The box

And the night was black. So black that her own hand in front of her face was almost unrecognizable. There was a storm brewing but not the kind caused by Mother Nature. An internal storm. One that had been building for a very long time. The darkness overshadowed the light and the winds of change were howling. Something was on the horizon but it could only be felt. It had no shape nor form. Just an ominous presence. She wanted so badly for this night to end but knew it was just the beginning. She had nights like this before although they had not affected her quite like this. She felt vulnerable and weak and her only question was “what do I do now?” She was afraid of losing the part of herself that made her strong. Fight or flight?? We all know she only has always known flight. She doesn’t do fight very well at all. So away into the darkness in the recesses of her mind she runs.

Searching for the ever elusive answer to her question. The cobweb of emotions are thick, filled with the skeletons of her past. She brushes them aside only to find more. Will this never end? Her mind… cluttered like an old attic. Ghosts from her past, demons from her present. Are all collected here. It is overwhelming. Where does she begin to find her answers? “Begin at the beginning” a soft voice whispered. She feels a presence, guiding her, there for her, helping her. She sifts through the broken heart pieces and disappointments. Throws away the hurt and pain. Rummages through the broken promises and lies. Feeling calmer, she knows what must be done.

She feels relief as she discards everything that has ruined her very being. Thoughts are beginning to be clearer. Just when she is almost done, she sees a last item. A small box. As she opens it a breeze grazes her cheek. Inside she finds a small stone. One which she carried for years as a remembrance but somehow lost. Written on it was a single word… Hope. It was almost unrecognizable but she knew it in an instant. THAT was her answer. What she had been searching for. That which had been lost for so very long. NOW, she could begin to heal.

Everything that has caused her pain, that she has kept within her for so long, she will now toss away. Forgotten will be the pain and anguish, discarded like the garbage that it is. Unwanted and no longer holding power over her. She will begin again. A new outlook on a life that was ruined by others for so long. She is strong and knows how to defeat the demons. She realizes the damage holding onto these memories has done to her. Kept her from being truly happy. Feeling alone and isolated. Unworthy of anything good in her life. Now she will find a reason to survive.

That one small stone, with that one little four letter word will give her reason to live. Hope is a powerful thing. It gives us something to grab on to. It can ward off evil and bring about brighter days. It can return a life when there once was none. It is the anticipation of positive things to come. When you've lost it, it sometimes is very hard to find again. It is something we all need to have. She knows this now. She had to go through the struggles and the hell fire to come out the other side whole again. With hope, she will rise.