The 15 Traits of Those Who Know How to Keep Love

If love is a gift, give it when it is appropriate and keep it when it should be … Keepers of love do not hesitate and are not afraid to take responsibility for their decisions. Keepers of love know that every decision they make triggers a behavior.

If love is a gift, give it when it is needed and keep it when you need it …

They carry the dramas related to relationships, they carry the separations with the show, they carry the reconciliations with joy, they carry the personal scandals exposed on the glass, in front of the acquaintances and the strangers. Beautiful and harmonious relationships are in the shadows, away from prying eyes.

Do you know those people who know that all these searches and upheavals can be exciting and attractive, but they will not stand the test of time? But do you know those relationships in which he stays with her and she stays with him and they both go through good and bad until old age, loving each other and making efforts not to lose their love!? 

Do you know those couples who manage to pass a test that seems insurmountable today… the test of time? Anyone can meet love. Sooner or later, at least once in our lives, each of us comes face to face with love. But few know how to keep the love for years, a lifetime…

I stumbled upon psychologist Randi Gunther1's blog and an equally interesting article "Who Are The Keepers?" - The Behaviors of Long-Term Successful Relationship Partners. Based on his own experience, on the clinical observations extracted from his case studies, the psychologist observed that those who manage to create beautiful, stable, and long-term relationships have certain features in common.

The psychologist calls this category of people the Keepers of Love and urges us to learn from them the art of long-term relationships. At the same time, the relationship specialist introduces us to the 15 traits of these guardians of love, successful partners in long-term relationships. Some of them we have, others we can observe in our partner or those around us, others we could try to develop more.

I extracted from the psychologist's article some ideas about the features and behavior of those who know how to keep love. The article in detail, as well as concrete examples that illustrate the features of the Keepers of Love, can be found on Randi Gunther's blog.

1. Those who keep love know that they are responsible for their actions …

Keepers of love do not hesitate and are not afraid to take responsibility for their decisions. Keepers of love know that every decision they make triggers a behavior and they take responsibility for their actions. They have the strength of character, but at the same time, they are flexible.

They want to change for the better, they admit their mistakes and they are constantly looking to improve their relationship.

2. Those who keep love maintain their rhythm even in conditions of stress …

Keepers of love know their rhythm and respect that of those around them. They understand that there are differences in the personal rhythm of functioning between two people. They are therefore reasonable in their flexibility and have the willingness to slow down or speed up their own pace to reach the same level as their partner.

3. Those who keep love are not ordinary spectators. They find a way to stay interested or to retire gracefully…

The keepers of love know that one of the most dangerous enemies of their relationship is boredom. They know that boredom can destroy everything beautiful and interesting in a relationship. I also know that boredom is unpredictable and sometimes inevitable.

Therefore, I give my interest to making an uninteresting situation an interesting and meaningful one. How? Not asking for your resources, but appealing to your resources.

4. Those who keep love see humor as a sacred part of the relationship …

Laughter heals. You're crazy. It frees you from the darkest thoughts, from the deepest fears and pains, and heals you from loneliness. Lovers of love know how important it is to find humor in life and to move your forehead forward, overcoming disappointments and sadness.

The keepers of love make you laugh when necessary. It shows you the full and bright side of the glass. The keepers of love enlighten the situations that need to be enlightened, but not the serious ones, which deserve solemnity and silence. Keepers of love "can process both pain and love," says Randi Gunther, but she prefers to see the sunny side of life.

5. Those who keep love know how to stay balanced …

The keepers of love have self-control and manage not to lose control even if they are provoked. The keepers of love also sometimes fall, but they have inner strength. She supports them every time they shake.

Keepers of love graciously accept compliments and graciously accept criticism. When their partners are unstable, the keepers of love do not react in turn by exaggeration or instability. They remain lucid even under conditions of stress and challenge.

6. Those who keep love do not let guilt influence their decisions …

Keepers of love know that guilt is a deadly weapon in a love affair, but they do not use it. They do not want to be manipulated by their partner. The keepers of love assume their mistakes. They try to fix them instead of exaggerating themselves by blaming themselves.

