Ripples

I am not sure where and when the ripples began. No one is certain how far-reaching they are.

During a difficult time in my life, Mrs. Price gave me good advice. (I apologize for the inadvertent rhyme.) She shared with me that the best way to meet someone was either at church or volunteering. It worked for her and Fred. I didn't listen to her at first, so I spent a lot of time alone and lonely.

When my daughter, Mira was eight years old, she advised me to "go do something." I heard her but did nothing. She was pretty, even at that age.

It was spring of 2012 when I received a letter from the Director of Western New York Independent Living. As the head of an advocacy agency for people with disabilities, Doug had invited me to be a member of his Consumer Advisory Council.

By this time, I was intrigued because I had subconsciously heard the same message three times: VOLUNTEER.

I did go to the meetings, and was chosen as secretary. I felt important, like I was the glue that held the Council together. I took the minutes, and had access to all of the Councils' members home numbers. I couldn't stand the chairman. On the inside, I was seething;outwardly, no one could tell.

Joe was a short and stout, Italian man with blonde spiky hair and an annoying Boston accent. His accent was even more annoying when he was complaining. He made me, and the others, feel small so he could feel "big". He thought he was king , and his shit didn't stink. He would call me at all hours, and just stop by my apartment. He thought it was ok, but it wasn't. it got to the point where I had to file a grievance.

Ron, on the other hand, was an unassuming and kindly man. To me, he was Clint Eastwood, Robert Redford and Michael Douglas all rolled into one. At times, I even saw a dash of "Superman". I was smitten, but no one could know.

I continued to volunteer, keeping it professional with Joe. I was involved with several other programs at the agency alongside Ron. We began dating in 2013. Though our disabilities are different, we have a lot in common. We have a passion for advocacy, and a love of Oldies music. We attended agency functions together and tons of outdoor concerts. When finances were tight, he was instrumental in helping me get benefits reinstated. When he injured his rotator cuff, I was by his side every day. Ron has been a blessing in my life for nearly eight years.

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In Winter 2019, I wrote a piece to enter "Christmas on Us", a contest on WHTT's website. I wanted to acknowledge all that Ron had done for others, despite all he had been through himself.

The nomination read:

"Ron means everything to me. He is my best friend, my mentor, a 'dad' to my daughter, and the love of my life. He sustained a T-3 spinal injury at 7 years old when he was hit by a car. Because his father was an alcoholic, there was domestic violence everyday. When he was 10, his father died by suicide at home.

Despite his paraplegia, he learned to drive, so he could be a help to his mom, Laura.They cared for each other in the family home until she had a stroke in the early 2000's His mom remained at ECMC for 4 years until her passing.

He gives back to the community by volunteering at UB for accessibility research studies, and occasionally at Western New York Independent Living, (where we met).

Despite everything, Ron has remained an advocate for himself and a positive role model for me and Mira. Thankfully, he remains independent in his childhood home and still drives his 20 year old wheelchair van. Although he cannot walk and doesn't work, he maintains a positive attitude toward life and its blessings. His faith in God has kept him moving forward."

I retyped an edited my entry from 2018, said a small prayer and hit "ENTER". I was hoping the the right eyes would see my entry this time. Now all there was left to do was wait.

I don't even think that 24 hours went by. Dave Jixster called from 97 Rock. He called to share the news that Ron was the first of several who had been chosen to be sponsored (by Cumulus Media) for Christmas! I really had no idea what that meant, but I was so excited!

Jixster said that we would be having dinner at 'Chef's', and that we could bring 5 guests along with our family of 3. He also shared that there would be a prize envelope containing about $300 worth of various gift cards. It ended up being a whole lot more.

Mira missed school on December 17th. We all prepared to go to 'Chef"s' for dinner. There was Ron, Mira and myself as well as Ronnie G. and his wife, Lynne; Johnnie G. and his daughter Lydian; and Johnnie K. from next door. We were one big happy family celebrating our blessings of each other.

You know, I think the ripples still continue. Despite COVID-19, and not being able to celebrate together this year, I have copies of the nomination essay, photos of that day, along with memories of love in my heart.