, she insisted to her lecturing conscience. He is probably telling all his friends the same things as he does to me.

What happened next was not what she had intended. The days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into two months. Slowly, between the texts, the late night calls and the crazy nights hanging out in the pub down on the corner from her house, her feelings towards Eddie began to change. Before she could even stop herself she came to the realisation that her heart had altered towards him.

It’s just a crush, she told herself. I don’t want to be the rebound girl.

Yet, crushes felt like you were rocketing a thousand miles into outer space with no helmet on and before you could even gaze back at the earth you would realise that your whole world was consumed with the galaxies and stars. A rush of excitement came every time she saw him. His goofy grin when he talked about his job working for a corporate consulting firm or the old man, who lived upstairs, that dressed like he was out of the Gatsby era who never failed to say ‘Good morning son’ to him with a brief head nod whilst picking up the morning paper. There was more depth to him than she had seen before. Perhaps she had misjudged him after all.

Maybe it was her sixth sense but deep down she could not deny it. I am becoming the rebound girl, she told herself one night in the midnight hour. Tossing and turning under her sheets she debated over her dilemma. Well, not yet. But I could be. Why is this so difficult to let go? I cannot allow myself to be the rebound girl.

She knew it deep down. You could not be the rebound girl and not know it. It was this sense of

knowing that even if you tried your hardest and fought against it with every fibre of your being - you were being depended on. It was a fine balance of caring and yet, not caring too much. What do you do if you’re the rebound girl?

Well, you run very, very far away.

You see - the rebound girl never won in her books. She gets worn-in in the story. There for a moment, then blown away with the next wind that comes his way. So, the question was, how does one stop being the rebound girl?

You assess the situation. You smile but hold him out at arm’s length. You don’t want to be the rebound girl Ashlee-Marie!

Maybe she was a bad liar. Or the truth had finally caught up to her. The only truth was this: People needed time -

And time heals all wounds.

Because one thing she knew deeper than ever before, she was not the rebound girl, she was the girl. However, she found herself slowly waking up each morning yearning for him. How did she end up like this yearning for the one thing she really shouldn’t want?

One evening she crept up the exit stairs towards the rooftop of her apartment. Above the sky was dazzling in all its glory before her. Millions of stars twinkled in the night sky. It was the most beautiful sight she had ever gazed upon. You never saw the stars like this in London. There he was, so stable, so still shining down on her like he always did. Oh hello Mr Man on the Moon, she whispered. I think I’m falling for him. Like real tumbling down a rabbit hole kind of falling. Oh Mr Man on the Moon, I never ask for anything but please if I can ask one thing, please let this be!

Perhaps, it was the recent eclipse that foreshadowed what was to come, but Ashlee couldn’t deny that her feelings towards Eddie had changed. Oh Mr Man on the Moon, she whispered looking up towards the sky. Why now? I cannot deny these feelings but I can’t have them. Take them away from me Mr. Man on the moon. I cannot fall in love with Eddie.

The man laughed back at her, Oh what a child, oh what a fool! Always running away from love and then thinking that I am the one who is cruel for placing it right in front of her!

In all his frustration at the girl down below, the Man on the Moon realigned the stars in her favour. He watched as their story unfolded in the night sky. He bore witness to Eddie and her that final summer evening, with the bonfire glowing, where finally after three months they kissed. His eyes misted as their hearts intertwined in the South of France. The stars worried about him as they sat in the expanse seeing his sorrow grow as he gave the girl over to the man down below. They tried to gleam even more so just to keep his shine up at night for the lovers down below.

Two years passed in a blink of the eye and Ashlee Marie soon forgot about the moon as well as the man that lived on it. In the autumn of that year a new breeze blew. It was whispered in the wind as the leaves began to sway down onto the dimly lit side streets. She had a longing in the deepest part of her soul. It was a sound and song that only she could hear. There was a wrestle in her soul that had been ongoing for some time. No, it was deeper than that. It went far beyond both body and soul.

She hated not feeling adequate. For the most part – that daily grind – she was fine. However, something had to change. Standing on the veranda in the dawn of night wide awake she looked up to her old friend, the Man on the Moon. Please, let something change, she begged the universe. Looking to the stars and inhaling her final cigarette she pleaded to whatever god ruled the world to let something break. I need a change, a second chance. I don’t want to be this girl anymore.

That was the problem that came with being strong for too much time. Darkness would creep into the cracks like a thief in the night, leaving the ceiling in the room open to a sky full of damage. Inhaling a deep breath, she closed her eyes. Please, I beg of you. I’ll do anything. I’ll change. I’ll be the girl you want me to be. The woman I know I should be. Just help me find her again. Her walls had been high for long enough. Now they were slowly crumbling around her. Looking to the moon she tried to find some closure in its basking grey light. Tugging her dressing gown tighter onto to her now willowy frame she put her cigarette down and crept inside. That was the problem with silk; it never kept you warm enough.

He looked so gentle lying there in the white sheets. Breathing softly he was at his stillest when asleep in their second hand bed that they had bought at a garage sale on Bathgate Street that one summer. She would never forget that summer two years ago. My god, how has that much time passed? She thought to herself as she looked at him. I love him. I swear I do. But...

