taking inventory

The reason behind this story.

Sometimes we just need a push.

Sometimes, there are moments where you are forced to assess your life, especially...particular...journeys.

Goodness, this is harder than I thought it was going to be.

I've never been shy about talking about aspects my self-love journey and honestly, I thought I was doing great. But this challenge has proven me wrong to be a much needed wake up call. I've spent so much time trying to love my body, curves and all, that I've neglected other parts of self-love.

I'm not saying this to beat myself up; doing that isn't going to help me. Let's call this a landmark in my journey, acknowledging my growth and where I need to approve.

When Rick first announced this challenge, I remember commenting how much easier it can be to tell others what you appreciate about them than it is for yourself. I don't remember a time where I haven't felt that way and sometimes, more so once I got older, I recall how annoyed I would be when I wrecked my brain for multiple things I liked about myself. Emphasis on multiple.

With that, plus giving myself an extra layer to the challenge (trying to talk about things I haven't talked about a lot or at all), and some health problems spiking up in the past week, this has been one of the harder and more fulfilling pieces I've worked on.

Before I start with my list, I want to say thank you to Rick, the judges, and Vocal for your part in my self-love journey. For a long time, I thought my self-love journey was cursed to remain on the plateau it's been stopped at for a while. Writing on here, along with making some big changes in my life, dragged me out of a dark place. Thank you!

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Ten Things I Appreciate About Myself

1. My blend of extrovert and introvert - I would say I'm 75% extroverted and 25% introverted. While I am most definitely a social butterfly, there are moments where I want to be alone. I think the thing I appreciate the most is I don't feel like I have to wait on people to be around to have a good time.

2. My true laugh - It's loud and draws attention, but I am too happy to care. Whenever it comes out, it is a good indication for myself that I am comfortable and feel secure in the moment.

3. My winning streak against the sun - I have never been sunburnt, and thank goodness, because it looks like it sucks. On top of this, it doesn't take much outside time for me to tan.

4. I don't bruise easily - Thank goodness, because I was always running into things as a kid - that hasn't changed - thanks to my low perception awareness. I can only imagine how many times Child Protective Services would have been called otherwise.

5. I don't need makeup - Let me explain, I think makeup is beautiful and amazing and there are moments I wish I could wear it. I have sensory issues and when I did try to wear makeup one time, it kind of drove me a little crazy, and I had to wipe it off. But it's okay, because I've never felt like I needed it, not even to cover up the bags under my eyes. Plus, one less expense!

6. In my book, repetition does not equal boredom - There are times I find myself hyper-focused on watching a show or listening to a song, etc, and I don't get bored with it. Of course, there's the occasional song that sounds like claws on the chalkboard every time I hear it. But usually, once I take a break, and hear it again, I'm fine.

7. I can laugh at myself in moments that could be considered embarrassing. - For example, there was this time my knees gave out - thanks genetics for them bad knees - and I went down like a pile of bricks. Don't worry I was fine, but all I could do is laugh and laugh, until tears rolled down my face. Hey, you could either laugh or be sad.

8. I'm a pretty fast reader - No, I'm not Spencer Reid fast, but I have read a 700 page book in less than 6 hours a few times. Don't ask me if I remember everything afterwards. Of course, it's a little harder for me to sit down and read for hours on end because of my busy schedule.

(Warning: I'm running out of words.)

9. I'm learning to be vulnerable with the right people.

10. My budgeting skills