Shhhhhh!!!!!

You are walking down a busy street and talking on the phone. You aren't being reasonably loud but again you are on a busy street. But in this moment you are sharply Shhhhh'd. There's no right or wrong answer in how to react. The Shhh is anonymous. There's probably a pause to determine if you really just got Shhhh'd. Some may take the Shhh in stride, literally. But it's around this point that this begins. We're dealing with a Shhhh'er here. Dorian was a public Shhhh’er.  When people walked outside of his Koreatown apartment if they were being loud, whether walking or talking, Dorian would shhh them. It was an annonymous shhh. If anything it was an experiment. But it was a Shhhh. Dorian had been shushhhing for years.    Dorian began Shhhh’ing his Senior year of college. He went to a liberal arts school. It was a school with green lawns. It was a school where you could find individuals who looked like Dorian in the pamphlets but rarely on campus.    Drunken crowds passed by Dorian’s window on Thursday nights his senior year. Dorian did homework on Thursday nights.    One Thursday Dorian was focused on his studies. He was systematically procrastinating as drunken crowds passed. Dorian heard the sounds. He stood up in a near trance. Without thinking he walked to his window and shhhh’d a drunken group walking past.   The Shhhh was followed by a hush.   Maybe there was a giggle. But after the moment passed the group continued walking. The group whispered to one another as they walked onward. Dorian stood at his window unseen. He assessed the moment. He kept doing it. He set patterns of Shhh’ing outside of his dormitory window.    Not only did he shhhh at night, but he shhh'd during the day. He shhhh'd people on speaker phone. He shhhh'd people conversing. He Shhhh'd arguments. He shhhh’d those who yelled. He Shhhh’d annoying people. He got good at Shhh’ing. He always made sure to time his Shhhh’s. He crouched at his window. He had a form. He wasn’t obvious.   One night he waited for the climax of a couple breaking up. For three minutes, they had argued out on the street. Three minutes is a lifetime when eavesdropping a breakup, especially at a college campus outside of dormitory windows, especially outside of Dorian’s window.   Dorian Shhhh'd between the two individuals. It was in their most vulnerable moment. The sound hung in the air. The hhh’s in the Shhh were felt. The sharpness grounded them back in a cold world where they were scared of their futures. In a world where the two individuals were able to forge a compromiseable bond that they would chase in partners for years to come.  The shhhh may have saved their relationship in that moment. Dorian hadn’t shhhh’ed for that reason though. He shhhh’d, because he could. He had no motive. It was a privilege.    He once caught himself aggressively Shhhh'ing a girl who hadn't said anything outside his window one day. Without looking, she ran away terrified.   Dorian moved to Los Angeles after graduating. He moved to the edge of Koreatown near Larchmont. He didn’t have a car his first years. He worked working class jobs. He shhh’ed people on busses, subways, in supermarkets, parking lots and bathroom stalls. He shhh’d people in unsuspected places, turning corners. He matured into a timely shhh’er; a free range Shhh’er. A Shhh’er with taste. This was the real world and he was a real Shhh’er.   He got to the point where he didn’t think about his Shhh’s. He was never caught. Sometimes he was suspected. But he was anonymous. It took a coworker at Trader Joes three months of suspecting someone on the staff for Shhh’ing to catch onto him. Dorian Shhh’d about 1.2 times per shift.   One night Dorian shhhh'd a masculine man when on the balcony of his apartment. The man waited five minutes to find who had shhh'd him. At first Dorian hid to remain anonymous. Dorian waited on his belly, hiding on his balcony. He then sat up to show his face only for the man to shout from the street for Dorian to come down.    Dorian wasn’t phased. Dorian kept watching Netflix on his balcony. Dorian was just annoyed. He preferred to be private about his Shhh’ing. He wasn’t anonymous in this situation. Dorian would have taught the guy a lesson for teaching Dorian a lesson. But Dorian didn't go down there. It might further blow Dorian’s cover. Besides Dorian wasn’t that brave.   It was a Sunday morning when Dorian opened his window hungover. The sound of an aerobics class could be heard. The woman was shouting at eight in the morning. The woman yelled to her class and to the world. Dorian did as he did. He wound up and Shhhhh'd. It was loud enough to be heard from wherever the woman’s voice was originating. He didn't think much of it.   There was probably a quiet moment the first time Dorian Shhh’d the aerobics instructor across the street.  But a moment later the instructor raised her voice continuing the class. The instructor shouted louder as if she heard the shhh.  On tempo the instructor shouted. On tempo Dorian Shhhh’ed.  Both sides raised in volume. Both remained consistent. For twenty minutes a clash occurred. Shhhh’ing and hyped up Aerobics class.    Shhhh’es were often. A cataclysmic virus changed the world. Dorian was home more often and so was the individual he was Shhhh’ing. Shhhh’es occurred during the workweek and the weekend.   There were points where Dorian went out of town to visit a friend or went to San Diego. There were points where the shouting voice mysteriously disappeared. Shhh’es were the loudest after periods where one or the other were gone. There was a stabilizing equilibrium that could only be met on days when either party returned to their apartment.   