Rumours of the rink

They were taking a break while Lillian pulled Will outside. Talking to him about god knows what. Actually Asra knew what, Lillian just hadn’t told them yet so they weren’t going to pry. This was their first actual private ice time. The coaches wanted to save some money so they figured pushing the three together would be a good idea. However they had been training hard for a few hours so Asra was setting up their phone.

“What are you doing?” James asked from across the ice where he was placing Jasper back down.

“Oh probably filming a tiktok.”

“Come here.”

They waved over at James. They already filmed a tik tok with Jasper during warm up. Jasper motioned first James to go, he sighed and headed over. When he stopped he bumped into Asra.

“Stop it.” Asra hit the timer and just stood there and smiled.

“Where’s the audio?”

He was used to filming them with Jasper, usually dances or challenges. He leaned in closer to see if it was just really quiet. When there wasn’t any sound he stood up straight again.

“You want me to be funny for you.” He tried to talk to Asra but they just stayed silent. “Okay.”

He pushed Asras head, knocking them out of frame. Getting up they dusted off the ice slush. They tried to push him back but when they did James had their phone in his hand.

“Wait no! Give it back.”

Jasper rolled their eyes and went back to doing jumps. James stayed close to the edge, he didn’t want to get in her way at all. Lillian and Will came back. Stopping when they saw Asra yelling at James to give their phone back. James posted the video with the caption ‘that backfired didn’t it.’

“Hey! Back to work.” Lillian called out to Asra and James out their phone in his pocket.

“Better get back to work before your ice mom gets mad.”

They grumbled a bit before skating away from him. Working on their jumps again, Asra watched the other two. They could see their phone in his pocket. They wanted it back but they didn’t want Lillian to yell at them.

“James, give Asras phone back.” Will didn’t even look up from his own phone. Who knows what he was doing but he was busy. “Now.”

It was quiet for a second before Will spoke again.

“Don’t throw it.”

“You're no fun.”

He dropped the phone into their hands. They took it and were about to push him but Lillian was calling Asra to the edge of the ice. They knew Lillian was going to tell when what was going on.

“What’s up?” They took the skate guards when she handed them over.

“We should talk outside.”

“What why?”

“Asra.”

She said in a warning tone, Asra had always been one to get defensive and aggressive. Lillian was trying to help them reverse that. However it was just a part of their personality. They glanced back at James and Jasper, they already knew. Following Lillian out, Asra hates little one on one talks like this.

“I have to tell you something.” She paused and was waiting for Asra's full attention. She could tell they were too in their head about it. “It’s nothing bad.”

“Well when you say we should talk outside I find that hard to believe.”

She just smiled at Asra. She was hoping they would catch on. But of course they didn’t. Asra squinted a little and gave her a look like ‘I’m waiting’ but Lillian still stayed silent. It had been literal years of physical therapy for her hip. She wasn’t doing the physical therapy to compete again. She just wanted to be able to skate with Will on some down time. Lillian waved around her hand.

“You're hopeless you know that.”

“Can you just tell me.”

“I got the go ahead from my doctor to do jumps again.”

“What!” Asra screamed and they got quiet. “You can do jumps?”

“Well you know nothing aggressive. She said definitely no triples or anything. I still have to take it easy but I can do it.”

Asra hugged Lillian, holding their coach tightly. They knew exactly what it meant. Lillian laughed a little as she hugged back.

“So I was thinking, tomorrow night Will booked the rink for an hour. Maybe you’d like to come watch us skate one of our old routines?”

They were on the brink of tears. They honestly thought it was going to be something bad. Sure they had seen Will and Lillian skate around together and just goof off and have fun. But seeing their old routines, that was something Asra was convinced they’d never see again.

“Oh Asra. Don’t cry.”

She held their face, using her thumbs to wipe away the tears that were already going. Asra didn’t cry in front of anyone. But Lillian was different.

“I’m not crying.”

“Of course you're not.” She smiled and pulled Asra in again for a hug. “But ya know. I was such an amazing skater I would totally get it if you cried over my sick talent.”

“Shut up!” Asra laughed but kept hugging Lillian.

It was hard for Asra to focus after that, it may be stupid how excited they were over it. But they knew how much Lillian loved skating. Being allowed to do jumps again after so long was huge. After practice Asra was in their car with Oliver and Jasper. Lillian and Will were practicing jumps in the evening tonight so they could perform for their ice children tomorrow night.

“Are you sure we should be drinking these?” Jasper asked as they were holding the cup. “I know Will lets me eat some junk food but milk shakes?”

“Shh. Just drink it.” Oliver leaned into the front seat to flick her forehead. “A big thing happened and this is how Asra and I cope.”

Asra was oddly quiet. This was a big good thing, not bad. But this was the only thing they could think of.

“She’s going to skate.”

