Strangers are Strange

Strangers are strange, they can leave me feeling out of place and uncomfortable. Countless amount of times I’ve found my heart aching over the actions of strangers, now i know that that train of thought belonged to my adolescent perspective. Now, being able to watch the world, specifically the great U.S. of A, handle a pandemic that takes care for one another, I initially felt very let down by my peers. I watch the news, watch the people and I would see a lot of dim lights, which in turn dimmed my light. Gradually as the pandemic grew in chaos, more unwanted derailed thoughts were being shoved through my ears, Humanity really was shoveling me deep under the inconsiderate pile of human laziness.

So, what do I do? Feeling depressed and frustrated in frank just left me feeling depressed and frustrated, those are not my desired emotions. I realized I can’t see everything, right? Nobody can. So, what I’m seeing, getting furious and defeated by, is in some form a choice of mine, everywhere I go, I can choose what I look at in society, what I can give space to in my brain.

With this in my mind, when I worked up my courage to go grocery shopping, I tried not to let the empty toilet paper shelves ignite the devilish fire behind my eyes, I tried to not cry when two thirds of the food in all the grocery stores were gone. I ACTUALLY needed beans, I had to wait two months to see beans make it back on the shelve- as I’m sure you can imagine, it was not pleasant news to find out many of my neighbors in my direct community have boughten out the stores themselves. Love thy neighbor. Forgive and forget. Cross your fingers and hope to see Toilet paper somewhere soon.

I’m a hopeless empath, I try not to care for other’s as much as I do, but it’s useless. I sometimes rely on my peers to help keep my spirits up, I was sorely being let down. I realized as I let the mob of cruel actions consume me, that I myself was contributing. I wasn’t looking strangers in the eye, asking how they were. I wasn’t being the piece I was missing.

Still bubbling with anger from the slap in the face from society, I slowly tried to be a kinder person to the public; though it is a difficult task to step out of such an aggressive mindset. I started off just trying to acknowledge my fellow human, give them a friendly nod. I sure do miss that lower half of the face. I figured there’s no use in trying to break a smile, I’m in a mask, who can tell? So, nods and kind eye contact it is. It was funny, I realized, what I saw was directly my choice, I made the decision to lift my head a little higher, try to make a connection, and it works, all those people pissing me off.. this whole time, they’re only a small part of humanity. When I change what I’m willing to see, all of a sudden I feel so silly for wasting my time in anger. These people I’m seeing, I like these people. So, I could now start walking in the store with a little more purpose, a little more positivity.

One day, cruising the freezer lanes of Grocery Out, checking out my few options, I got into somebody’s way. I apologize, and I couldn’t believe it. This man, with his mask on, smiled at me. With his mask on, and I could tell! I felt so warm just seeing his eyes squeeze and the cheekbones rise, and I realized how much I missed smiling and being smiled at. I figured it useless with these masks, but this kind gentle man at the store, gave me exactly what I needed, a smile during times I thought smiles would go unknown.

I know, a smile could not seem like a big deal. Before the pandemic happened I loved smiling at strangers, sharing a happy moment with some other floating soul. When the mask became a part of my outfit, I didn’t try to have it adapt to me, but I let it oppress me socially. Without the smile in the freezer isle at Grocery Outlet I would still be giving blank stares, letting this piece of cloth convince me it’s not worth smiling anymore. Since that kind person at Grocery Outlet, I never miss a chance to share my positivity with those that pass me, and since the kind person at Grocery Outlet almost every person returns the small evidence of a smile. I realize the smile is more than just a mouth, lips and teeth. It’s a beautiful form of communication, a sure way to shoot a beam of positivity with a small gesture. It’s amazing, how much positivity radiates, it’s always worth finding the opportunity to be the light in the room, little do you know the seeds you plant.