Talking to yourself

Upon waking up to the blaring sound of your morning alarm, you find yourself questioning why you set it so early. As you go about your morning routine, the thought of needing a haircut crosses your mind, prompting you to consider the possibility. However, as you rush out the front door, you realize that your keys are nowhere to be found. Frustration takes over, leading you to exclaim that you can't seem to do anything right, only to notice your neighbor nearby. It's natural to feel embarrassed when caught talking to yourself, as some people associate this behavior with mental instability.

However, extensive research in psychology spanning several decades has shown that talking to oneself is completely normal. In fact, most, if not all, individuals engage in some form of self-talk on a daily basis. So, why do we talk to ourselves? And does the content of our self-talk matter? Self-talk refers to the internal narration that occurs within our minds, often referred to as inner speech. It is distinct from mental imagery or recalling factual information. Psychologists specifically define self-talk as verbalized thoughts directed towards oneself or aspects of one's life.

This encompasses personal conversations such as reminding oneself to work on improving their free throw. It also includes the reflections and thoughts that occur throughout the day, like deciding to postpone a gym session due to it being crowded. While most self-talk in adults tends to be silent, speaking out loud to oneself also falls within this category.

Psychologists assert that our initial encounters with self-talk primarily involve speaking out loud, especially when children engage in self-conversation while playing. Lev Vygotsky, a Russian psychologist in the 1930s, proposed that this type of speech played a crucial role in development. By reenacting conversations they have had with adults, children practice managing their own behaviors and emotions.

As individuals mature, this external self-talk tends to transform into an internalized, private inner dialogue. We recognize the significance of this internal self-talk, as it aids in planning, navigating challenging situations, and even providing motivation throughout the day. However, studying self-talk presents challenges. It relies on research participants consciously monitoring a spontaneous behavior that is often performed without conscious control.

Due to this difficulty, scientists are still striving to answer fundamental questions about self-talk. Why do some individuals engage in self-talk more frequently than others? Which areas of the brain are activated during self-talk? And how does this activation differ from regular conversation? Nonetheless, one thing is certain: the content of these conversations can genuinely impact one's attitude and performance.

Engaging in instructional or motivational self-talk has been proven to enhance focus, boost self-esteem, and assist in accomplishing everyday tasks. For instance, a study conducted on collegiate tennis players revealed that incorporating instructional self-talk during practice improved their concentration and accuracy. Just as conversing with a friend can alleviate stress, speaking directly to oneself may also aid in regulating emotions.

Distanced self-talk refers to the act of talking to oneself as if having a conversation with another person. Instead of saying, "I'm going to crush this exam," one might think, "Caleb, you are well-prepared for this test!" A study has shown that this type of self-talk is particularly beneficial in reducing stress when facing anxiety-inducing tasks like meeting new people or public speaking. However, while positive self-talk can be helpful, negative self-talk can be detrimental.

Many individuals criticize themselves from time to time, but when this behavior becomes too frequent or excessively negative, it can become toxic. High levels of negative self-talk often indicate anxiety in both children and adults. Those who constantly blame themselves for their problems and dwell on such situations typically experience more intense feelings of depression. Today, there is a psychological treatment known as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) that focuses, in part, on regulating the tone of self-talk. Cognitive behavioral therapists often teach strategies to identify patterns of negative thoughts and replace them with neutral or more compassionate reflections. Over time, these techniques can enhance one's mental well-being. So, the next time you find yourself engaging in self-conversation, remember to be kind to yourself.