The Commitment

It was a hot and humid Sunday afternoon and we sat together in silence on the veranda of the house we had purchased.

I had been lucky and struck a rich seam of gold. The beginning of the 20th century was an exciting time to be alive. Most parts of the world were open to settlement, and I must say that I agree with Jade’s opinion that the only adventure left in the world was to be found in business.

In the peace and quiet of the moment Jade blurted out, ‘What do we do from now on?’

‘What do you have in mind? ‘I asked.’

‘Just that. All I know is that more of the same will make me feel useless and old before my time.’ Jade replied.

‘Well, all I can say is what a pleasure it is to have such a problem.’

Jade smiled.

‘I suppose most women would envy me and my problem. Here I am with a wonderful man and money enough to live in style for ever and a day.’

She paused and seemed reflective before adding. ‘The way things look the money pile will grow and grow. So why do I feel restless?’

‘Well, what would you like to do? We could build the hotel down in Brisbane or anywhere you fancy. You could run it. Or perhaps we should go on a trip back to Wales and you could meet my mother. For me the biggest problem we seem to have is where to invest the money.’

‘Don’t be silly Griff. Why would I want to be involved in running a hotel? I’ve worked at that before. If I wanted to own a hotel I would have stayed in Rockhampton and taken over my mum’s place.’

‘Well how about a trip to Sydney and Melbourne. That way I might get some idea of what to do with the money.’

‘I suppose that might be exciting, but it really does not solve any of my problems.’

‘What problems do you have that I don’t know about?’

‘Well for one thing there is my Asianness. I am half English and half Chinese and while I know that I have the best of both races pushing through my veins I also know that people look at me as different and in some cases with suspicion. Surely you must have noticed that some of your associates try to be superior and their women; will they find it hard to accept me on equal terms.’

‘Can’t say that I have noticed anything that worried me or made me feel concerned for you. Perhaps there might have been one or two occasions when some of those women with good looks and no brain showed just how jealous of you they were, but I let that sort of thing go over my head.’

‘I suppose Griff that’s the thing about you that makes me love you. In many ways your as different as I am.’

She reached over and held my hand. That made me feel good. She smiled again and look me in the eye and said, ‘When I arrived in Gympie, and before you struck it rich, was the most appalling and disparaging time of my life. It reminded me of when I was a little girl in Rockhampton. I was always struggling to fit in. I knew that some of the mothers of the other kids were worried about me. But we had money and believe me I soon learned the difference and power that money bestows.’

That strong lovely face with the high cheekbones and different eyes became intensely focused on me as she continued without missing a beat.

‘I learned that society rejects what is considered a threat. Everyone is looking out for everyone else. Society saw the Islander boys, the Kayakers, as a threat to employment in the cane fields. The result was that society closed ranks and forced the Islander boys out. And it goes much deeper.

You had many more discussions with him than I did and must remember those ideas of Andrew Fishers about keeping Australia for the British. I think he called it his White Australia policy. Margaret Irvine was much too nice to disagree with him. I often wonder if she acquiesced to all his ideas after the marriage. ‘

“Come on Jade. Don’t be like that. I know you like that woman. Anyway, why don’t you speak up at the time we were talking about how the country should be developed?’

‘Because he never spoke of such things when I was in your company. I only learned of that by way of my conversations with Margaret. Who does he think he is? Why I’m more Australian than he is. I was born here for goodness’ sake. That’s more than he or you can say. You’re both migrants.’

‘Well don’t get too worked up. Remember, you and I are a team.’

‘I know that, and I take much pleasure from being with you. As I said before we are both different but in different ways.’

‘Perhaps you should explain to me what you are driving at.’ I said.

‘I’d be glad to. Society must have rules and regulations to function. The individual’s role is to operate within those rules and gain status and peace of mind through popularity and the illusion of achievement. In my opinion, the only true individuals in the society that Australia is seeking is the sportsmen and women. To my mind Australians are managed and not led. What is more, I believe that Australians like it that way?

As best as I can determine you, Griff, have had the best of both worlds. Your youth in Wales was privileged. Your family owned a coal mine. Your family had money and status that allowed you to enjoy the company of the laboring classes, the miners. But you were also at ease in the company of the gentry. Your half-brothers did not understand the laboring class and were frightened by their lack of understanding. Their greed was their undoing in both their own business and the business of speculating. But it was fear of the miners, and probably that fear included you, and I hope many more like you, that was at the foundation of their problems. They saw no percentage, or no what’s in it for me, by trying to understand thing other than their privilege and wealth and how that privilege and wealth was generated.