“She is.” Oliver nodded to Asras statement. “And she’s going to do a jump.”

“Jasper do you remember when we first watched Lillian and Will?” They would have asked Oliver too, but they know Oliver remembered.when Jasper nodded they kept talking. “I don’t know why, I can’t explain it but like she was just this amazing ball of light. And she waved at us while she was practicing.”

“We were still little juniors. Weren’t we like nine?” Oliver asked but Asra shook their head.

“We were ten. Because I spent two years watching them before her accident.”

“I remember we watched them do a throw, and you were so starstruck. You couldn’t take your eyes off them.” Jasper smiled, only sipping the milkshake a few times. They didn’t like chocolate that much. “I told you I wanted to do that one day and you said you did too.”

“Yeah but Lillian doesn’t want me skating pairs.”

Oliver looked at Asra like they were crazy. “No. She said to focus on this season. Then you can discuss pair skating.”

“Yeah just have to win gold at nationals before I can pair skate. Totally doable.”

“Attitudes like that is why people don’t win gold.”

Oliver flinched back when Asra moved to grab his shirt. Asra yelled a little telling Oliver to say that to their face. Of course Oliver responded with that he did.

“I’ll kill you.”

“No you won’t Lillian will be sad.”

“Okay no killing please? I don’t want to be a witness of murder.”

Jasper reached into the back to help pull Oliver’s shirt from Asras hand. Asra huffed and day forward again.

“What’s gotten into you?” Oliver asked. “It’s like you're on edge. Like all the time.”

“I’m not on edge, you're on edge.” They shook their head before looking out the window. They knew Oliver and Jasper would ask again. Those two knew them better than that. So they came up with something to say, it was true but it wasn’t the reason they were so defensive lately. “My mom wants me to go to college to get a degree.”

“I thought you wanted to become a coach.” Jasper sat up more in her seat. “aren’t you already studying for a degree.”

“My mom said if I don’t place at nationals she wants me to focus more on school. If I don’t place she says I wasted my time and her money.”

“Your mom is unbelievable.” Oliver shook his head and crossed his arms. He didn’t like Asra's mom, he made that obvious.

“Your mom is a bitch.” Jasper said unapologetically. They’re time in Japan desensitized them to things like this, they always spoke their mind now. “What?”

Jasper looked at those two. They were staring at her like she was being rude, she was. Asra knew their mom was a lot to deal with but no one had ever said that so openly about her.

“Your right.” Asra said it quietly. “But if I don’t place I could just be wasting my time.”

“No you're not. You have years of training, remember when we first wanted to get into skating and your mom said you had to commit to this. It wasn’t just some fun hobby. It was a lifetime commitment? Look at you now. 18 years old and you're a hell of a skater. I don’t care what she says about you, she’s wrong. You're not wasting any time. You're living your dreams. I get it, she wants you to have a back up plan. But giving up more of your training to get a degree isn’t going to be Fulfilling. You're going to spend the rest of your life working some 9-5 job, wishing you stayed doing what you love. So I said it, your mom is a bitch because she’s pushing her life onto you. She thinks you’ll just quit like she did. She’s a bitch for wanting to take away your dream Because she thinks you're not good enough.”

Jasper took a deep breath after they were done. Looking at Asra the Oliver.

“Yeah what Jasper said. Don’t give up your dream to please someone who will never be satisfied no matter what you do.”

“What am I supposed to say to her.” Asra sighed a bit. This really wasn’t what they wanted to be taking about but now that they were, they might as well get advice on how to handle it.

“Tell her you're going to place. And if you don’t you're going to try again next year.” Oliver told Asra and nodded. “Don’t give in to her.”

“Tell her that if you don’t place this year you still have 8 years before you hit 26. You have so much time to make a name for yourself.”

“Thanks guys.”

They nodded and after another hour in the car Asra started driving. Dropping Oliver back off to the rink so he could go home in his own car. They dropped Jasper off at Lillians house, but before they could drive away James was texting them. Telling them not to be late for tonight. They’d have to wait until 10 tonight Because will and Lillian would be there pretty late.

Pulling the laces tight on his skate. James was getting ready to go on the ice. It was 10:10 and Asra was late. He looked at his phone while he was waiting. Opening his conversation with Asra. There was no text, no explanation for why they were late. But there were a few texts from Jasper. Asking where he went. He forgot he promised to watch a movie with them tonight.

‘Sorry, I need to clear my head.’

He knew he shouldn’t have lied. Lying would just come back to bite him in the ass. Jasper knew when he was lying. He didn’t wait for a response. He turned off his phone. Hearing Asras skates guards tapping the floor.

“You're late.” He stood and stretched a bit.

“Sorry, I had to wait for mom to go to bed.”

“We only have an hour, so I want to try a throw.”

