Stop Chasing Goals. Do This Instead.

Let me be real with you for a second:

I used to chase goals like my life depended on it.

Every year started the same — a long list of what I had to do, had to be, had to prove.

And I was proud of that. Obsessed, even. I wore my busyness like a badge of honor. You know, that toxic little voice that whispers: “If you're not grinding, you're falling behind.”

Spoiler alert:

That mindset didn’t make me successful. It made me exhausted.

Anxious.

Detached from my own freaking life.

Have you ever been so focused on the finish line… that you completely missed the view?

The Goal Trap No One Warns You About

Here's the thing nobody talks about.

Goals are sexy. They're shiny. They're dopamine on paper.

We’re taught to dream big, hustle harder, and always — always — be chasing “the next thing.”

But here’s the gut punch:

I got the goals.

I ticked the boxes.

I hit milestones.

And still… I felt nothing.

Not relief. Not peace. Just… emptiness.

Like climbing a mountain only to find there’s nothing at the top but fog and another, bigger mountain behind it.

So I Did Something Radical (For Me Anyway)

I stopped chasing.

Stopped sprinting toward a “better” version of myself that I could never quite catch.

I slowed down — reluctantly at first — and started building systems instead.

Not glamorous. Not Instagrammable. But real.

A system is about who you are, not just what you want.

It’s not about saying “I want to get in shape.”

It’s about becoming someone who moves every day, who nourishes themselves, who values their body without punishing it.

It’s not “I want to write a book.”

It’s: “I’m a writer — so I write. Messy. Imperfect. Even when I’m tired.”

See the shift?

Identity > Outcome. Always.

Look, goals aren’t evil. I’m not saying never have them.

But chasing them like they’re the only measure of your worth? That’ll break you.

Here’s the truth that punched me in the face one day:

> You don’t rise to the level of your goals.

You fall to the level of your systems.

And trust me, I fell hard.

I kept chasing this invisible version of “successful me” without building habits that matched that vision.

So I burned out. Then I blamed myself for burning out.

Brilliant, right?

The Joy Is In the Doing (Even When It Sucks)

You know what’s wild?

Once I stopped obsessing over results… I started actually enjoying the process.

Not always. Some days still suck.

But the pressure faded. The guilt lifted. I stopped treating every setback like a personal failure.

I started writing because I wanted to, not because I “had to meet a deadline.”

I worked out because it cleared my head, not because I needed abs to prove something.

I woke up excited, not panicked.

That's not just a productivity shift. That’s a soul shift.

Let Me Ask You This

What if you stopped asking:

“What do I want to achieve?”

…and started asking:

“Who do I want to be?”

It changes everything.

Because once you focus on being, the results come as a byproduct.

They sneak up on you in the best way — quietly, without fanfare, while you're busy living.

Here’s What Helped Me Break the Cycle

1. Tiny Habits, Every Day

Forget the big leaps. Build microscopic wins. Drink water. Move. Write 100 words. Breathe.

2. Detach From the Outcome

Do the thing because you love it. Or because you believe in it. Not just because it "gets results."

3. Track Alignment, Not Achievement

End your day asking: “Did I act like the person I want to become?” If yes, you’re already winning.

4. Celebrate The Boring Stuff

Doing the right thing — even when it’s boring, unglamorous, or hard — is the real flex.

Final Thought: You’re Not Broken

If you're exhausted, it doesn’t mean you’re lazy.

If you're stuck, it doesn’t mean you’re weak.

It just means you’ve been chasing the wrong thing, maybe for too long.

The truth is, your worth isn’t hidden behind your next milestone.

It’s in the way you show up today. Right now. When no one’s watching.

That version of you? They deserve love. Not just when they win.

Always.

If This Hit You Somewhere Deep…

You’re not alone in this.

If you’ve been stuck in the cycle of always needing to do more, be more, prove more —

breathe.

And if this message helped you in even the smallest way…

👇👇👇

Share it.

Send it to a friend who needs to hear this.

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Let’s stop chasing a life we think we should live…

And start building one that actually feels like ours.

🖤 Thanks for being here.