Preserved flowers, immortal flowers

I. A Desperate Agreement

Xiao Wang was 23 when she graduated from Xi’an Industry University (City of Xi'an, China) in 2011. Soon she became a white-collar. Her dream was simple, working for two years, finding a man, getting married. The future was full of promises and hope.

Early 2012, she started to feel fatigued, lose appetite and balance. She had a checkup.

Uremia, terminal.

Shocked and anguished, Xiao was admitted to the hospital. The doctor said she could hardly live for one year without a kidney transplant. Xiao’s parents had been sick for years, they were out of the donation prospect in the first place. She had an elder sister, but her husband sternly refused the donation.

Like other kindney patient, she registered into the national kidney source center. The waiting line was endless.

By that time social media groups had become popular among all kinds of patients in the city. Either in the real or virtual world, they were desperately looking for siliver lining. Organs, drugs, nostrums, tips, legal or ilegal.

Xiao signed up for a couple of groups. Apr. 2013, she got a message, “Go get a young man in the cancer patient group. Marry him. After he dies, you will get his body donation as his spouse. If there is no complication of kidney failure caused by the cancer treatment, plus a matching blood type, you will get a great kidney. It's a gamble but what can you lose?”

She got into a cancer patient group called “I want to live”, then put up a dating ad. Struggling with the words, she finally came up with,

“I will give you the best care after the marriage. Please forgive me if this sounds disrespectful and insane -- I want to live (exact words of the group name).”

The post made quite a stir in the group, but received more compassion than reproaches. One day she got a message from a group member called “Sunflower lover”,

“Hey. Is this a hoax?”

Xiao quickly sent over her ID and medical reports. After a long pause, a reply came in:

“I can marry you. I'm Jianping Yu, 27, Xi’an local. I have been on Myeloma for three years, blood type B. I had a bone marrow transplant (BMT) three years ago. It’s got relapsed recently. I don’t want to deal with it anymore.”

Xiao’s blood was B, too. She was thrilled.

They exchanged numbers, started to chat through text messages. One day Xiao paused a bit too long in the middle of the chat. Then she said,

“On dialysis now. My arm is fixated. Here is a single-handed monster lol.”

Jianping thought she was kidding. A video popped up a few seconds later –Xiao laid next to a dialysis machine, red blood flowing through the tube. She looked extremely pale, but the grin still vibrant.

“You see it? My face and mood are changing all the time.”

Jianping was amazed. Naughty girl, he thought.

Jun. 2013, Xiao was temporarily discharged from the hospital. She secretly contacted other members in the online group to check Jianping’s background.

Everything was real.

Soon they made an appointment to meet up. It was at Xingqing Palace Park, across the street to Jianping’s home college. They both wore face masks in the hot summer --a weird sign in pre-Covid time. They saw each other from far away. They hugged. Then Xiao laughed.

“Is this a date? It looks like two spies having a secret meeting. We two fools.”

Amused, Jianping jested back, “Come on, have a good look at me. Are you seeing the hope to live?”

Jianping took off his mask. His face looked really bad. It turned out, Jianping had stopped hospital treatment one year ago. He even stopped taking drugs for the blood control. Xiao was shocked.

“You can’t do that. This is stupid. It could lead to much bigger problems.”

“I don’t care. I have had enough of it. More importantly, you are waiting for my kidney, aren’t you?” His face was bleak, but his tone has a sense of humor.

They both felt the weight. Xiao fell into silence.

Soon Jianping made a serious request, “You don’t have to take care of me. Take care of my father after I die.”

Xiao nodded, hearbroken.

Jianping graduated from Xi’an Jiaotong University (a top univ. in China). He was a manager in a Wealth Management firm. He was diagnosed with Myeloma before his wedding. Life turned from sunshine to abyss overnight. His fiance left him. His mom died many years ago. His father sold their property for his treatment. In the beginning, he just cursed the bad luck in life. Then the relapse came. Amidst the profound despair, he increasingly worried about his father.

"Mom is gone, home is gone, money is gone. How can he face the lonely and helpless life after I am gone? "

The worry grew heavier every single day. When he saw Xiao’s date ad., he saw a silver lining for his father. He knew that he couldn't make a legal obligation even though they made an agreement. "It's a gamble but what can I lose?" he thought the same.

The primary condition of kidney transplants is blood type. Once matched, the transplant operation is highly viable. For a uremia patient, a matching kidney is the whole world. She didn’t want to let it go despite there were still risks in the surgery.