Because they are not to blame, the keepers of love do not accept to be controlled by guilt. "They care if they make others happy, but they don't act out of fear of losing their partner," says Gunther.

7. Those who keep love store the "good moments" of the relationship …

Keepers of love know that they can only cope with difficult times in a relationship by retiring to the great times of that relationship. It is their method of survival. In easy and beautiful times, love keepers stock up on "good memories" of their relationship.

I submit here the special moments that took place during their relationship and I update them periodically. In difficult situations of their relationship, in the tragic moments of life, they return to these beautiful memories to survive. Keepers of love "are not disrespectful of pain or tragedy, but they balance difficult times with happy memories," says the psychologist.

8. Those who keep love are authentic …

Keepers of love are sincere and are perceived by others as sincere. The keepers of love want their partner to appreciate them for this quality, appreciating it in turn in others. The keepers of love never play doubles, but always act with the cards on the table.

I do not lie or be ashamed of who I am, displaying transparency in everything I think, do, and say. I do not agree with a person if I do not agree with that person. I care about the truth, but I don't point the finger at the mistakes of others.

9. Those who keep love understand and accept their value on the market …

Keepers of love are really about others in terms of their worth. Their values ​​are well defined. I know them very well and do not try to be what they are not to impress or gain someone's grace and acceptance. Before respecting others, they want to respect themselves.

If I participate in competitions, I know how to win and I know how to lose. In this case, "they do not moan or feel rejected. I'm more interested in what could have been done better, "said Randi Gunther on his blog.

10. Those who keep love also look for value in other people …

The keepers of love want to be surrounded by people with true positive traits, and when they find them in others, they share this. Keepers of love know that apart from love and the bonds that are established between people, nothing is certain.

He, therefore, seeks to continually improve his relations and does not hesitate to make assessments if the people in question deserve them. A lover of love will remember an important thing you said to him, says Randi Gunther.

11. Those who keep love avoid unnecessary energy losses …

The keepers of love know that energy depletion can occur at any time and that in life there are situations that actually "drain" you of strength. Fear, disappointment, negativity, wrong attachment, panic, insults… all this must be avoided because it consumes our internal resources, which are so precious.

Keepers of love try to avoid them as much as possible, instead of trying to solve the problems that generate such feelings. Keepers of Love "inspires people to focus on the possible. They do not despise you if you drown in dysfunctional disappointment. Instead, they will help you to put aside the depletion of resources and to focus on what you like about yourself, "said the psychologist.

12. Those who keep love know how to calm down …

"Like everyone else, the keepers of love are upset, they may be hurt, they may feel frustrated, but when difficult times come, their first reaction is to calm down and relax. I know that if they are agitated, they will make mistakes ", it is shown on the psychologist's blog.

When situations call for a calm, love-keepers turn to their inner resources while resorting to what matters to them. Face to face with challenges, it can happen that the keepers of love also lose their calm. But they soon regain control and rectify the situation.

13. Those who keep love seek continuous transformation …

It is not at all easy to love change. The routine can be so comfortable. Many prefer safety and predictability. But the keepers of love know that they must be open to change and transformation and try to combine them with predictability.

Lovers of love know that they must learn from the past and build their plans for the future. They learn from their mistakes and move on, seeking to improve and improve their relationships with others.

14. Those who keep love take care of themselves …

The keepers of love know that they do not have to burden their partner with an extra task, that of taking care of them. I don't put pressure on my partner. Therefore, the keepers of love PERSONALLY do everything they can to maintain their mental, physical and spiritual health. "They go out with people who regenerate them, keep their minds active, and are deeply in love with the spiritual values ​​that sustain them in difficult times. (…)

These are the partners you never have to remind them to take care of. " They are not so selfish as to ask you this or expect it from you.

15. Those who keep love cherish the present moment …

Keepers of love know that it is good to learn from the past and project into the future, but it is even better to live in the present. The keepers of love left behind what must be left and learn to cherish and enjoy the present moments as much as possible. When they are with their partner, they try to be there with him, for him. Entirely.