Semicolon savior VI

The tears began to fill up in my eyes, and when I blinked they all came rushing down my cheeks. How could this be? He seemed so content with this life, but who was I to know considering our few and brief encounters. It seemed a sacreligious act to commit inside the temple walls, however that was also his home. The corner light being on popped into my head just then. I recalled thinking to myself as I was passing by in the alley “well this is odd, no lights are ever on at this hour of the morning.” He had been in there and I shivered at the thought that he may have still been alive at that moment, watching me walk into work none the wiser. Immediately I began packing up my favorite lemon cake and making air pots of coffee. Food, when people are grieving you bring food. As I gathered our gifts, I looked back at Gage, shrugging he gave a sweet smile and motioned “just go.” I had never met anyone else associated with the temple, and a lot of people were standing out front. More were pulling up, walking hand over mouth to the nearest group gathered. People were crying and the police and ambulance were still parked out front. “Ummm, this is for you all” I mumbled to the nearest young man. “We are from the cafe on the corner, and we are so sorry for your loss.”

When I returned to the cafe, I walked into a packed house. Lawyers and the Sheriff were sitting drinking coffee, the five military men had the usual corner occupied and locals were following in right behind me. “Getting busy in here,” smiled D one of the men in uniform. “I ordered my usual so you could practice that fancy foam art.” I was starting not to feel good, but just assumed it was residual energy from the events of the morning and started steaming milk. I noticed Gage kept glancing at me and I felt my heart fill up some knowing he was worried about me. I loved him so much and gave him the “I’m ok” face. So many words between us were understood and never spoken.

I was relieved when it hit 3:00 and my time to leave had arrived. “You going to be ok babe?” Gage asked obviously concerned pulling me into his chest. I held back the tears and held him for a moment nodding my head yes. “Won’t be too long and I’ll be right behind you.”

Picking Rae up from Mrs. J’s brought the joy out of hiding and pushed sadness aside. She was my ray of sunshine and as she giggled walking to the car, I whispered in her ear while sneaking up behind her, “who wants to go to the park?!” We had the elementary school playground along with a community park the next street over from our house. From the time she was born in a stroller to now on her toddler bike, we had taken this walk together. She was now getting brave enough to climb the tall stairs up to the slide, even though I still hovered closely behind her. How amazing it was being her mom and watching her grow I thought, and I felt myself connecting even more with the universe and simplicity around me.

I spent the rest of the evening on the deck. Gage and I had Tool radio on and the firefly tails just started to flicker. “I think I am going to paint that” looking up at the almost full moon. I had found a perfectly flattened circle rock and the smiling face above shouted at me with inspiration. Getting up from my chair I leaned over to Gage. I can’t believe we are doing this again as I laughed while rubbing my belly. I hadn’t started showing much since it was still early in our pregnancy, but it seemed the correct thing to do while carrying a child. Gage smiled, kissing me gently, “I know, you would think we had learned the first couple times” he said while winking and patting my behind. I scrunched my nose and turned inside to retrieve my paint supplies. Gage had already pulled his phone out and was listening to the newest talk show on government corruption when I came back out. “Can you believe this!” “The military are doing live action practice in suburban neighborhoods.” Gages voice sounded irritated and concerned all rolled up together. “They also mentioned some helm thing and I know I have heard those men in the shop talking about the same thing.” His desire for knowledge and to stay in the know was his way of protecting our family. I appreciated his efforts because this sort of thing gave me anxiety. I could barely even watch the evening news without getting all worked up. I liked to be in my safe bubble and would happily have stayed their if he didn’t stress the importance of being aware. He reminded me of my father and grandpa talking about voting and the significance of certain events they lived through. “I don’t want to put my head in the sand Gage, but this all seems so far fetched to me.” “Like a show that has been written for entertaining the masses.” “This is no show Victoria, he said a bit more sternly” “We have to pay attention, for our kids sake.” He always knew how to reach me, so I sank more comfy in the patio cushion, listening and painting.