Seasons of Love

For My Husband,

My darling, you came to me like a spring awakening at a time I had all but given up on love. I had tried to find my own love, to make a love of the unlikely connections I made, but none pollenated to fruitful ends. The moment I stopped searching, ready to quit, you smiled at me outside that tired train station and it felt like an April shower, the flood of the promise to come nourished my once barren pastures.

You found me, collected my pieces gently, careful of my fragile, jagged edges and, with your sun-soft demeanour, whispered a trembling 'I love you' over a shaky phone line, igniting a fire in my heart allowing the cracks to heal, reinforced and gilded with gold, erupting with light. I thank the fates for everyday I get to wake up, sleepy eyed and see you curled up dreaming next to me, my peace, my haven.

The spring of my adult life hasn’t been kind, yet every time the world around me would erupt in sudden hail, stinging my skin from every angle…you were always there. My personal stoic solace, a canopy to shelter me from the barrage, offering protection and safety to ride out the tempest. At my father's passing, through the tides of black-clad mourners, you extended me a hand and a quiet nod with tears in your eyes. I'll never forget your face that day, it made a silence of the chaos and gave me hope.

When the storms calmed but the dark clouds lingered in my mind's horizons, shrouding all hope that they would ever cease, your silly singing of made up lyrics to the songs you'd play was a blazing sun eviscerating the shadows with a joy like the first blossoms of spring.

Your sustaining rays have allowed me to blossom, to grow strong and proud. You’ve prized open my mind’s tightly furled petals and introduced me to new layers of love and appreciation, through your collection of vinyls you brought music to my life like a sweet resonating breeze. Oh, how we’ve danced, laughed and swayed to those songs, you and I, like the shimmering heat of a halcyon mirage.

In the Barcelona heat, atop mount Tibidabo, the setting sun blessed us as I asked for your hand. Despite neither of us being photo-ready, summer's orange and gold draped the rocky façades like a curtain around the amphitheatre of the city below and as you said 'I do' and tears filled our eyes, the cool evening air caressed us, a witness to our promises. You've never looked so beautiful to me.

Your kisses have burned me tenderly, leaving me intoxicated like drinking honeyed summer wine. Your tentative touches a searing thorn of the sweetest July rose, your embrace the nectar of the Gods, my heart a goblet of ambrosia. We’ve spent many a midsummer lazing the day away together in the tractor park with the dog, the sun's heat a gentle spark compared to our smiling hearts.

Perfection is a thing as fleeting as greenery turning to gold as the winds change, and our union has had breezes from every compass point. However, we have worked on perfection and made it ours, a tapestry of the leaves that have fallen, a backdrop to the evergreens that frame our vista for tomorrow.

The autumn brings with it change and I thank you daily for your resilience and willingness to adapt and regrow each year anew. We celebrated the culmination of our bond as the leaves began to change, my favourite time of year, the same as when we first met. The humid autumn storms hint to our first kiss by that park, as lightning weaved a web of light above us, the heaven's applause. This has always been my sign that you came along to change me and that we were destined to cycle through life together, growing stronger each year like a tree stretching up to reach the stars, ignoring the bitter cold that creeps in with life’s approaching final breaths.

When the winter of our lives reaches us, I’ll be thankful to call you my hearth, my home, where I renew the warmth in my hands and my heart. Even if the blizzard beats ferociously at my door, threatening to close around me and extinguish the burning heart you’ve given me, I shan’t fear it’s frostbitten kiss as long as I have your hand in mine, reminding me of the life of love we’d shared.

Winter comes for us all, but I beg the Gods old and new to come for me before you. Gratitude on my lips, I will smile at them as they pick me up like you once did and ask them to watch over you and protect me like you have.

So, my love, although it’s not much, I leave you with this only: my heart completely…eternally yours,

H.