Racial Preferences are Dumb

In the midst of a late night in with some friends, our conversation has turned to the topic of which people on campus we find the most attractive. After I name a few guys of different races, someone asks me, an afro-asian young woman, if I’m into white guys.

“Oh, I’m into all guys”, I laughed. “Life’s a buffet—why be a picky eater?”

After a few laughs, eye-rolls, and suggestive smirks at my admittedly brazen comment, the hot-guy-naming continued and I spaced out about the concept of racial preferences and how it didn’t sit well with me. That night I had ultimately decided that in this point in time, racial preferences are downright dumb.

I emphasize “time” in this context because globalization and the technological revolution of the 21st century have played such massive roles in interpersonal connectivity. Billions of people are able to more easily and quickly exchange information, share in experiences, and learn from each in a way not previously seen in previous eras. In an increasingly interconnected and diverse world, acting on racial preferences is an exclusive, quasi-prejudiced form of dating that should no longer be condoned.

Having a racial preference is problematic for various reasons, key being that it’s considered racist to have one at all. It’s alternatively called “sexual racism”, and is a form of racial bias that distinctly separates potential partners and segregates the dating scene. At its core, a racial preference is a prejudiced albeit common form of profiling, that essentially characterizes and generalizes a person based on the color of their skin.

It inaccurately subscribes certain traits and behaviors to an entire demographic. Perhaps someone has a preference for black women based on cultural reasons; maybe this person is looking for someone who is christian, or likes R&B, or is a democrat. Perhaps they have a preference for black women because they’re looking for someone “thick”, or curvy, or with curly hair. There’s even the possibility that this person prefers black women because they want someone sassy and bold. Regardless of the reason, it’s incorrect to ever assume that a black woman would have any of these traits. It’s illogical to assume that anyone would have any specific trait solely because of their race.

In this way, racial preferences can quickly become a slippery slope. There are deeply embedded biases that we all carry of course, but acting on them in relationships and in life is hazardous. Of the traits listed, none of them are necessarily negative but are nonetheless stereotypical. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting any of these things in a partner, but automatically associating them with an entire race of people is unsound. As is the case for anyone exercising any racial preference, there will inevitably be some prejudiced mindset in assuming that a person is a certain way because of the color of their skin.

What does it truly mean to have a preference? For latino men? For asian women? For any race or ethnicity? There’s no single latino male personality. There’s no single asian female body type. There’s no single black female world view. Racial preferences are archaic yet socially accepted forms of soft discrimination that put people in boxes they simply don’t even fit into.

I’m not implying that people with racial preferences are racist- the truth is a lot of people have them. People who prefer to date within their own race still have a racial preference. Indeed, sometimes very general traits tend to be visible in a specific ethnicity- historically African Americans have voted along Democratic lines for example. While people of the same ethnicity tend to share in some of the same norms or customs, associating millions of people with a specific set of attitudes or behaviors is illogical. Racial preferences inhibit the potentiality of holistic, illuminating dating experiences. Someone’s other half can look absolutely nothing like them yet share in the same values, passions, or perspectives that ultimately unite them more deeply than differing ethnicities.

Obviously I carry my own personal biases. I’m “Blasian”' myself—black and filipino— in a family with people of white, black, and asian backgrounds. Couple this with the fortunate fact that I grew up in a DC, a rather diverse city, and have also attended diverse schools, and it becomes clear why interracial relationships have been normalized for me. I’ve come to believe there’s beauty in every race, that there’s something worthwhile in dating a person despite their race. That love and relationships can bloom between anyone, whether or not they eat different foods, or have a different hair texture, or are from different countries.

I could go on to say how racial preferences are dumb because race itself is a construct. I could talk about how they often lead to the fetishization of minorities. But my primary point here is that racial preferences perpetuate stereotypes and prejudices in the dating scene. They keep them alive and well in a time where there shouldn’t be a place for them at all.

Racial preferences lead us to act on the preconceived notions we have in our heads. And so it essentially becomes a battle between open-mindedness and closed-mindedness. If life’s a buffet, the best thing to do is to be open to trying something new and not hastily judge or exclude something if it doesn’t look good. Not to say that you should try or aim to try everything, or that human beings are food. But dating and relationships are more worthwhile without a racial preference. Like a picky eater, you miss out on all the flavors and experiences life has to offer. How dull. How dumb.