Projection: The Way People Dodge Their Self-Doubts

The human psyche is an interesting thing. So many people feel like they are not good enough. They are constantly dodging their self-doubts, and it’s this way of thinking that leads to mental illness.

One day, a friend calls me five in the morning. It isn’t unusual because friends know I wake up early. But still, this friend would usually send me a text message first, but today that didn’t happen. Instead, my phone rings and I needed to answer the call.

She was incoherent, telling me all sorts of things about the things she read about COVID, the vaccines — the stuff no one in their right mind should believe. It is all part of the disinformation.

The conspiracy theorists are having a field day, and my friend is one of them.

She was projecting her fear on me, what happens next is that I have to choose myself and I had to let go of her as a friend, and the friendship of more than a decade had to go, another casualty of the virus that we have to deal day in and day out.

The power of projection

Projection is when people “dodge” their thoughts about themselves by being critical of others or vice versa. This is often seen in friendships where one friend can project their insecurities onto the other and vice versa.

Friends can also project their fears and anxieties onto the other person. Projection is also used to shield oneself from blame and responsibility. For example, if I feel guilty about something, I may project the guilt onto someone else to relieve myself of the feeling.

I may blame my partner for my pain like I have been blaming myself. It’s easy to do — we don’t want to feel the pain. We want it to go away. When we do this, we are giving our power to that person.

If I feel responsible for an unfortunate situation, I might also project the responsibility onto someone else to escape from taking action. I do this to pretend that it is not my fault and avoid taking any responsibility or blame.

Projection is a form of self-protection that people use to guard themselves against feeling bad about themselves. It is the habit of seeing your faults in others.

“I must be a bad mother because my child is always misbehaving.”

“Why does my friend never have any money?

The psychology of projection

Projection refers to unconsciously taking unwanted emotions or traits you don’t like about yourself and attributing them to someone else. — Karen R. Koenig, M.Ed, LCSW.

The psychology of projection is the idea that people who are insecure in themselves or have a strong desire to be seen in a particular way will project their insecurities onto other people.

This can happen in many ways, from telling someone they are crazy to refusing to take responsibility for one’s actions. When someone tells another person that they are crazy, it is a form of abuse. This can be especially damaging if the person abusing has more credibility or power than the abused person.

When someone cuts you off from other people, it is a form of abuse. They’re saying, “I own you. I control you.”

I heard this story so many times, a woman’s boyfriend controls her by forbidding her to speak with certain friends and family members. He did this because he was insecure about their relationship. He did this because he didn’t want his friends to think that he had a good life. He wanted them to believe that he was a victim like they were. This is why he did this to himself, and it’s also why he did not tell anyone else about his situation.

Your brain is addicted to pain — it’s just like alcohol or drugs.

There are three general types of psychological projection:

1. Neurotic Projection is the most common type of projection where someone attributes feelings, motives, desires, and attitudes they deem unacceptable. This type most closely meets the definition of psychological projection.

2. Complementary Projection occurs when an individual believes that everyone else shares the same opinions and thoughts he or she does. For example, a woman is concerned about climate change, but she is shocked when she realizes not everyone feels the same way.

3. Complimentary Projection occurs when someone assumes that other people possess the same skills they do. For example, a talented cook may think everyone should make the same dishes to play with ease.

You can read the full article by Jenny Chang here: What Is Projection? Psychology, Example, And Application For Your Relationships

Takeaway

Projection is the way people dodge their self-doubts. An unconscious defense, projection, involves attributing undesirable qualities to others or projecting them into the outside world.

With self-doubts, projection serves as a buffer that protects the individual from feeling inadequate. He focuses on another person’s actions rather than his own and attributes to others qualities that might be his own. Thus, the behavior of others serves as a mirror, reflecting at him those aspects of himself which he would most like to deny.

There are times when projection can result in positive results like when you are attracted to people you believe are successful and want to be like them.

But in relationships, projection can cause irreparable harm, especially if your behavior has become abusive to your partner.

When it turns into chronic projection and harms your well-being and relationships, it may be wise to take a close and hard look at your inner ‘shadow,’ — Carl Jung.

The best way to combat projection is by accepting that it happens to us and is present in our lives. Once we get ourselves without judgment, then we can start healing.