Have you ever stopped to think about why you seem to fit in comfortably in any section of society?

You could work along with the miners; you held your own in the boxing ring with them; you could contribute to any discussion about the management of the mine. You showed leadership ability, not management style. It is little wonder that your half-brothers needed to send you as far away as possible.

You asked me what I am driving at, and I struggle to put into words the feeling of my life experience.

You always were a member of the majority, while for me there was always the question of where I belonged. When I asked my mother once if I was more English than Chinese, she simply said- “you are the best of both.” Nonetheless, I was never quite sure if anyone else agreed with her. I remember one kid calling me a skinny little slant eye. It hurt me very much, but I must tell you the pain I felt was very different from the pain he felt shortly after that outburst.’

‘You never told me about this before Jade what did you do?’ I said.

‘Well, I grabbed that cricket bat he was holding and gave him one almighty wack across the flanks. Luckily for him I didn’t aim at his head. I might have killed him or at least hit a six; who knows. The upshot from all that was that he never came near me again and what I didn’t know until then was that this kid was also bullying my friends. My friends were never bothered again, and I became the leader of our little group.

Now I must tell you that in the few years that we had been together never once had I seen tears well in those mischievous and sparkling eyes. Jade tried to shrug and smile but the smile faded.

‘I consider the experience with that bullyboy to be my first great lesson in Life.’ she said.

‘The fact is I have given a lot of thought to society and how I want to live and how and what I might achieve with my life. Believe me, I have kept my wits about me and have been observant and I have also asked myself many questions. I never resigned myself to the circumstances of my birth. I did not have goals of consequence in my childhood, but I knew and accepted that certain things were outside my control. Nevertheless, after that incident with the bully I knew that personal responsibility and actions was the road for me. Being passive and accepting of the role of victim of circumstance was never to be part of the character I strive to obtain.’

‘So are you saying that reprisals provide power. If that were the case, then why wouldn’t the political type men like Fisher, who worry about the plight of the majority, simply go about plotting to cease political power. That would be more effective than wasting time encouraging the majority to agree with their logic. ‘

‘Don’t be silly. No one would accept that. That is why people migrated in the first place. Besides, if that were the case, then there would be no room for self-expression and free will. I suppose all that I am saying is that actions have consequences. ‘

‘Please tell me more. What are you getting at here Jade?’

‘I wish I knew. We all are shaped by our experience and actions of those around us. I recall my grandmother grieving about the death of her husband and how shocked I was when about three weeks after his death we were sitting down for the evening meal when in a trancelike state she said, “I suppose he got what he deserved?”

‘Are you talking about grandad?’ I asked her.

‘Yes, I am dear.’ She replied.

‘The thing was there is talk of seeking reprisal on the aboriginal community for dispatching your grandfather with a spear in the chest and I am not sure that I totally agreed with that action.’

‘But surely there must be some punishment for killing grandad?’ I replied.

‘Yes, what those aboriginals did is against the law and the law says that the consequence of an act of murder is punishment by hanging.’

‘So, what else is there to consider?’ I ask.

‘Circumstance my dear. The thing is I cannot help feeling that there is another way to look at what happened. The reason those aboriginal men killed your grandfather was because he was selling opium to some of the tribe. In their view the consequence of their actions, the stopping drugs being used in the community, resulted in a better and happier life for their people. Your grandfather was simply seeking to profit at the expense of others. He was not contributing to the moral or social good of society. I suppose what I am getting at is that while there is a clear case of blame and murder there are other things that should be taken into consideration. It might be best to forgive and forget and forgo the punishment of those aboriginal men in this situation.’

Jade only paused for a moment before continuing.

‘So, to answer your question about “what am I getting at?” I suppose what I am saying is that it is the consequence of our actions that is important. To me just sitting around here living a lazy life of wealth seems to be producing nothing of worthwhile consequence. We will simply amble through life, growing petty and useless and obsessed with protecting our wealth.’

‘Let me tell you Jade I sense that there is another consequence to such a life. If I choose not to find an answer to your question of, “what do we do from now on?” then we most probably must part, or you must accept a life that would not be very fulfilling for you. Now as both options are unacceptable to me, I think I will put the ball back in your court.’

I did not know what else to say, but I knew that I must somehow reinforce that statement. I continued as frankly as the words in my power would let me.

‘I may be less mature in my thinking about many things than you, but I know when I am on a good thing. You are so very important to me Jade. So, lead the way and let me follow, and to hell with the consequence.’