Relationship Growth

Ever since I was a little kid, I’ve always been a pretty flitty character. Never really committing to anything and always giving up when things got a bit tough. Any hobby you can think of: piano, flute, soccer, basketball, violin, and basically any other sport or instrument. Truthfully, it‘s a major flaw of mine I have trouble admitting I have. I get bored extremely easily. I remember watching the Rihanna’s SavageXFenty online show and resonating with her when she said she gets bored of things AS she’s doing them. Maybe it’s because of my Sagittarius moon or because I blame every character flaw I have on my astrology chart, but I had hoped one day as I got older I would be able to become more intimate and trusting with people I consider my friends. But that just hasn’t been the case. If anything, it has gotten more difficult. But hey, it only makes life more interesting. I heard once that when life gets hard, you’ve leveled up. Maybe this is just another obstacle that I’ll have to push past. That being said, I would like to delve into why it is so hard for introverted people such as myself to open up and let people in and truly start planting seeds that will take root and form meaningful, lasting relationships. One reason I feel it’s so hard for us to truly show who we are, and most introverts don’t want to reveal this, but we‘re actually really calculated people. We think before we say and do while also realizing what words or actions would best benefit us. Now don’t get us wrong, we always try and do what’s best for our loved ones, as well. But like the saying goes, you can’t help others before you’ve helped yourself.

Another factor that goes into this, is the idea of letting people getting to know the real you, freaks us out. What if we have a falling out? What if you betray me? What if you twist my words? Now, you are somebody who has seen my vulnerable side and knows my secrets. You’re out and about with the knowledge of these things about me and it terrifies us if you would use anything we’ve told you against us. I guess what our problem is is having this implicit bias of thinking of people as dishonest. We place this upon others so that we don’t get hurt in the process, but it is honestly just detrimental to our growing relationships in the long-run.

Frankly, if we want to make our relationships real, we have to take away our acquired prejudices against everyone. We have to trust our intuition when we feel we have met a genuinely kind person we vibe with and allow them to get to know us. Even if it takes a while, real ones will stick around. And remember, more doesn’t mean better. Having a few, but authentic, bona fide friendships is key to feeling sane in this ruthless, yet wonderful world. I hope this gives some insight on why you are having so much trouble with getting intimate with others and can use this information to better your current or future friendships.