Struggles and Strength: My Path Through Financial Hardship

As a single mother of two children, one with special needs, surviving the stormy seas of financial debt has been an ongoing battle that has involved a relentless trek through an endless maze of worry, anxiety, depression, and the crushing weight of pressure. This has been a continuous tale for eight months, characterized by feelings of being alone, growing debt, and a lack of support.

My journey began with the aim to provide the best life for my family, to take care of them personally, for us to eat the same meal everyday, to assist my youngest son with his Occupational and Speech therapy as he has Autism with ADHD, and guide my eldest son with his studies. I made the decision to bring them here in the United Arab Emirates, believing that my salary and income from a part-time job would be enough to cover all our needs. After their arrival, I invested in a small business for an additional income. Unfortunately, it didn't go as planned, it was a failure. This unexpected turn forced me to borrow money from friends, colleagues, relatives, private lenders, and credit cards, resulting in an ongoing struggle to repay debts.

However, as the months went on, my optimistic notion can no longer cover the unpleasant reality. My modest income was swiftly overshadowed by the weight of these growing debts, and it ended up being insufficient because of the regular deductions for the bank loan and salary advances. The financial web I had constructed started to suffocate me, making it impossible for me to pay for my son's therapy or, occasionally, even the most basic needs for my kids.

The situation came to its lowest point when, at midnight, we were evicted from our apartment because I was not able to pay the remaining 50 percent of the month’s rent.When I reached home from work, there was no more electricity and water. At that time, I didn't have even a single penny. Thankfully, a friend came to our aid and helped us get a temporary shelter for the night, giving me time to find a place to stay.

This crushing financial burden was more than just figures on a ledger; it was an emotional tornado that affected every part of my existence. Even the smallest pleasures were overshadowed by the anxiety of overdue invoices and mounting obligations. The need to support my family and my ongoing worry about how to make ends meet seemed like an endless burden.

Anxiety and panic attacks are brought on by regular threats that if I can't pay urgently I will be reported to the upper management of my company, legal actions, calling me names, and more. It's gotten to the point whenI felt like I can't face the world anymore. I kept all these to myself and cried in silence. But the fear, stress, and pressure dwells inside my heart and mind affecting my health.

The feeling of helplessness, humiliation, and overwhelming responsibility has increased with this financial storm. The emotional burden was unbearable. That guilt feeling inside every time I couldn't send my son for his important therapy sessions because I couldn't pay. The excruciating weight of worry on my shoulders was caused by my frustration of not being able to give my son the care he needed. Depression has been negatively impacting my daily activities. Every sunrise was accompanied by an unending cycle of guilt, worry, and helplessness.

Asking people I know for help has not brought me support, but condemnation and criticism. It has become difficult for me to explain to others why I'm not working properly or being mentally absent most of the time. It is very challenging to explain yourself to others as not everyone is willing to accommodate someone’s difficulty, avoiding what they perceive as drama.

Choosing to send my family back to the Philippines was a tough decision, weighed down by the pain of witnessing their suffering due to my mistakes and poor choices.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I watched my family pass through immigration at the airport, knowing I'd be left alone in a difficult state. At that moment, a mix of emotions overwhelmed me; while I felt a sense of relief that they would finally be back in our homeland, away from the problems I had caused, I was also hit hard by the realization that I'd be facing the challenges alone.

Struggling with depression, anxiety, and stress, I held on to prayer, hoping for a way out of this ordeal. My prayers were for an end to this struggle, to clear my debts, seek forgiveness from those I owe, and to regain my physical health. I yearned for a chance to build a better life for myself, my kids, and my mother.