Six Toxic People To Avoid in Your Life

You know who I'm talking about. Toxic people are the ones that expect more, but never give in return. Toxic people are the ones that are quick to blame, calling it constructive criticism, but can't take it in return. Toxic people bruise your soul and make you feel like you need to nap - for a month.

It's important to be able to recognize toxic people so you can either eliminate them or keep them on the sidelines of your life. If you don't, you may find yourself constantly feeling drained of both physical and mental energy.

Here are six toxic people to watch out for:

#1 The Talker

We all like to talk. We all like to talk about ourselves and what we are doing, our dreams, our goals. But The Talker only wants to talk about themselves. They don't give you a chance to get a word in edgewise and barely stop to take a breath between sentences. If you do get a chance to say something, whatever you say will remind them of something similar that has happened to them, and they will quickly interject with their own experience.

#2 The Ruler

They have rules for everything. And not just for themselves, but for the people in their lives. They think that being their friend means following their rules. Because they don't like a particular person, you aren't allowed to like them either. If you try to do an activity that they don't do, they will try to convince you that you should come and do something they like with them. If they follow a certain diet, they will nag at you if you choose to eat food in front of them that doesn't follow that diet. Following their rules can be exhausting. But you don't have to. They can only apply those rules to themselves. Remind them of that.

#3 The Emotional Vampire

This is not the person you want to be around when you have good news or are excited about a new project. They will come up with every negative possibility under the sun. Just started dating someone new? Don't introduce the two of them because The Emotional Vampire will suck every ounce of joy you felt about being with this person right out of you until you no longer want to be with your new dating partner. The Emotional Vampire has forgotten how to feel joy and they want you to forget, too.

#4 The Drama Llama

It's not their fault that drama seems to be attracted to them. But it is their fault how they deal with it. Drama comes and goes in all of our lives. But The Drama Llama needs to make sure that everyone knows about the drama in their life - whether it belongs solely to them or it belongs to other people as well. And if you're friends with a Drama Llama, you need to understand that if you have shared drama, they will not hesitate to out you in the drama, even if you prefer to keep your drama to yourself.

#5 The Not-a-Liar

We all know what a lie is. Most people will make a conscious effort not to lie about important things. But The Not-a-Liar will go to great efforts to avoid telling lies by simply not talking about important issues. You may ask them what they did today and if they did something they don't want you to know about they'll say, "Not much," and then quickly turn the conversation towards you. In their eyes, they aren't lying. But sometimes things you don't say or communicate can be just as toxic as lying.

#6 The Silencer

The silencer doesn't like to talk. Communication is hard for them for whatever reason, and they will avoid having important conversations at all costs. They can be mad, upset, or sad about something that happened between the two of you, but they will never talk about it. In fact, they may go all out and simply avoid you so that they don't have to feel pressured to talk. Most people know that avoiding hurt and anger doesn't make the problem go away. But they just don't have the tools to deal with it.

#7 The Gossip

This person simply can't resist sharing something juicy that they were just told. One of the reasons they do it is because they are insecure and they feel like having the inside scoop on what's going on makes them more likeable. Sometimes they have no idea how hurtful they are being. It doesn't matter if they were told not to say anything. They don't know how to interact with people outside of gossip. It's important to remember that as entertaining as they can be, they will share everything you've said to them just as quickly as they shared information about other people.

How to Deal With Them

The two most important things you need to remember are:

1. How you feel matters
2. You can't change them

People may try to tell you that you are being selfish or remind you that they have depression or another mental health disorder. You are not being selfish and the latter may be true but unless you are married to them or related to them or gave birth to them you aren't responsible for them. Even if you are connected to them in a tangible way that can't be changed, you can only claim so much responsibility. When it comes right down to it, they are the only ones that can be held responsible for getting help or making positive changes in their life.

If you don't have long-term connection to the toxic person in your life, start by telling them how you feel. If that doesn't change anything, it's time to start taking care of yourself. Spend less time with them. React less. Gradually ease them out of your life.

If removing yourself from their lives isn't possible (we can't change jobs because of one toxic person) you can keep them on the sidelines. Avoid being around them for long periods. Prepare yourself ahead of time mentally, reminding yourself that their problem is not your problem. Bring another friend with a great attitude to buffer the situation. Put them on the sidelines.