July 16, 2013, they went to the city office for the marriage registration. They made a wedding celebration in a little restaurant at lunch time. They signed a special agreement:

Given the health condition of both sides, they would not live together, nor disclose the marriage to either family. They would not share their finance. If the kidney was right and the donation was successful, Xiao should take care of Jianping’s father until his death. If the kidney was not right, Xiao was not obliged to give the care.

II. Reversal: we are alive together.

Despite a secret marriage, once they slipping into it, they started to think about one another. After all, it was the first marriage for both, perhaps, the last, too. They called each other every day, chating for a long time. Xiao had sleep problems. Jianping told her: “I am a boring storyteller; I can help you get to sleep quickly. Let me tell you a bedtime story every night.”

“Okay!” She fell into sleep really fast, hearing Jianping’s soft and magnetic voice.

Sept. 2013, Xiao’s creatinine index went up abruptly, 30 times over normal. She was quickly admitted to the hospital. Her lower legs gleamed with huge swells, reminding her of the death of one of her fellow patients. Dismayed, she didn’t reply to Jianping’s texts, nor answer his calls. He got worried. He went to the kidney hospital, checking the beds one by one. Finally he found her. Xiao was startled. Seeing Xiao’s parents in the room, Jianping flustered to introduced himself:

“I am Xi'ao's fellow patient. I came to see her.”

The parents greeted him. When they got out of the room, Jianping reprimanded.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I am sorry, " she forced a smile. "I might not be able to get to the day for the transplant.”

The face broke Jianping’s heart. All of sudden, he wanted to take care of her, really. "If I help her recover, she might end up taking care of my father better and longer." He deliberately increased the time staying with her.

Xiao’s creatinine index came down to the safe range, as well as the swells on legs. She quickly switched to the naughty mode. One day she was alone in the hospital bed. She made a picture on her swollen leg, sent it to Jianping, and texted.

“Hey you, my husband. Enjoy my sexy leg.”

Jianing laughed, replied, “I am totally enchanted. I would come chase you were you not sick.”

A sense of flattery hit her. She texted, “Wait for me then. I will recover.”

Silence at Jianping side. Heart sinking, Xiao realized that she couldn’t recover without Jianping’s kidney. Her recovery meant his death.

She quickly dropped the subject.

Jianping was a funny guy. He wrote and played a lot of comedian plays in the college. He lost his mood since the cancer ruined his life. But Xiao's mischeif revived his sense of humor. When she was tormented by the pain, he would text some jokes made by himself. She laughed all the time.

He was a good cooker, too, especially making soups. He learned to cook herbal soup — a Chinese traditional medicine that many believe holds magic healing power. He made two pots of herbal soup every day, one for each of them. While eating his, he made loud sounds and gloated, “Wow~~ this is our magic soup. Yummy, yummy~~”

Xiao started to care about him, too. She asked him about his blood index every day. Gradually, Jianping developed an unconscious act — no sooner seeing Xiao than reporting loud his blood values of the day, with an ending:

“That’s all of my report. Your order, Madam?”

The two lonely hearts got closer and warmer.

New Year Eve of 2014, Jianping went to see Xiao after dinner. Carrying a flower basket made by himself, he bounced with joy. They met at a street in the downtown, the new year celebration at its peak. He gave her a tight hug, “Happy New Year! Wife. ”

She held him back, “Happy New Year! Husband.”

“You should say, Happy New Year, my kidney!” he cackled.

Seeing tears in her eyes, he held her tighter, “I like you, you silly girl!” Standing in the middle of the lights and crowd, she closed her eyes. A long-gone chill of happiness came up her spine.

After the new year celebration, however, it was her turn to lose him. Jianpiang disappeared for weeks.

Xiao found an address on the copy of his ID. She took a taxi. Jianping’s aunt opened the door. She told her Jianping and his father were in the hospital. Jianping stopped taking chemo drugs a couple of weeks ago; the blood value fell rapidly. His father urged him to go to the hospital. He didn’t move. One week ago, his father called other family members to help force him into the hospital.

She burst into tears.

"Baster~~He is speeding up to the end. It’s all for me!"

She got a taxi, headed to the hospital. She couldn't stop crying and scolding in the car. All of a sudden, something hit her in her mind.

