Social Fashion

Hindsight is 20/20, yet as 2020 is in our hindsight it seems no clearer than murky marsh water after summer rain. Another decade, a fresh perspective, a new era of self love and acceptance and big goals turning into actions and a crystal clear reality of living out your dreams. Comparing daydreams to reality and our flaws to other people's highlight reels. Tuning into mass media every day to be exhausted by simply sitting there and consuming the tar-like smoke of the fire created by those who thrive off of panic and selling antidepressants.

Whole nations have been silenced. Our expression through fashion has been isolated to our own mirrors, and our beautiful faces have been covered by disposable pieces of cotton that turn the lush, green tapestry of our forests into emotionless dumps. Suddenly, staying healthy became dangerous as gyms closed down and police patrolled the streets for people who were unwilling to become imprisoned in their own homes. I've always dreamed of watching the creation of monumental history, yet the creation of mass panic and a demolished economy was not what I had in mind. The story of 2020 will sit in many hearts as living through a never-ending nightmare, and the words "pandemic" and "disease" will pull up many memories that people would rather forget.

Just like any story, in the years to come the story of 2020 will be rewritten to become a symbol of strength and resilience. It will be a status symbol to have lived through this time and have not only survived but also thrived. After all, history is only written by those who have made it far enough to hold the pen.

Starting my first business in this time, I'm convinced that they'd be right. Where others found melancholy I found opportunity. When people gave up I saw the immense lack of competition as motivation to keep going. I found that frustration creates innovation, and that in the darkest problems there were ponds full of blooming night lilies of fresh perspectives and possibilities.

When I was growing up, I read many stories of people who came from nothing and struggled through their early lives, only to allow the experience of this struggle to manifest into undeniable greatness and abundance. I had always believed it was fashionable at the time, to have overcome hardship in the face of adversity and returned leading the wolf pack. I also began to believe that since I had everything I ever wanted in life, I would never be able to follow any fashion trends. In reality, it is very easy to spin my story to one of a desperate past - my parents were immigrants and my family battled borderline poverty since before emigrating to another country. I always learned to eat my food because there was none outside of what was on the table. A great deal of my clothes were hand-me-downs, and getting new ones from a second-hand store was a splurge. I always thought we were too poor to be able to afford things that seemed to be a daily occurrence for others - such as Oreos and running shoes. Looking back, I can definitely see how that reality could be attributed to many protagonists and characters.

It is important to understand however, that this reality wasn't real - it's a construct that hindsight has given me of a painful past - which wasn't that at all. Growing up, I was probably the happiest kid you would ever meet. I had short blonde hair that stuck up at different angles in all my school photos, a smile that stretched a mile wide and crazy eyes that now make even me question if I was ready to hug you or eat you. I never felt like I had missed out on any part of my life, and I had definitely never even considered that I was below anybody else for not having the things they had. Although my hand-me-down clothes definitely didn't allow for a bold fashion statement, I always wore the brightest ones I could find anyways.

Looking back at 2020 reminds me of the fashion to have a rough past - it is fashionable to complain about the economy, about how tough your life is and about how bad you feel, all while blaming others for your troubles and never even considering looking to yourself. For a time in my life I also blamed others for all my problems - for not becoming a professional athlete, for giving up on my dreams, and for being completely clueless about my future. The verdict? I absolutely hated every second of every day, and I couldn't do anything about anything.

Looking back at 2020, I wouldn't blame a single person for what happened to me because I decided that my life was entirely mine to control. I wouldn't blame anybody for the fact that I chose to get up out of bed every morning with a smile on my face. I wouldn't blame anybody for the fact that I chose to find creative ways to keep moving - including going for a 5km run even when it's -5 degrees Celsius outside. I wouldn't blame anybody for the fact that I chose to use all my newfound free time to do the things I never had time to do - like start a food blog on Instagram that reached over 3000 followers over the span of a month. I definitely wouldn't blame anybody for the amazing boyfriend that I found, and I wouldn't blame them for all the hard work we chose to put in just to be able to spend time together over the past year. As you can tell, each one of these things has a common theme - I chose to do them all. Just like I chose to see all the shining, driven, hungry eyes that peeked out over the masked faces around me, and that propelled me to push myself to my limits this year.

Although my clothes are designer and I have developed a fashion sense that compels my friends to ask me for advice, I can definitely say that this past year has been critical in allowing me to free myself from social fashion. I no longer feel obligated to focus on the negatives in my life, and to live every day in fear of what is going to come next. I am not bound to social norms that say that a woman has to dress and talk and carry herself a certain way, or that I have to act like an engineer, an athlete, an influencer, a cook, or like just one of the thousands of other things that make me - me.

Isolation has become an absolute gift, permitting me to split myself from negative people and to indulge my creativity in finding ways to stay connected with those that I love. I have been able to remove the doubts and validations of others when it comes to trying new things, or keeping up old habits that made me different from everybody else. I even updated my wardrobe - walking my dog has become a routine outing where the sidewalk is my runway and the whispering of the tree leaves in the wind is the gentle cheer of the universe as I discover myself completely.

Fashion has become many things in our society - clothing, self expression, social trends, and freedom, among many other definitions. There is such a broad definition of fashion, and yet every time I think of 2020 fashion the first thing that comes to my mind are the ironic snapchat filters of 2019 that placed animal ears and a mask over your face - allowing you to virtually test drive what your look would be in 2020 even though none of us knew it yet.

Your reflection being your only audience is definitely disheartening - especially when you've spent a good chunk of your savings preparing to completely change your image this year. On the other hand, I would give that up any day (or any year for that matter) for the online reform that has been forced to happen to every school around the world, the ocean clean up that has happened during the first round of quarantine, the (completely overwhelming) amount of family time we've all had this past year, and the amount of reflection we have all been able to do on our lives.

It might be fashionable to say that 2020 was a complete garbage fire - after all, some guy did start a garbage fire channel where he threw in all things 2020 and watched them burn - and yet I refuse to adhere to that social norm and ignore all the good that's happened around the world. Taking control of every part of my life this past year, I really can say that maybe I needed to take off my designer glasses and change the prescription. Hindsight really is 2020, and looking back in my rearview mirror I see an incredible world of possibilities that we've just come out of. That said, I'd rather look through the windshield at the new year we've come into, where I can take the concrete slabs of foundations that I've poured last year, and build marvelous skyscrapers on top of them now that I know they're strong enough.