Table for two

I didn't see her when I walked in from the parking lot on the side of the building, and I didn't see her either while I was standing in line, waiting for my turn to place my order at the counter. But as soon as I sat down at the empty table next to the window with my little numbered marker, my drink, and a few napkins I finally caught a glimpse of her obscure figure. She was alone, eating and smiling like she was enjoying her food. Nobody was bothering her and that was a surprise to me if I need to be honest while I tell you the story. Not that I want them to be rude, but I never saw something like that before, at least not where I live. This was the first week I was there and was still learning about the locals' "way of life".

Seeing her just enjoying lunch was unexpected but refreshingly new to me. Although there was an umbrella on her table, she chose to sit right under the sun, and I could see that she was enjoying that too. I started to feel envy for how happy she looked, in contrast to how I was feeling at that moment. That morning had been chaos since it started, and even though I don't usually go for lunch at noon, today was a necessity for me to escape for a little while.

When the lady from the counter brought my food, I asked her if I could keep the tray at my table without telling her why. She smiled, agreed, and told me to have a nice day. Seeing no other way to do just that, I stood up, picked my items, and walked thru the exit door towards the tables outside.

She noticed me walking in her direction, but she didn't say anything or tried to move elsewhere. It was like she didn't care for me at all. And I can't blame her. She must be used to be ignored by everybody, so she probably chooses to ignore everyone in return. The weather outside was comfortable, with the Sun shining right on top, and the wind slowly blowing fresh from the East. The line going to the drive-thru was long enough to go around the corner and extend to the very last edge of the parking lot. I could see some people looking at me from their cars with an expression of doubt, maybe wondering about my intentions as I approached the table where she was still sitting down, eating in peace.

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A typical "hello!" was the first thing that came out of my mouth. She just smiled without saying a word, not because she was rude but rather because she just had a bite of her chicken sandwich right as I got closer to her table.

-"Do you mind If I sit here with you and share the Sunlight?" - Her hand made a smooth gesture like those I do when I tell people to go ahead of me at an all-way stop sign while driving, and that made me feel better knowing that she didn't mind me being there. I sat down and placed the tray right in from of me. That's when I noticed that she had three servings of fries and a couple of drinks in front of her. My first assumption was that somebody bought them for her. She had only one sandwich, but it was that one with everything on it.

I stayed silent for a few seconds, not sure how to start the conversation. By the looks of it, she was homeless but somehow looked healthy, or at least not as bad as some other people I saw before in other places. I assumed she was recently forced to live like that given how her face didn't show any signs of substance dependency or abuse. Her clothes were dirty, but she had a full attire on her, including tennis shoes and all.

She was looking at me, eating and smiling without saying a word, probably thinking what I was doing there with her. She took a couple of sips from one of her drinks and ate a couple of fries, and then asked for my name. I apologized and introduced myself, extending my hand across the table. She reached out and gave me a firm but friendly handshake in return. She told me her name and started asking me those typical questions one asks to a person you just meet, like where I was from, what I do for a living, if I had a family, and some others. And I gave her all the responses without hesitation. She also told me her name after I asked and started telling me a little more about her situation. I didn't ask too many questions but rather listened to her while she was telling me how she ended up in that place. She liked the town because the people were great and nice not only with her but also with anybody in the same situation. That gave me a sense of comfort knowing that at least she was not in danger living on the streets. She continued telling me about how she was attending college a few years back but got into a badly financial situation while trying to help some relatives with their money issues. She told me how she was forced to sell her place and move into a studio apartment that became too expensive after a while. She then told me how she started living off charity while spending the nights at a shelter that was run by a small church, now permanently closed.

One thing I noticed from the start was how she was telling me all of this without a hesitation on her voice, and how she maintained a little smile in her face between words and phrases. I could tell that she was not ashamed of what she was telling me. Not a bit. She was just narrating her life and what it had become. And I was not judging her at all. There was no reason for that.

