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Should You Return Your Ex’s Clothes or Toss Them? Here’s What Really Matters

Discover the emotional, practical, and empowering sides of giving your ex’s stuff back—and what it really says about you.

By Milan MilicPublished 10 months ago 4 min read

Should You Return Your Ex’s Clothes or Toss Them? Here’s the Real Deal

Let's be honest—breakups are muddled. One diminutive you're snuggled up binge-watching Netflix, sharing curiously large hoodies and interior jokes, and the other... you're standing before a heap of your ex's dress, pondering, “What the hell do I indeed do with all this?” Do you give them back? Keep them? Burn them in a ritualistic bonfire with your besties?

On the off chance that you've ever gazed at your ex's hoodie with a blend of wistfulness and seethe, this post is for you. We're jumping into the passionate rollercoaster of post-breakup logistics—specifically, what to do together with your ex's stuff and what your choice says approximately you.

Let's disentangle it all, one hoodie at a time.

Why This Question Hits So Hard

This isn't close to a couple of shirts or a phone charger. Nope. It's way more profound than that. Returning your ex's belongings—especially clothes—can feel like reviving the passionate wound you've been frantically attempting to speed back up.

Clothes carry memories. That hoodie you stole because it smelled like him. That shirt he left behind after your weekend trip. They're like emotional bookmarks you never asked for.

So naturally, deciding what to do with them feels symbolic.It's not about laundry—it’s about letting go, setting boundaries, and moving on. And let’s not sugarcoat it: that ain’t always easy.

The Case for Giving the Clothes Back

Alright, let’s start with the cleanest (and most mature) option—returning the clothes.

1. It’s a Respectful Closure

Returning their things can feel like tying a bow after the relationship.It's like saying, “Thanks for the memories, but I'm moving on now.” Simple, clean, no drama. And if you’re looking to close the chapter with grace, this move might just be your mic drop moment.

2. You Don’t Need the Extra Emotional Baggage

Let's be real—keeping their stuff around fair makes it harder to move on. It's like clearing out a browser tab open on a location you know you should've left days prior. If you're attempting to recuperate, giving their stuff back can assist you in decluttering—physically and sincerely.

3. They Might Want Their Stuff

Some people genuinely want their favorite hoodie or that expensive perfume back. Returning it saves future awkward texts like, “Hey, do you still have my red sweater?” Nobody wants to entertain ghost-of-boyfriend-past vibes.

But Hold On—Here’s When You Might Not Want to Give It Back

Not everything needs to go back, especially if...

1. They Ghosted or Were Toxic

If your ex was manipulative, abusive, or vanished like a magician in a breakup disappearing act, you owe them nothing. Their things are not your burden. Your safety and peace come first—always. If returning their stuff puts you in a vulnerable spot emotionally or physically, skip it.

2. You Genuinely Like the Item (and It Was Left Behind)

Listen, if they left a hoodie and it’s been six months with no word, that hoodie might as well have a forwarding address with your name on it. There’s no need to overthink. That’s not baggage—it’s your cozy new nightwear.

3. You’ve Already Cut Contact and Don’t Want to Reopen It

Sometimes no contact is sacred. If returning the clothes risks dragging you back into a situation you’ve finally escaped, it’s okay to toss, donate, or stash your stuff in a box and pretend it never existed.

Options Beyond Returning: What You Can Do

Let’s talk about alternatives. Because it’s not always black and white—return or burn. There’s a whole in-between that might just be the sweet spot.

1. Donate It

Donate if the item doesn’t hold sentimental value but is in good shape. Think of it as emotionally recycling. You’re turning that memory into something good for someone else. Karma points = earned.

2. Box It Up and Store It (For Now)

Would you still be on the fence? No pressure. Put it all in a box, label it “EX FILES,” and stash it away. Out of sight, out of mind—at least until you’ve had time to process. Your future self will thank you.

3. Create a Letting-Go Ritual

Sound woo-woo? Maybe. But rituals work. Light a candle, write a goodbye letter (no, you don’t have to send it), toss the clothes in a donation bin, or have a symbolic bonfire night with friends. Closure doesn’t always come from them—it comes from you.

The Emotional Side: What Your Choice Says About You

Here’s where things get juicy. The choice you make says a lot—not about them, but about you.

  • Returning the clothes? You’re seeking closure and emotional maturity.

  • Donating or tossing them? You’re prioritizing your peace and mental well-being.

  • Holding on to a few pieces? You’re honoring what was without being held hostage by it.

None of these are “wrong.” What matters is your why. Don’t decide out of guilt or pressure. Do it for you.

Let’s Get Practical: How to Return Stuff Without the Drama

If you’ve decided to give it all back, keep it drama-free and clean. Here’s how:

  • No Face-to-Face Required: You can leave the bag with a mutual friend or drop it at their door. No need for a final dramatic scene.

  • Don’t Include a Love Letter: This is not your chance to rekindle or rehash.

  • Set a Clear Boundary: “Hey, I’m dropping off your stuff. Wishing you the best. Take care." That’s it. Simple. Clean. Done.

Final Thoughts: You’re Not Defined by the Hoodie

Look, breakups suck. They just do. But what you choose to do with your ex’s clothes doesn’t define you—it reflects your healing process. Whether you return, donate, repurpose, or toss, the goal is to move forward.

Remember: It’s not about the hoodie. It’s about the emotional weight attached to it. And releasing that weight? That’s freedom.

So, the next time you look at that shirt on your chair or that cologne on your shelf, ask yourself: Do I need this to hold on—or am I ready to let go?

Either way, you've got this.

Let go with love

#BreakupAdvice #LettingGo #RelationshipClosure #HealingJourney #MoveOnStrong #ToxicRelationships #EmotionalHealing #PostBreakupLife #ExBoyfriendProblems #SelfLoveFirst #MovingOnTips #BreakupSupport #HeartbreakHelp #RelationshipBoundaries #NoContactRule

advicebreakupsfact or fictionhow tofriendship

About the Creator

Milan Milic

Hi, I’m Milan. I write about love, fear, money, and everything in between — wherever inspiration goes. My brain doesn’t stick to one genre.

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