Spring

It is time once again to spring into action. The message is first delivered in the changing wind. Am I prepared? Although I am certainly a warm weather person and spring does keep me somewhat giddy with anticipation for summer, the season also blossoms with anxiety…in my core. Maybe blossom isn’t the right word, as the anxiety arrives with more of a jolt to the system.

Here in the U.S., we are forced to “spring ahead” our clocks even before spring arrives on our calendar. And it happens in the wee hours of a Monday morning! The older I get, the more Daylight Savings seems to affect me. Don’t worry, this isn’t going to take on the tone of a grumpy old man. I’m just stating the unfortunate fact that it does take my nervous system a little bit longer to recover from this unfortunate start to a work week.

Having kids have added to the anxiety I feel in relation to this antiquated clock changing business, particularly the one that happens around spring. I know what some of you are thinking, kids generally tend to add to one’s overall anxiety level, but let me just stress that it is especially felt in the “spring forward” changing of the clocks. My two kids are still young and it’s one beautiful thing to add an hour to their formative schedule, and quite the adverse effect when taking one away.

Daylight Savings in the fall means young kids are technically going to bed an hour later and waking up at their usual time. No harm no foul. Daylight Savings in the spring means there is no way to get to your little ones to bed an hour earlier - short of manual labor that would violate any child protection laws in this country – while they are sure to make their scheduled 6am wakeup call regardless…which is now 5am! This makes for an unreasonable, in the literal sense of their underdeveloped brains, start to a week that seems to last for several. It’s weird, wacky science. All the parents out there know what I’m talking about.

So that is the smack I now receive from the current hand of anxiety that lets me know that spring is on its way. Prior to having kids, I would say that my anxiety did take a more blossoming approach in regards to the spring season. To quote the musical poet Pete Seeger, “How do I know my youth is all spent? My get up and go has got up and went”. Man, I’m really losing the argument that I’m not a grumpy old man. What I mean is that my adult self does not generally like to spring to action.

I am not motivated to get up off the couch and start doing anything by anyone other than myself. Not that it’s not easy for me to be motivated to get out there and start doing, I just need to be the one in charge. My wife, on the other hand, likes to take the “spring cleaning” cliché as sudden inspiration to busy in and around the house like a crazy person. Earth’s axis has never been a motivating factor for me to hit a different gear. I’m sure there are a lot of psychological factors based on my upbringing that come into play here, but there is no reason to dive into that. The important thing to know is that I don’t want to be told at the onset of spring each year that I should clean my nest. Anxiety.

It’s not just the spring cleaning. There’s also unspoken rules or norms to exercise more, or to always take the kids outdoors somewhere, anywhere. There is an ever-present pressure to leave the house when coming off so many winter days spent inside. “Get out there and enjoy the sunshine why don’t you”? If you stay at home when the sun is shining there is a stigma around depression. Although it may be true that too many said days indoors could carry a red flag of mental illness, what about those that always just feel happiest at home?

It’s a balancing act that I am aware of. I understand that a required amount of time outside with a beautiful day is necessary and healthy in more ways than one, but once again I want to be in charge of my own schedule. I know that sounds selfish coming from a parent but I’m just being honest. Please note that due to my responsibilities as a parent, I make sure to leave my comfort zone the vast majority of the time when the sun is shining. My brutal honesty here is just to let you know that this causes more…you guessed it, anxiety.

Age is making me more of a homebody, and I don’t think there’s anything grumpy about that. “There is no place like home sweet home” is an adage – or two, or possibly a Motley Crue song - that I am connecting more with each trip around the sun. So what practice, habit, or hack can I share with others? Admittedly, there’s probably not a lot of people who get anxiety for similar reasons around springtime, I’m sure I’m in the minority here, but I think what I do have to say on the very specific subject can help a larger number of people who experience any level of anxiety.

There’s no trick really, I think it’s as simple as being honest with yourself. Come face to face with that anxiety. For me, I know I can’t pretend it’s not there and scream “you’re not the boss of me” at my wife. Recognize that anxiety is present and understand that it doesn’t have to have sensible reasoning behind it, especially in the eyes of others. That doesn’t make it any less real. It will be there regardless, and cause a bit of havoc if it isn’t addressed.

Age can also teach you some pretty valuable life lessons. Always be honest with yourself and own all of your insecurities and faults could be the biggest one it has taught me. There is no better way to reduce, or cope with, the havoc your faults can bring. Own it, all of them.

To bring it back to my specific example, when spring comes around I now recognize that a heightened level of anxiety will be right there with it. I address it full on. I get the old room in my head ready for my familiar friend, shake hands upon arrival, and lead the way to the comfy digs. That way we can work together.

When the snow starts to melt and the birds begin to sing, gentle, kind reminders take the place of panic. “Don’t forget, you love warm weather”. “There’s no better source of vitamin D”. “Swimming is magical”. “Shorts are nice”. “Look at all the new cycles of life around you”. Such reminders radiate from my soul and now play on repeat in my head without command. Age, and spring, really can be a beautiful thing for all.

Let that blossom…and full spring ahead!