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We kept talking while eating our respective food. I lost track of the time but honestly, I didn't want to go back to work. I was having one of the best days of my life now, enjoying the greatest of companies I ever had. She gave me one of her servings of fries and I gave her my serving of chocolate chips cookies in return. She said she usually tries not to eat too much sugary items for health reasons but accepted them anyway because it had been a while since she had any cookies at all. We talked until the sun went down and the line of cars in the drive thru almost disappeared entirely. I knew that I had to go back to the office and then to the hotel I was staying at. I started feeling bad as I knew I would have to say goodbye soon. It was one of those moments when you don't want it to end. And in this special case, not knowing what will be of her afterwards. I realize that after she told me her story and how she ended on the streets, and how the little Church closed a little way ago, she didn't say anything about her current living situation. Does she have a specific spot to sleep? Does she have a place to go? Will she be Ok if I try to help?

She probably read my mind - or I was too obvious with my expressions - and so she extended her hand again over the table and took mine while saying - "Don't you worry about me. I know you must leave, and I can assure you that I will be fine. So, you can go now if you want. I have no hurry leaving and may stay here for a little more before going back".

She didn't say where "back" was, though.

- "I have an idea..." - I said, while keeping my hand under her hand and smiled at her with the same expression of a kid thinking about jumping over the fence with his bike - "...what if..."

-"No. I am not going to your hotel with you" - she immediately said with the biggest smile I ever saw - "I'm not that type of girl. And besides, I am sure you are staying in one of those fancy places in this area. Don't want to put you in the spot with their security or Management walking by your side".

She honestly took me by surprise with that hilarious comment. Especially because that was exactly what I was thinking on doing. I had no clue how I could bring her inside without them noticing, but I was already thinking on all the available alternatives to do it. There were some entrances on the sides so there was no need to go thru the main lobby, but I was certain they will have those same doors always covered with security cameras. My mind was running out of options here.

- "Oh, my apologies. I was not trying to treat you as that type of girl, as you said. I am just thinking on how I could provide you with an opportunity to use the bathroom and shower, and to have a place to rest well, at least for a few days" -. I started to feel insecure on how my approach could be taken. Never did this before and had no clue on how to sell the idea to her. She probably noticed it too as she looked at me all serious this time.

- "What makes you think that I need help?" - that question took me unprepared. Her appearance? Perhaps, but now I was not that sure about anything else I could say. - "I'm fine. I can take care of myself. But I thank you for trying." - She smiled again and started getting her things from the table. She didn't have much: a keychain with a few little plastic figurines hanging from it, a small notebook and a pencil, and a black backpack probably filled with anything left from her past. She put the notebook and the pencil inside of the backpack and hook the keychain to the handler. I noticed a dark gray colored figure of a cat as one of the items hanging from it and asked what it was. She stopped smiling for a few seconds while looking at it, then sat down again and started playing with the little fella on her hands - "an old friend of mine made it for me when I was still in College, using one of those 3D printers. It's the image of a cat I had for many years, until he died. His name was Felix and was the most amazing cat to ever existed" - I could tell she was going thru memory lane now and her face was telling me how amazing her time with Felix probably was. I started asking questions about him. Maybe even more questions that I had asked about herself. And she told me about a few stories from several years on his life; how she found him stuck in the fence at her childhood home when he was probably just a month or so old; how he was with her all the time, playing with her hair; how she felt horrible when he passed away. You could tell how much she loved him just by the way she kept playing with the plastic figure, passing her fingers over its head and backside. She stayed silent for a moment before cleaning her eyes, notoriously moved.

- "I got another idea..." - I suddenly said, taking her from this special moment of remembrance for Felix.

- "I already told you. I am not that type of ..." -

- " I know. You told me that before. But listen to me for a second..." - She was not prepared to hear what I said after that, but taking in consideration how much and how hard she laughed after hearing my proposal, I am sure she did not "not" like my idea entirely after all. She helped me and gave me some good pointers to follow.