Asra dropped their bag. Like they couldn’t believe what he was saying. They just smiled at him before going to stretch so they didn’t pull anything. James went out into the ice. Holding his hand out for them when they were ready. Asra felt weird, taking his hand felt different tonight. They started off just by skating together, doing a few laps around the rink.

“We don’t have a harness.”

“I know.”

“What if I get hurt, how will I tell Lillian that?” They stopped.

“We’ve practiced off the ice for a while.”

“We did it for two hours yesterday.” they stared at him. “I'm not going to risk getting hurt just so we can practice a throw after hours. If I get hurt, Lillian is going to actually kill me.”

“I'm not going to let you fall.”

They stared at each other, they didn't break eye contact. Him saying that was clearly meaningful, it well known that if you were going to do pair skating there had to be this unbreakable trust. But this had a double meaning. Sure they admitted one thing they wanted to do together but they were clearly avoiding any actual feelings they had. Asra had only one boyfriend that they had gotten semi serious with while James and Jasper were gone. They had a great relationship for one year and then he ended up leaving and used the long distance as an excuse to break up with them. James liked Asra, more than whatever seemed to be going on. They both had a fear surrounding each other. Maybe it was because Jasper made it clear they didn't want those two getting involved. Or because each of them had their own fair share of trust issues and it seemed like a big jump to actually say they liked each other out loud. For now all they had was clear tension, both about the jump and what they talked about in James’ car. In the moment, James was promising not to let them fall. The way he said made Asras knees weak.

Pairs require trust, Asra wasn't planning on stealing James away from Jasper. They would never even try. But it was nice to have this trust with him.

“Fine.”

They started what they had practice off the ice, building up to it. Asra was scared, they had never done a throw before. They watched Colin and kelli execute it in practice nine of ten times and they looked flawless. Then on the other hand they had seen James and Jasper not be as perfect, while it looked impressive and when they did land a throw it was a great achievement. But this exact throw was once they practiced their first few days back. Nothing in figure skating was safe or easy, but the idea of being thrown into the air by your partner and falling day after day and having to do it in order to land it. Asra saw what Jaspers leg looked like after James dropped them three times in a row. But a throw was different than a lift, a lift there was someone to catch you if you fell. A throw, you had to rely on your partner to catch you.

Asra got too in their head about it, before James could actually even try to send them into the air they told him to stop. They sounded panicked and of course he was going to stop if Asra asked him too.

“What's wrong?”

They shook their heads and looked down. Putting their head into their head and trying to stop themselves from over thinking about it.

“How do pairs do it? I trust you. I do. But I have to rely on you to get back to the ice safety. I saw Jaspers fall that first week you guys were back. Their bruises are still healing.”

“It's not much different than when you're doing a single jump. It just has that extra flare because i have to throw you in the air.”

“So if i fall it won't hurt anymore than if i fall on my own?” Asra asked, then made a face. “Okay no i'm not scared of pain. I fell so many times on my knee when we were doing it off the ice. What if i hit my knee on the ice.”

“You won't.”

“How do you know that! You can't possibly know that. We only actually landed that throw two times. We did it well over sixty times.” putting their hands on their hips. “If i fuck up my knee i could be out for three months.”

“I'm not going to let anything happen to you.”

“I want to believe you.”

“Then believe me. I showed you how to fall out of the throw, so you know how to fall if you do. And I'm going to be right behind you.”

Asra tried to argue again but before they could even say anything he was holding their face in his hands. They didn't like how his gloved self against their cheeks but they couldn't really complain. He was kissing them after all and that felt long overdue. He wasn't sure if this would give the reassurance he was hoping. But he knew it would do something. Pulling away after a few seconds he smiled softly.

“I'm not going to let you hit the ice okay? And if you do, I'm going down with you.” smiling more when Asra just nodded a bit. “It's going to be okay.”

He kissed their cheek before he started up again, they were building up to the throw again. Of course they didn't get it on the first try. Asra fell but James kept to his promise, trying to grab their waist to stop them from hitting the ice so hard. He also lost his footing and they were on the ice together. Hovering above them he smiled again at them, Asra noticed he was always smiling when he looked at them.

“That wasn't so bad.”

“See i told you it was just like when you fall from a jump. It's really not that bad.”

“Maybe I’ll have to trust you more often.”

“That would be ideal, yes.” He got up and offered a hand.

They only did it for another forty minutes or so. Of course only having an hour didn’t stop them from taking advantage of an empty rink.

“So you kissed me.” Asra said as they picked up their back. Shoving their skates inside they heard James laugh.

“I did. We were both there.”

“Would you maybe want to do it again?”

That of course led to twenty minutes later where Asra was pushing James off of them when the door to the locker room opened. They were like deer caught in headlights. The bronze medallist was standing in the doorway. Diane could barely say anything.

“Oh sorry- I didn’t know anyone else was here.”

