Talking to yourself

As your morning alarm blares, you grumble, questioning why you set it so early. While brushing your teeth, the thought of needing a haircut crosses your mind, sparking a brief contemplation. Hurriedly leaving the house, you instinctively reach for your keys, only to realize they are nowhere to be found. Frustration takes hold, and you exclaim in frustration, feeling incapable of doing anything right, only to notice your neighbor's presence at that very moment. Being caught talking to oneself can lead to embarrassment, and some individuals even stigmatize it as a sign of mental instability.

However, decades of psychological research have demonstrated that self-talk is perfectly normal. In fact, the majority, if not all, of us engage in some form of self-talk on a daily basis. So, why do we talk to ourselves, and does the content of our self-talk matter?

Self-talk refers to the internal narration that occurs within our minds, often referred to as inner speech. It is distinct from mental imagery or recalling factual information. Psychologists define self-talk as verbalized thoughts directed towards oneself or specific aspects of one's life.

This encompasses personal conversations like reminding oneself to work on improving free throws or reflecting on daily events, such as deciding to return to the gym another day due to overcrowding. While most self-talk among adults is typically silent, speaking aloud to oneself also falls within this category. In fact, psychologists suggest that our initial experiences with self-talk as children are predominantly vocal, as young ones often speak aloud while engaging in play. In the 1930s, Russian psychologist Lev Vygotsky proposed that this type of speech played a crucial role in child development. By reenacting conversations they've had with adults, children practice managing their behavior and emotions independently.

As individuals grow older, this outward self-talk tends to become internalized, transforming into a private inner dialogue. We understand that this internal self-talk holds significance and can aid in planning, navigating challenging situations, and providing motivation throughout the day. However, studying self-talk presents challenges, as it relies on subjects consciously tracking a spontaneous behavior often done without conscious control. For this reason, scientists are still working to answer fundamental questions, such as why some individuals engage in self-talk more than others, which brain regions are activated during self-talk, and how this activation differs from regular conversation.

One undeniable fact is that the content of our self-talk can have tangible effects on our attitudes and performance. Engaging in instructional or motivational self-talk has been shown to enhance focus, boost self-esteem, and assist in handling everyday tasks. For instance, a study involving collegiate tennis players revealed that incorporating instructional self-talk during practice improved their concentration and accuracy. Similarly, just as conversing with a friend can help alleviate stress, speaking directly to oneself may aid in emotional regulation.

Distanced self-talk occurs when we address ourselves as if in conversation with another person. Instead of saying, "I'm going to crush this exam," we might think, "Caleb, you are well-prepared for this test!" Research indicates that this form of self-talk is particularly beneficial in reducing stress during anxiety-inducing tasks like meeting new people or public speaking.

While positive self-talk can be empowering, negative self-talk can be detrimental. While occasional self-criticism is common, frequent or excessively negative self-talk can become toxic. High levels of negative self-talk often predict anxiety in both children and adults. Those who habitually blame themselves for their problems and ruminate over such situations tend to experience more intense feelings of depression.

Today, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a psychological treatment approach that addresses the regulation of self-talk tone. Cognitive behavioral therapists often teach strategies to identify negative thought patterns and replace them with neutral or more compassionate reflections. Over time, these techniques can contribute to improved mental health.

So, the next time you find yourself engaging in self-talk, remember to be kind to yourself. That inner voice is a companion you will be conversing with for many years to come.

Henrik Leandro