Stopping herself she placed herself quietly onto the chair near the window where should could still view the moon. The Man on the Moon must have been jealous of her shine all those years ago when he aligned the stars for her on her old rooftop. Because, ever since the night her eyes had finally glimmered with Eddie’s as one under the night stars with the music playing only loud enough for them to hear and the lights twinkling just enough to help him see her sparkle, she had been a fool. Oh how I’ve been a fool for love, she whispered to the man. I couldn’t help myself. I tried for so long not too and then I surrendered myself completely helpless. Oh I’m a fool Mr Man on the Moon. Oh how I am a hopeless romantic fool!

Just ‘friends’ that was all they were supposed to be. It was that summer that Flo had left him. Young and careless, she had found her emotions tumbling down like a field of dandelions. One blow and you’re flying away. Days of yearning for each other turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months, then finally one night she had plucked up the courage to say how she really felt. Somehow despite all odds - ‘the favour of the universe’ she had put it down to at the time; he felt the same. Their first kiss had been as if it was written by the author of the stars. She had completely forgotten how she had begged the Man on the Moon to turn the stars in her favour.

Magic, that’s what it had felt like. Absolute magic. They’d been in each other's pocket ever since that evening. Together they had explored the world drinking rosé in small Italian bars and boomeranging right back to the arctic colds of London. No one could deny that they were two lovers destined to collide. If not then, the universe would have intertwined them onto the same path at some point. Her mother called it ‘destiny’ when she finally admitted her and Eddie were an item.

Destiny, she thought. What the fuck is destiny? Is this destiny? She thought looking at him lying peacefully in the bed. Oh how she loved him. She loved his smile and the way when he had too much to drink he became like a little kid. She loved how his lips would turn into a slight grin when he was nervous. She loved his strong hands that could make her weak at one touch but also could be so cruel. She loved how he was so protective of her remembering how he had shielded her from those drunken boys that one night in a German pub. It was a trait she had noticed in him long before they’d ever – oh I wish we had never!

Slumping down into the seat she pulled her gown closer to her body. Her walls came crumbling down; she hung her head in her hands. Oh Mr Man on the Moon I can’t do this anymore! I love him and yet I hate him! I hate the way he makes me feel both completely beautiful and tormented at the same time. I hate how I am a fool for his green eyes and his quintessential Cambridge charm. Darn you Mr Man on the Moon! Darn, you!

She looked out the window. Above the skyline with its smoke puffing out of the chimneys, she could see the moon. It shone brightly that night much like that first night when their story had started. It was as if she could almost feel the moon teasing her. She knew that you couldn’t change the past.

She gasped for air, wishing that she had more time.

I don’t want to be this girl. I never wanted to be this girl. Oh please, oh please help me!

Gathering up the little strength that she had left she crawled into the bed. How many times had he sneaked in at a godforsaken hour while she had lain wide awake waiting for him to come home? How many times had he said he was sorry when she knew he wasn’t? More than she could count. She was tired. Tired of the drunken and drugged up nights. Tired of the stories she heard of him with wild, pretty girls. No more. I promised myself no more.

Pulling the blankets up to her chest she lay still listening to his breathing. How could you want something so badly but at the same time want nothing at all? I don’t want him. Not anymore. Tomorrow I am gone, she said to herself. She could feel the man on the moon laughing down at her inability to stick to a promise. I swear Mr Man on the Moon tomorrow I am gone!

Watching the pale moonlight shadows through the window pane, she slowly closed her eyes with the knowledge that when she woke up the next morning she would have enough strength to change, to leave, pack up what little she cared about and finally go.

Eddie woke up as daylight began to break in between the curtains, a cold breeze blowing. She’s still here, he thought. After all this time she is still here. Oh how I have been a fool Mr Man on the Moon. Oh, how I have been a fool for her! He brushed the hair from her eyes a she laid there gently next to him. I love her, I love her. She has stayed somehow after all this time even when I have been a fool. Oh how, I have fallen for her more and more with each breath she takes.

He was fiercely protective of her. He would shield her from all harm if he could. At time, it was too much and it would end in heated arguments, with tears, slamming bathroom doors and bruises.Despite all this time – How? He wondered. How did I get this lucky? I’ll do anything for her. I always have. From the very moment I saw her. The most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Oh how she shined! That twinkle that led me closer to her, the courage that made me finally tell her I felt the same that day.

He knew he had taken his time in courting her. She was too beautiful to be taken for granted and yet he knew that he had at times. Ashlee-Marie had been the girl men wanted but could never have. There once was a time he thought she would never even give him the time of day. Everything had changed after that night at Darcy’s. Funny how one moment, one touch, could change everything.

I love her, I love her. He whispered to himself all over again. He needed her more than she needed him. But he couldn’t let her go. Too much time had passed. There wasn’t a world to him without her in it.

In that quiet wake of dawn the man grimaced down on them. Silly children, he thought. Both absolute fools for each other and me the Man on the Moon caught in the middle! Asking me to help her leave and him asking me to make her stay! Both absolute fools! If only she knew! If only he knew!

Ashlee didn’t want this life and she knew deep down she didn’t want him either. She wasn’t built for the ensemble of wild nights and pretty girls. Yet, she also knew she wasn’t built to be the girl the man up above wanted her to be. She could give neither what they truly wanted.

As the Man on the Moon looked down below at her incredulously, she walked out the front door with her packed bags away from a bewildered Eddie with a Tiffany engagement ring in his hands.

The stars, still jealous of her shine, sighed pitifully.

Perhaps this is how it is meant to be, they whispered. Two star struck lovers and a girl who stole the heart of the moon.