The Anchor

“If you want your ship of life to leave the port of insanity…be willing to remove the anchor from the ship.” — Xavier Ludwig

Narcissistic people are indeed a disgusting lot of people. I say this not to denigrate but to reveal what they so desperately try to hide and conceal from the world.

Narcissistic people — and I have come to realize this the more I research them — have a MASSIVE INFERIORITY COMPLEX.

This is why they are so rude, insensitive, spiteful, vengeful, hate-filled, and manipulative.

Without a doubt, gaslighting (Download free ebook and subscribe to my newsletter) is one of their favorite tactics to use against their victims in their lives.

If they can make people doubt who they are, then those people will be easily controlled by the narcissist.

Narcissistic people wear a mask because they know if people saw who they are, they wouldn’t want to be around them.

This is precisely why they place anchors in their victims’ lives so that they will always be stuck with the narcissist.

These people are MASSIVE LOSERS (these narcissists).

So, you may be wondering what is “The Anchor.”

Allow me to explain.

Disclaimer: This article includes affiliate links!

What Is The Anchor?

Photo by CHUTTERSNAP on Unsplash

• flying monkeys (who are 1000% dedicated to their narc master)
• co-workers (people whom you must work with on an everyday basis)
• associates (people you may need to meet and see regularly and have a somewhat courteous and friendly relationship)
• FAMILY (KIDS)

Now, these anchors sometimes are unaware of what they are to the narc, especially the kids.

These people act as chains to forever keep you/us in the narc’s lives.

The narcissists place these people in your/our lives because they know that their mask is going to slip off sooner or later, and people will see them for who they truly are.

So what do they (the anchors) do exactly?

The “Friend”

Photo by Hannah Rodrigo on Unsplash

If they are friends (and in this case probably just loyal foolish flying monkeys), they will “hear” about how you guys broke up and separated.

They will tell you how much they have changed for the better and hope someday you will be able to forgive them.

Now, notice.

This is the COWARD NARCS way of trying to see if they can still manipulate you. The plea for you forgiving them serves many functions.

One is that, if you think they are regretful, you will feel sorry for them and forgive them WITHOUT THEM EVER APOLOGIZING.

Because we all know these people will never apologize or take accountability for their actions.

Another reason for them doing this is because they want to see if you still think about their worthless @sses.

They want to see what you think about them. And they do this through the “friend” (i.e., the foolish slave flying monkey).

Be very careful with a “friend” who always seems to bring up your ex-narc.

If you run into these losers — and most likely you will because again, the narc PLANTED these fools in your life to act as an anchor to keep you bound to their worthless life — always be upbeat and talk about all the good things that have come your way after separating.

Talk about how much time you have now to focus on your dreams, goals, business, health, or a new relationship.

This is NOT TEASING, but letting the narc and the fool in front of you know how much better life has gotten for you AFTER leaving the narc.

This reaffirms, to the narc, that THEY are the problem, NOT you.

Also, be on the lookout for a glimpse of the gritting of the teeth. That will be a clear sign for you to know that that person you call a “friend” really isn’t a friend and is just an informant.

They feel what their narc master feels.

Understand that narcs have NO LIVES without having a victim in their lives.

These people are disgusting.

The Co-Worker

Photo by LinkedIn Sales Solutions on Unsplash

Whatever god(s) that may be know how many jobs I have been fired from because of working for a covert insecure narc boss or because of groups of foolish flying monkey co-workers wanting me gone.

Often, you do meet that one professional person who comes to work to actually… WORK!

God, can you imagine that?

A person coming to work to “work” and not gossip, chatter around the office, stick their nose in everybody’s business, and so on.

This anchor is strictly for people who HAVE to work a job they hate but NEED.

With this person, the narcissist at work will tolerate this person’s professionalism, as long as they can “use” them to get more information on you (the target).

They won’t respect them, but they will tolerate them because they serve them; unknowingly.

The professional associate is unaware of the narc’s games — and what they use the associate for is to keep tabs on what you think or feel about a certain issue at work.

They will bring you up in a conversation AFTER you have talked with the associate to see what you were talking about.

These people serve more like information. The more the narc knows about you, the easier it is to control you and manipulate you.