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It's always interesting to go shopping alone at a department store, that's a given. But oh boy, how more interesting it becomes when you are a man, and you are shopping at the Women section for any reason. The looks, the whispering, even the following. Shoes? yeah, that was easy. Tops and bottoms? weird but doable. Undergarments? That's when the discouragement started to feel heavy on my soul. But I had a mission and a plan, and the will to see both to an end.

I asked the clerk and fortunately she was considerate given the circumstances. I had to tell her a bit about my reasons, and none was beyond her ken. She chose some items for me and even prepared a list of products to look at the laundry aisle to buy, to provide the proper care for the delicate items on my cart. She even offered to go with me to the cash register so I would not be intimidated by any of the cashiers, but I told her a lie and say that I was going to be alright.

I put everything on my rental car and went back to the store, now walking towards the groceries section to buy food enough for two days. I wanted to buy more but was scolded immediately when I suggested it - "One weekend is fair for now but thank you for the offer" -. I found lots of those 'ready to eat' meals but stayed within my instructions and bought only four of them. Got water and sports drinks, fruit plates, and snacks. She was adamant on staying away from the candy section entirely, but I got myself a bag of mini chocolate bars.

Back at the little motel, she opened the door wearing the bath robe I gave her before - I always carry one with me when traveling, of course, but don't you dare to ask me why I had it in the car - and a towel covering her hair. The smell of cheap soap and shampoo was quite interesting, to say the least. Her smile was, in the other hand, amusing, lovely and charming, making me feel like I was in the presence of an Angel. She helped me bring the bags inside and started going through them in silence. When she took the undergarment items out, she gave me one of those looks where you can feel that your soul is being inspected for cracks. I said nothing and just stayed there, in front of her, smiling like a little kid that got caught eating cookies before dinner.

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Thanks to the project I was working on, I was able to come back every week for a good couple of months, and we always repeated the process of getting a room at the same motel, just for her, and just for the weekend as she firmly indicated to me the very first time we did it. The rest of the time? I assume she was going "back" to wherever "back" was. She never said and I never asked, out of respect to her silence. The rest of the days we tried to enjoy dinner together as much as possible, sitting down at a bench in the park, next to the little man-made lake filled with ducks. I talked with the motel's Manager, and he helped me taking care of her while she stayed there, making sure she had freshly washed bed sheets and towels, and keeping an eye for any fellas trying to give her a hard time. He suggested to move one of the outside security cameras closer for extra precaution, and I couldn't agree more. He was a nice person with both of us.

I can say, in all honesty, that this was the best work-related trip in my whole adult life.

But as with every single project I worked on before, this was also coming to an end, and that made me not sad, but worse, if that's even possible. I wasn't sure what we will be doing next. Or more precisely, what I was going to do.

- "You may not going to like it, but I have another idea..." - I said to her the Friday before the last week I was going to be there - "and if you indulge me with your time, I can explain what that is and my whole plan, If I can" -

- "Time is the one thing I have lots of it, so yeah. Go ahead, Mr. Crazy Ideas..." - I know she was making fun of me as she always did when we chat, but her smile while saying that made me feel important in some way.

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The following months after “the big change” were interesting to witness, to say the least. Getting her a small one-bedroom apartment was easy, as she didn’t ask for much – and she was adamant about it – and although it was in a “not that bad” area, I was always worried for her safety. But she showed me time and again how resourceful she was taking care of herself in the most random situations ever. I stopped asking after a few weeks, as she always told me that she was fine. I had to start believing on that.

Talking with HR at the office was a different story. They hesitate at first, but when they finally made an appointment to meet and talk with her, their insecurities went away. I always saw her being inexplicably secure when talking with somebody else, but still surprised me how professional she was talking about the job opening and her abilities to fill the position. I know that she attended college for some time before having to live as she was living, but her dominance during the interview was nothing out of normality for a person so young. They hired her on the spot. And she made sure to bring the best of her during the first days, to the point where everybody started to ask for her guidance in almost every situation they had at hand.

