The Dark Side Of Empathy

In 1963, The New Yorker commissioned Philosopher and political theorist Hannah Arendt, to travel to Jerusalem and report the trial of Adolf Eichmann who was one of the major organizers of the Holocaust.

Arendt’s writings about the trial, which was published in Eichmann In Jerusalem: A Report on the Banality of Evil, captures a sober reality about an aspect of human nature which we always see as good — empathy.

One of the core messages Arendt puts across in her findings, which is now popularly known as “the banality of evil,” is that those who perpetrate acts of evil, like Eichmann or the regular civilians who supported leaders like Hitler and the Nazi party, are often just regular people.

They may not be motivated by any grandiose or demonic plans. They are usually people who just think they are doing what needs to be done (their jobs) or protecting their loved ones against outsiders.

In other words, even though these people are just as kind and affectionate towards their own children, wives, husbands, friends, and families, as any normal person would, they were unable to extend the same affection to the suffering of those they perceived were different from them.

The Downside of Empathy

The upside of empathy as we all know is that it enables us to put ourselves in the shoes of others; to be able to imagine what they feel, and see things through their eyes. It fosters understanding and connects us on a deeper level.

But the downside of empathy, it appears, is that it is often too emotional, one-sided, and impulsive.

Empathy is usually directed towards those who are similar to us. This polarized affection leads to a larger gap and a more intense in-affection towards those who are different.

For instance: A person may show kindness and affection towards the suffering of those who are of the same race or religious belief but completely ignore, or fail to understand the suffering of those who are of the opposite. In fact, in some cases, they assume their suffering is well deserved. As Fritz Breithaupt, author of The Dark Side of Empathy put it,

“Sometimes, we commit atrocities, not out of the failure of empathy, but rather as a direct consequence of successful or, even overly successful, empathy.”

The point Fritz is trying to pass across in his book is one we are all too familiar with. In fact, it’s one of the leading causes of conflict in the world today; the most prominent example being racism. Though all races contain people who are kind, compassionate, and understanding towards their loved ones and those of the same race, the same affection usually fuels distaste for the opposite race.

Another example is a terrorist who thinks he or she is only fighting for a noble cause — to protect and defend the rights of those they love. But the same love also intensifies the hatred for the opposite side. As Fritz said,

“When you take on a side, you take the perspective of that side. You can see the painful parts of that perspective and empathize with them, and that empathy can fuel seeing the other side as darker or more dubious.”

Self Awareness: The Missing Link

This, however, isn’t to say that empathy is a flaw in our nature that we should repress. Empathy, no doubt is a remarkable gift nature has bestowed on us. Being able to empathize with others plays a vital role in our interpersonal connections.

But like many other instinctive behaviors, we need a level of self-awareness to use it at it’s best. We need to recognize that when we base our morality only on empathy, our actions and judgment of others are usually polarized and emotion-driven.

Empathy, as we know through experience, can be all too intuitive. A sensitive movie scene, even though we know isn’t real, could still make us cry. We curse and take sides before we get the facts to see that the opposite of our assumptions could as well be the truth. It is a part of our nature and it is deeply ingrained in all of us.

Therefore, what we need, as the 20th-century philosopher Bertrand Russell suggested, is to recognize that a more desirable form of sensitiveness is sympathy. That the test of the quality of our empathy comes when we are called upon to aid suffering or need even when the needy one is not an object of special affection. In Russel’s words,

“First, we feel sympathy even when the sufferer is not an object of special affection; secondly, we feel it when the suffering is merely known to be occurring, not sensibly present.”

True care is one that involves indiscriminate attention. Sure, it sees and understands the suffering of those who are close, but it is also capable of going beyond those often too emotional attachments and understand the sufferings of others. As the Indian Mystic Sadhguru advised, “Only when your attention and involvement is indiscriminate does life open up to you.”

Base your decisions less on emotions. Adopt a more rational kind of empathy that extends to those who are not similar or special to you. After all, as Goethe put it in his Maxims and Reflections,

“Everyone has something in their nature which, if they were to express it openly, would of necessity give offense.”