Neighbors took notice.    Above Dorian was a local who walked dogs and had grown up in the Koreatown apartment complex. His neighbor stopped him one day as Dorian walked into the apartment. Dorian and his soulful neighbor had shared casual beers throughout the years. A lot was going on in the world. A lot that had to do with Dorian as a black man. Dorian’s neighbor felt he knew it was Dorian Shhh’ing. His neighbor didn’t know how to capture the act of these white bodies taking space in the neighborhood he grew up in. But Dorian had captured the essence in not only a word but an act; a Shhhhh. Dorian’s neighbor supported him.    Dorian hadn’t Shhh’d for a purpose. He wasn’t politically motivated. Dorian probably would be more sexually active if he was more politically motivated. To be honest Dorian wasn’t even annoyed. It didn’t affect his daily readings, the aerobics calls. Dorian could close his window if he wanted too, and sometimes he did. Dorian wasn’t Shhhing because he was mad. He was Shhh’ing because it was something to do.    Dorian didn’t tell this to his neighbor though. He let his neighbor talk. They talked for thirty minutes. Dorian felt the man’s support for the given causes they discussed. Dorian liked his neighbors dogs too. He had always liked his neighbor's furry dogs. Even though it was good to talk to his neighbor Dorian made sure to tell his neighbor that he was not the Shhh’er.  Dorian was cautious as his neighbor walked away. Maybe Dorian was not as anonymous as he thought he was.   When Dorian went to his car one day a woman in Yoga pants hurriedly approached him. Dorian tried to run to his car but she got to him. He was scared, or just startled.   She asked where the nearest laundromat was. She must have been new to the neighborhood. Dorian let her know where to go and got in his car afterward. Was it the instructor? Was she tracking Dorian? Dorian looked all directions cautiously before pulling out of the parallel parking spot. It was when Dorian was backing out that he noticed in the passenger's seat, there was a little black book. Dorian opened the first page of the book. It merely said to look up. Dorian closed the book and drove to the store as he planned. Dorian saw his dog walking neighbor the next week. This time his neighbor had his younger baby cousin with him who also lived above Dorian’s apartment.   Things were escalating apparently. Rumors were spreading that a Shhh’er was trying to silence a woman’s voice. It had been reported and discussed in neighborhood watch emails.. His neighbor assured Dorian not to panic that he supported him. The neighbor had spread the narrative that the Shhh’er was actually trying to fight the powers of gentrification and that Shhh’er was encouraging a safe space. His neighbor put in virtual forums that those listening to the Shhh’s should take notice and a moment of silence for the Shhhh.   Dorian’s neighbor assured Dorian that he had his back. Dorian felt his neighbor may have been missing a point raised by the neighborhood watch email but, the neighbor's baby nephew who lived with him as well stood with him as they spoke. The neighbor explained that his nephew was a fan of the Shhh’er. He was seven years old.   Dorian alluded that he appreciated the conversation but that he was not the Shhh’er and that he never said he was the Shhh’er. Dorian’s neighbor however lived directly above Dorian. In some ways Dorian and his neighbor could hear more of each other than their other housemates.    His neighbor thought it was noble. He knew it was Dorian Shhhing. Dorian knew that he knew.    The neighbor was impressed. What humility Dorian had. A fan of graphic novels and comic culture, for the neighbor felt as if he had seen a super hero without a mask. Dorian a Shhhh’er in his room and a mere citizen on the streets. The neighbor's nephew nodded as well. The child was honored to potentially have met his hero.    Dorian felt it was silly. He honestly wasn’t ready for fame. He wondered what others thought. Did others have a more mature response? This was Shhhh’ing after all. Dorian didn’t want to talk to others though.   Immune to political culture influencing him Dorian continued Shhhh’ing. It was as if Dorian were in a trance when he was Shhh’ing. These days he was shhh’ing without thinking. His friends said it was a bad habit. One morning Dorian awoke. He did as he did in the morning. Something felt off though. There’s a sixth sense when someone can feel an individual watching him. He went to his window and on the fourth floor across the street someone stood at their window.   Dorian took a step back. It seemed like a woman was looking at him. Dorian put his socks on. He walked back to the window and checked tentatively. Sure enough the figure was still there. Dorian remembered the little black book from his car. He checked the first page. It still said: Look up. Dorian surprisingly hadn’t looked closely at the book yet. Dorian flipped to the next page. The book said to look under his bed. Dorian checked under his bed. There was another little black book. When Dorian opened the book it had wads of money on each page. Dorian stepped to his window. He stared up at the women and she stared back.   They were far enough to not see one another’s faces, but close enough to know they were looking at one another. They both knew. Dorian slowly opened his window. He Shhhhh’d. She remained at her window staring. A second later, she began to yell her workout routine. But Dorian notices something else. There was a sign on a window across the street. It said to obey the Shhh. Then another sign said to not silence a woman’s voice.  This was only the beginning.