When at work, keep it as professional and neutral as possible.

Whenever asked a question, always say that you have no real opinion about it and need some time to think about it.

This serves as disarming the narc and their legion of fools without being hostile or rude.

The Kids

Photo by Ben Wicks on Unsplash

This is perhaps the heaviest anchor on this list.

Narcs WANT KIDS with you.

And they want them RIGHT AWAY.

“Oh, we just met last week. Yes, yes, we should have kids despite barely knowing each other.” — Says every attached narcissist

Narcs want kids because that will FOREVER keep you bound and anchored to the narc’s worthless life.

They know that kids are a powerful anchor to keep us in their lives. And they know, especially for guys, that if they want to hurt a guy for whatever lunacy they have concocted in their warped minds, that all they need do is divorce the guy and let the father see their kids WHEN THEY FEEL LIKE IT.

Kids, to them, are the ultimate anchor.

To a narcissist, marriage is not the end goal…divorce is.

Why?

Because they have almost full control over someone else’s life.

• Alimony Checks
• Be told when the kids can see the father
• She can also date again
• The father will most likely have to work two jobs to stay AFLOAT.
• She will have control over his emotional and mental well-being.
• To the new lover in her life, the guy will seem like a bad guy or loser. To the kids, “daddy doesn’t love us,” and this leads to them turning against him.

It is not uncommon for a father, to become emotionally distraught, angry, confused, hurt, betrayed, and much more.

Alcohol, for many, becomes their best friend.

And to the narc…this is their goal.

Why?

Because.

Just because.

Healing Requires That You Move On

Photo by Mohamed Nohassi on Unsplash

To heal and move on with your life, you have to be willing to let those anchors go. You have to be ready to cut loose the anchors that keep you anchored to the narc’s pathetic life.

For those “friends” that have been planted in your life, cut them loose.

They may have been nice to you, but if they have ties to the narc, they are no good to you.

All they do is REMIND you of the narc.

You can ALWAYS find a better job with better coworkers and associates — or you can invest in a course to learn how to make money online.

There is no good ending in working at a narcissistic workplace.

Believe me, I have been fired from over a dozen jobs because of narcissistic coworkers.

And lastly, for kids — and, you have to think about this.

Yes, they are your kids.

Write to them when you can. Send them letters. Send them video messages of how much you love them and how you wish you could be in their lives.

REMIND THEM YOU LOVE THEM…EVERYDAY!

And I am NOT saying to abandon them.

Make an effort to show them you care.

But…

Also, let the narc know that you are okay with never seeing them again.

What this does to the narc is: it makes them think about what they are doing.

Remember, they use the kids to serve as an anchor.

The kids are nothing to the narc. They are just tools to hurt you.

And why do they want to hurt you?

Because…just because.

There is no reason or logic.

By showing the narc that you can do without the kids, they will do a 180 and start behaving more reasonably.

This is all reverse psychology.

Once they see that you will not fight, they will start behaving a bit more cordial.

The narc wants you angry, upset, desperate and hurt.

Because when you feel like this, you will keep on thinking about them.

Once you reveal to the narc that you are willing to go off on your own, that will show them how worthless they are.

This is a gamble, however, and I do recommend that you think about this.

But I know from my history, the moment I said I wasn’t going to chase them anymore and that I would cut all ties with everyone for my happiness…that made them do a 180.

The Anchors Are For Their Hold On You

Photo by Rostyslav Kondrat on Unsplash

To wrap this up!

Imagine you as a ship, and the narc as a port.

If you want to leave the port of their pathetic lives, their “anchor hold” on you must be removed.

If you can remove those anchors, whatever they may be, and do so unafraid, unshamed, and UNAPOLOGETICALLY …then you can be free.

The narc uses these anchors to hold you close to their lives because they don’t want to lose you.

The funny thing about narcs is that they pretend NOT to want you in their lives, but they not only want us in their lives but NEED us in their lives.

This is why they do such batsh*t crazy things.

Be willing to let those anchors go.

It may be hard, but it is much more challenging to stay and try and reason with these nutjobs.

Be willing to let those anchors go so that you can sail off into a bright new tomorrow.