Save Your Marriage from Divorce

We’ve all heard the nightmare stories—a husband says he’s unhappy, his wife has no idea, and he files for divorce.

Or even worse, a couple gets a nasty shock when they file their taxes together and discover that they owe thousands in unpaid taxes because they didn’t file jointly.

If you’re facing either of these situations, you may be convinced that your marriage is over and there’s nothing you can do about it.

However, there are many ways to stop a divorce in its tracks, as long as you know what to look out for.

Secret #1 - Talk about it with your spouse

When you and your spouse have issues, it can be tempting to bury your head in the sand and hope that things will blow over.

The truth is, if you’re having trouble with one another, then you need to talk about it.

It might not seem like it at first, but talking about your feelings without blaming or shaming each other can go a long way toward resolving conflicts.

Without communication, there can never be any resolution.

Secret #2 - Focus on the kids

This is one of those situations where it’s crucial that you think with your head and not with your heart.

It’s easy to believe that children are probably better off growing up with two parents, but that’s rarely what they want or need.

Letting kids have input into significant family decisions has made them feel uncomfortable, anxious, and less competent.

Talk with your ex-spouse about who will do what after your divorce; try having a neutral third party help facilitate these conversations for you if need be.

Secret #3 - Put up a united front with your spouse

When you realize things aren’t going as planned, sit down with your spouse and figure out what went wrong.

Sometimes it is as simple as one person doing too much or not enough work on their marriage.

Set up some basic ground rules that you both need to agree upon (that will lead to more harmonious living) and commit yourselves to see them through.

Agree that each of you will hold each other accountable for any failures, but also forgive each other if either party has a slip-up once in a while.

If your spouse is open-minded and willing, ask them if they are eager to participate in marriage counseling; many couples have been able to save their marriages after just one session of therapy with an experienced counselor.

Secret #4 - Accept blame where appropriate

If you’re getting divorced, the chances are that it’s at least partially your fault.

If your husband or wife left you for someone else or filed first, you can probably blame yourself.

But even if they’re cheating on you, it might be partially your fault - after all, did they find their other half at work because you were always out of town?

Please do what you can to accept blame where appropriate, and don’t point fingers when it doesn’t help.

Doing so will help make divorce easier on everyone involved – especially your children - and hopefully prevent conflict down the road when money is being split up or critical decisions are being made.

Secret #5 - Don’t Let Your Heart Get Too Heavy

As much as you may love your soon-to-be ex, you’re only going to hurt yourself by giving too much time and thought to what could have been.

You’ve worked hard for your life and don’t want your divorce derailing it. So keep moving forward: Focus on what you’re going to do next!

Do something fun that makes you feel amazing; seek out new hobbies or activities; enjoy yourself by having regular mini-dates with friends or family members.

If you focus on keeping yourself happy, you’ll be better able to cope with your impending divorce.

If there’s one thing we know about happiness, it helps us deal with change. And when our hearts are heavy, we can’t help but sink into sadness.

But if we’re feeling good about ourselves and our lives, we tend to bounce back more quickly from hardship.

So find ways to make yourself happy—it will help in more ways than one!

Secret #6 - Never stop communicating

Research has found that after just four months of being separated, most couples fall into what’s known as emotional divorce, meaning they’ve stopped speaking and are no longer fighting over problems.

This can be challenging for your marriage since you’ve pulled back emotionally.

It’s easy to start seeing your partner as an obstacle instead of someone you’re still invested in.

The best way to prevent emotional divorce is by never giving up on communicating - even if it takes months or years before things begin turning around.

Emotional disconnection is only natural when a couple is going through such emotional trauma, but fighting through it (even if it feels like things aren’t changing) will benefit you significantly later on.

Secret #7 - Be proactive and take care of yourself!

If you find yourself involved in an unhealthy or toxic relationship, you need to move on.

Take care of yourself and prioritize your needs.

You might be looking for your soon-to-be-ex at fault, but it takes two people to make or break a relationship.

If you’re consistently putting others first, neglecting your own needs, and leaving relationships as quickly as they start, it’s time to get honest with yourself and make some changes.

Whether that means ending things with your partner or seeking professional help is up to you—but stop blaming everyone else for keeping you stuck!