Talking about finances, we did an agreement from day one on how we will be handling that as she wanted to cut ties with me in a good way. She let me pay for rent, utilities, and groceries entirely for the first couple of months while she started a savings account, and then she started covering expenses little by little, depending on how her work schedule allowed her to get some over time pay. Once she was comfortable with her situation, she asked me to stop paying for her entirely. Five months later, she was fully independent from me, money wise.

The apartment was always clean as if she was expecting somebody to inspect it; her décor had a singular taste in terms of colors and shapes, but nothing out of ordinary. She liked old paintings and replicas of classics, that she somehow was always able to find at thrift stores around town. Her clothing was divided into two basic groups: one set explicitly selected for work, following all the guidance and points perfectly stated in the employee’s handbook provided to her after the hiring and onboarding process was completed. The second set was much like somebody living in the times of Woodstock. For me, it was like going to an outdoor festival every time I went to see her.

And this was something I never understood: I always tried to let her know when I was planning to pay her a visit so she would not be surprised or unprepared to have a visitor. But in a few times when I happened to be around the area and wanted to surprise her at the last minute, she was always like if she was expecting me. Fresh lemonade was ready in the fridge, simple but tasteful entrees served in the cutest plates I ever seen, her place shinning and tided up, and her smile radiant like the Sun was the first time we meet. We were always talking for a few hours sitting at her balcony, under the shadow of a gigantic tree and listening to the deafening sounds of what appeared to be thousands of birds. She told me that this was her favorite spot to spend the time after work, mostly reading a book.

We also had a rule that she established immediately right after I gave her the keys of the place: I was always welcome to visit, but not allowed to stay overnight. I never asked for a reason as I never needed one to understand her position, and she never had to enforce the rule on me either. I’m certain some will find this weird or maybe even unfair, but I have no fucks to give to somebody else’s opinion about it. We both loved and followed that rule to the letter.

We continue chatting until the streetlights started going on, still sitting at the balcony. She told me funny stories about the people at the office and I told her stories about some other trips I made in the last couple of months. She was relaxed as always, and I could tell that she was happy just by looking at the reflection of the light on her eyes. I liked the way everything turned, and especially how I could tell she was taking good care of herself. She told me that she started using the gym at the complex and the pool but only when there were not that many kids using it. Not because she didn’t like their presence, but rather because she wanted them to have it entirely for themselves. That’s how special she always was.

She was smiling while listening to the birds’ chants and turned her face towards me.

- “I’m not that type of girl…” – she said and started laughing like she did when I asked her to listen to me for a minute, back when I told her about my idea.

- “Yeah, I never thought you were” – I said back to her.

- “But maybe, you can think like one for a minute and suggest a motel around the area…” – she continued laughing as she was remembering how that conversation went along – “You got me good. I wasn’t expecting that” – she extended her hand, and I took it with mine, smiling back at her.

- “Well, as you can see now, it worked, didn’t it? – I said, laughing with her.

- “It did. That’s for sure” – She stood up and walked behind me, putting her arms on my shoulders while giving me a kiss on the top of my head – “And I thank you for all you have done. I promise I will do as you said and will pay it forward to somebody else, some day. You can count on that”.

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We stayed in contact for a very long time after that, but my visits were less frequent due to work and other personal situations that required my full attention. She continued telling me stories about work and how she was getting better positions year after year. Her economic situation was also better, but she stayed on the same one-bedroom apartment as she always said she loved hearing the birds outside. I never questioned that.

Now that I remember all of this as I tell the story, there is one thing that I just realize I never did, but I don’t feel bad or anything like that for not doing it, as she never mentioned it again.

I never asked, but I still wonder where the heck “back” was.

The end