The Chronicles of Pain.

"I'm pregnant."

My sister stared at me blankly.

"Did you hear me?"

Without a word, she left the room and shut the door behind her.

I didn't see it going that way but, what did I expect?

A daughter of Samoan parents, pregnant without a husband, let alone her own place to live. I couldn't take care of myself let alone a baby.

But, I wanted this baby. I knew I wasn't ready but, I wanted her.

Brrrrrrr. Brrrrrrr.

"Hello?"

"Hey. Are you busy?"

"No. You ok?"

"I'm fine. I'm heading over."

"Ok cool. I'm next door so just come over here."

"Ok."

"Hey."

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

That drive felt like forever and here I was stuck with my thoughts. Seriously, if anyone could hear what my thoughts were telling me they would have had nightmares. I started doubting and telling myself that maybe it wasn't a good idea to tell him. After all, he was only eighteen! What could I even DO with that? Here I am a 23-year-old woman who had plans for the rest of her single life and I was pregnant with this kid's baby. What was I even thinking? He was barely getting his life together and hadn't even hit the peak of his partying days! Wait. Would he even want the baby? Wow. This was way too fast. Way too soon. We'd only been officially dating for four months and here I come prancing in with baby news.

I pulled over to the side of the road and just sat there.

What am I even doing?

I continued to just stare out of the window of my car wondering if I should go ahead and tell him.

I didn't want to and honestly, it scared the shit out of me to know that this child was going to connect us forever. Commitment wasn't my idea of a good time; however, I sincerely had the greatest role models when it came to relationships.

My parents.

Before I could let my mind wander even more, I found myself driving towards my destination.

I got out of the car and this huge giant of a guy met me outside of the neighbors house saying, "Who is that sexy lady getting out the car?"

I turned both ways and then looked at him while pointing at myself.

He laughed and came over to give me a hug.

Out of nowhere these big heaving sobs came flowing out of me like running water.

He hugged me tighter and said, "Do you want to tell me what's going on?"

I hugged him tighter and he just held me.

We finally let go and his neighbor, with perfect timing, comes walking out of the house with a jolly voice saying, "Wait! Is that her? G, she can't be Polynesian. She's so small!" He walked over and scooped me into his bear-like arms and hugged me saying, "So nice to meet you!"

I laughed and agreed that it was always nice to meet me. Both giants let out a guffaw.

"Alright, I'm going to take off. As you can tell, my lady here isn't feeling too well."

"Totally get it man. You both have had a rough couple of months."

"Thanks man."

They give each other bro hugs and we head off to our favorite spot.

As we reach our destination, I grab both of his hands and say, "I just want you to know that after I say what I'm going to say, if you feel you're not ready, I will understand."

He smiles and says, "Okay....?"

BIG HUGE BREATH.

"I'm pregnant."