That’s Gnat Okay

It’s 2008 in Mesquite, Texas at Poteet High School.

The volleyball team has made the playoffs for another year in a row and today is game day. Game day during playoffs means two words, FAN BUS!

A few members from the girl’s and boy’s basketball team, soccer, baseball, softball, track and a few cross country runners were all outside waiting to get on the bus.

My best friend Britney and I (also captains of the basketball team) were chatting with some of our other friends as we were approaching the bus. We saw our other best friend Destiney beat us to the bus and chatting with her then boyfriend who shall remain nameless because, yeah.

As we are all talking in a huge group of small groups, the buses pull up and we are told to wait a moment before we get on. I am talking to a friend, Chris Crump, about God knows what. We used to joke around a lot so there is seriously no telling.

Out of my peripheral, I see a big horse fly bouncing around Crump’s head (down in Texas, we call really big flies “horse flies”).

Then I HEAR what I think is a horse fly in my right ear. I swat it away and it moves. The chaperones for the game tell us to start getting onto the bus. Then that “BUUZZZ” noise comes back and this time my swat is too slow!

Yup! The bug flew in my ear and the buzzing gets VERY loud. I mean monstrous loud. I started hitting the side of my head as if that was going to make it come out.

I hold my nose and blow with my mouth closed, hoping air would push the bug from my ears.

Nothing!

All I hear is buzzing, and now I’m in tears. Yes, one of the most popular girls in the entire school and captain of the basketball team is crying hysterically in front of everyone and honestly has no shame about it. For all I knew, the bug was big and would somehow get to my brain and lay eggs.

Students are on the bus now both waiting to go to the game and wondering “what’s going on with Dee?” There’s a playoff game in less than 30 minutes. If we leave any later, we are going to be late.

As for me? I am not worried about the game anymore, but the trainer must get there. The trainer who is also at the moment helping me. At this point, I’m holding the entire bus up and we are all going to be late to the game.

We get in the training room and I am told to hold my head to the side with my right ear up and over the sink. Coach was about to pour alcohol down my ear to drown the bug, then get it out with some utensil.

The alcohol was poured in my ear. The BUZZING was gone. I was relieved. We could still make it to the game. But the joke was on me then and still on me now. That bug making all that noise was a GNAT!

A GNAT!

It wasn’t even a fly, let alone a horse fly. I had to laugh at myself. One best friend was highly irritated and the other found it extreme funny.

My ego took no jabs as I got into the bus smiling and laughing at myself. I announced to the bus I got on that, “Yall! It was a GNAT! A fucking gnat!” with a laugh.

The volleyball coach found me after the game. She asked, well said “I heard you held the bus up cause of some little bug.” We laughed about that and I explained the story to her.

“A GNAT?” She laughed.

“Yes, coach. A gnat!” I replied with a smile.

The next day I’d laugh and tell others about it in comedic fashion how I tended to do with a lot of stories.

But that night, I slept like a baby knowing a bug wouldn’t find it’s way to my brain and lay eggs.

Today? Well today those very best friends of mine will burst into laughter when bugs get too close or are mentioned. They will tell this story at my wedding.