Social Media Ego vs Social Media Soul

We live in an age where almost everyone wants to be an ‘influencer’. And even for those of us who don’t want to be influencers, we can still curate our feeds in a desire to only ‘show up’ as our supposed best selves, because in the digital world, we control how we appear to others. It’s human nature to want to present our best sides, but it’s easy to let this go too far, obsessing over followers and likes.

It plays to our social media ego, focusing on numbers and celebrity status. It can place the ego in control and let it get out of hand. It’s often about beauty, status, wealth and appearing to ‘have it all’.

Because of this, when we get on social media, there is a tendency for us to act differently because of our need for recognition. Our ego can take over.

EGO: a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance.

The part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious and is responsible for reality-testing and a sense of personal identity.

Our ego is having a FREAKIN’ field day when it comes to social media. Social Media for a New Age is in part about recognising when our social media ego is getting out of control and how to shift it into a better balance and connect with our social media soul.

Social media ego: wants big follower numbers, doesn’t care who they are; wants to look and feel popular, successful, and important.

Social media soul: wants connection, community, engagement with like-minded people, to make true friends, meet clients you can support, and serve others with your knowledge and skills.

Keep in mind the ego isn’t bad; it is there to protect and help us form our sense of identity. But it can get out of balance, particularly in an environment like social media, which plays to the ego, through gamification and addictive design. So when we bear witness to both sides, it’s easier for us to get back into balance.

Another way to look at whether we are operating from our ego vs our soul is to look at the concepts of linking and ranking.

Ranking is about how we’re perceived. It’s the more competitive, achievement-based aspect — how many likes you’ve got, how many followers you’ve got, etc. And yep, you guessed, ranking is what happens when ego is in charge.

Here are some examples of posting from ego/ranking:

Obsessing over engagement, follower numbers, likes, and how your posts are received

Getting upset over comparing yourself to others with higher engagement/followers

Apologising for not posting

Only posting professionally taken/filtered photos so you look ‘perfect’.

It’s easy to get caught up in the games — the comparison game, the recognition game, the popularity game — and these serve to feed the social media ego, all the while starving the social media soul.

Whereas linking is where we connect and create bonds with others, form deeper levels of communication and start to build relationships. Linking is what we want to do when we are operating from our social media soul.

If it seems like your social media ego has been leading the way, here are a few ways to bring your social media soul back to the forefront:

Creating committed time and space for connection. Reaching out and making contact, leaving comments and direct messages. Putting time in to connect more deeply with each other, strengthening bonds and building relationships, rather than just leaving a like here or there.

Sending more voice notes. This is a way to speak from your social media soul, as voice messages are more spontaneous and unedited — and therefore, more meaningful — rather than letting your social media ego agonise over composing and editing the ‘perfect’ written message.

Collaborating and Co-Creating. Connecting with people in your field or people you’re drawn to and asking if they want to collaborate. Visit people’s profiles.

Reaching out to people you admire, rather than getting caught in comparison or competition. I met the most amazing lady, Doreen Dodgen-Magee, through social media. We both work with similar concepts, but there was never a feeling of competition — ego didn’t get in the way. It was purely about wanting to connect with one another over a shared interest.

Once you practice these, you will then be able to spot if you are coming from your soul, using linking rather than ranking.

Because you are…

Happy to let a post go out into the ether and do its thing

Trusting a post will be seen by the people who need to

Not having a need for validation through engagement to feel content

Appreciating likes, comments, and follows gracefully and feeling the love whenever they appear.

When you’re coming from your soul, social media becomes a free-flowing exchange of energy and ideas once more, so take the time to check in with yourself any time you get online. Feel into your heart and let your soul lead the way.