She dipped out of the locker room quickly. Trying to leave as soon as possible because walking in on people is always awkward. Asra looked at James.

“You should go after them.”

“Why?”

“She could tell Jasper and Lillian.” James looked at Asra like they weren’t thinking as fast tonight. They weren’t.

“Oh fuck.” Asra hopped off the counter and was struggling to get their t-shirt back on before they were running down the dark halls after her. “Diane, wait!”

“Oh no it’s okay. I’m sorry I honestly didn’t know other people were here.”

“Can you wait.”Asra will admit, she was pretty fast. Trying to catch up was an effort. They grabbed diane by the arm. “What are you even doing here?”

“Late night training.”

“The rink is closed.”

“You're here.”

“Right yeah.” They were breathing a bit heavily while trying to talk. “You can’t tell anyone.”

“What about you and James being here after hours?”

“Yes and about what we were doing.”

“Are you just here to make out in the locker room?” Diane was confused. “What are you doing here anyway. How did you even get in.”

“How did you get in?”

“My uncle owns the rink. Given I stole his key, and I’m not supposed to be here. He owns it.”

“Wait your uncle owns the rink? James has bribed your cousin to let us in?”

“So that’s where he’s been getting the extra money.” She looked like she were putting together the puzzle pieces. “Yeah no that’s how I got in. Why are you even here?”

“James is training me in pair skating.”

“In secret.”

“It’s a long story. Just please don’t tell anyone.”

Diane thought for a second. It would be a win win if they both didn’t tattle each other so she stuck out their hand.

“Only if you don’t tell my uncle I was in here.”

“Deal.”

Asra shook her hand and tried to forget about it the next day. They got home later than usual and slept in. Most of their training was off ice today, so when they finally did get to the rink it was purely for the ice time Willam had rented out.

“Hey.” Jasper nodded at Asra as they were putting on their skate guards. “Where have you been all day?”

“Off ice training. I hit my knee in my dresser and Lillian wanted me to take it easy.”

“Are you going to see the doctor after?”

“No it’s just a little sore.” They moved their leg around. “See I’m fine. Just a little bruise, nothing major.”

Jasper nodded a bit and hummed. They went back to take off their skates. Asra could tell something was wrong, sitting next to her they put their hands over hers. Stopping her from taking off her left skate.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing. It’s stupid.”

She tried to go back to just taking off her gear so she could be relaxed while watching Lillian and will skate. But Asra pushed it more.

“Talk to me.”

Jasper shrugged a little and kept her head down when talked.

“James completely blew me off last night.”

Asra felt their heart drop a bit, scared for a second that James lied to them about Jasper not having any feelings. They proceeded with caution.

“Did you guys have- like a date?”

“A date?” Looking up. Jasper was making a face. “Of course not no. I dunno we just had a long day of training and when we felt over worked we’d usually watch a movie. Just relax and make stupid cometary during horror movies. But he was gone by 10pm.”

“Oh weird.” That did make them feel any better. He blew them off for Asra, that was just as bad. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine he said he had to clear his head so maybe, he was just having a hard night. I wish he just told me instead of ignoring my texts all night.”

“He ignored you all night?”

“Yeah and then he went on his run alone again this morning.”

“Where is he?”

“Talking to some of the boys.” Looking around the rink they didn’t see the boys in sight. “Probably in the front corridor.”

“I’m going to be right back.” Asra got up. Leaving their purse with Jasper.

“Asra, where are you going? we're about to warm up.”

Lillian and Will weren’t wearing their old performance outfits. Asra didn’t expect them to, they were just dressed in athletic clothes but it was weird seeing Lillian in skates again.

“Nowhere just going to get Oliver and James.”

“Okay hurry back.”

They nodded before speed walking to find James. When he was in sight, Asra saw him standing with Oliver and the other male skaters. Stomping over they didn’t even stop. They just grabbed his arm and pulled him away from the other boys. James was trying to protest. Even Oliver asked where they were going but didn’t bother following.

“Couch down.”

“Why?”

“Do it.”

He didn’t question it much so he crouched down. Just for Asra to hit him upside the head.

“What the fuck was that for.”

“You ignored her all night! And you didn’t even go on a run with her this morning! Are you kidding me! Jasper told me you always go running together. You couldn’t even just wait for her this morning.”

“I couldn’t sleep and she was dead asleep.”

“Doesn’t matter. You could have texted her back.”

“Okay jeez. I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing to me? I’m not the one that you left hanging all night. I can’t believe you blew them off for me.” They started whispering to avoid people hearing them. “You need to go apologize to her, she’s your partner, you can’t just do that to her.”

“Fine.”

“Go!”

Asra pointed when he didn’t start walking. He rolled his eyes a bit but started waking back into the rink. Asra sighed before going to grab Oliver and heading to the rink so they could watch Lillian skate.