Why it has to be a game of “You die and I live”? No! No! I want both of us to live. I will hold his hand, and he mine. We will cross this ocean together.

As soon as seeing Jianing, she shouted, “You want to die quick, don’t you?”

Jianping winked in his father’s direction. Xiao went straight ahead and pulled his dad out of the room. She told him everything.

“We are now wife and husband. We are alive together, we are dead together.”

Coming back, she gave Jianping a final warning, “You must receive full treatment. Or I will divorce you and give up your kidney.”

“It’s not merely for you" Jianping said, totally exhausted. "I can’t endure the pain anymore. Above all, I am out of money. Think about this, I could save you if I am dead now. It will be too late if my kidney went bad.”

Furious, Xiao went ahead and slapped Jianping in his face. “You are not afraid of death, nor am I. Why are we afraid of life?”

“Why are you doing this for me?” he murmured, repeating the question again and again.

“I don’t want to let it go like this. I have never dated anyone. Can you play my training partner in dating? Please!” Xiao said in tears.

“Can I?”

“Yes, yes! We both have fallen behind. Both losers. No better match!”

Jianping laughed and cried. He clearly saw the hope of life this time.

III. Dried Flowers — the fragrance sent by the transformation

In the afternoon, Xiao came back home, showed her parent the marriage certificate. “I got married without telling you…..” Bewildered, they heard the whole story. How could they blame her? They accepted the sick son-in-law without a pause. “With the certificate, he is now our son, too.” After that day, Xiao moved to Jianping’s hospital for her treatment so they could help each other. The parents of both sides co-rented a garage near the hospital to cook for the couple.

Early 2014, they both got into good condition. Xiao started to look for the money for Jianping’s second BMT. The first one burned out all the money in the Jianping family. On sick leave for a long time, Jianping only received basic compensation from his employer. Xiao thought about borrowing money from her parents. But Jianping was strongly opposed.

“This is against our agreement. What if my transplant failed? You have nothing left then.” Xiao’s parents were opposed, too. “We have savings of CNY500k ($73k) or so. It’s your life-saving money. What if one day we found the right kidney. Nobody touches the money!”

"Make money," Xiao quickly made up her mind. But she sighed that she possessed nothing but the terminal uremia.

One day, a fellow patient introduced her to a craft man from Taiwan. He made preserved flowers. The story of the preserved flower was beautiful. In WWII, when the fire of war was approaching Andorra in South Europe, a couple was about to set apart. The boy plucked the blooming roses in the garden and handed them to his girlfriend. “When the last petal withers and I haven’t come back. Please forget me and start a new life.” After he left, she dehydrated, dried, and dyed the petals, so that they would never wither. One day the boy came back. They never set apart ever since. They gave these flowers a beautiful name: Immortal Flowers (IF)

Xiao was mesmerized by the IF story. "It’s our story, too!" She made her first piece of IF under the craft man’s instruction. She brought it to Jianping.

“Don’t you think we are like this flower? Fading and dyed, but we are all the same beautiful.”

He was amazed by the vivid flower, more so when Xiao told him she would start to make and sell IFs for his treatment.

“Wait for me.” Xiao felt like she was the Andorra boy, he the girlfriend.

“No, I will make the flowers with you, sell them with you.”

New Year Eve of 2014, their IF booth opened in a market plaza. Xiao hung a lot of cards in front of the IFs, with their story written on them. In the end she wrote:

"Immortal flowers grow out of the debris."

"Immortal flower, eternal love."

They sold out their first batch of IFs, over a hundred pieces, in two hours. In a few days, they made CNY3000 ($440). Rong, a flower shop owner, heard about their story. She contacted Xiao and purchased a lot of IFs for resale. She also articulated the story in the flower biz community and encouraged store owners to place orders to Xiao. Soon, the sales reached over 10k IF boxes per month and still growing. In two months, Xiao made CNY300k($44k). One of the biggest orders was worth CNY70k($10k), an anonymous buyer bought it to gift friends.

Middle Apr., Xiao and Jianping went to Ruijin Hospital in Shanghai, where Jianping had the first BMT. The checkup showed that his body was ready for the second one. Apr. 19, the hospital contacted the first donator through the national marrow center. It was a young man of 25. He was willing to make the second donation. Xiao burst into tears of joy.

They brought the CNY300k from the IF business, plus CNY100k ($15k) from Jianping’s family and CNY100k ($15k) from Xiao’s. Apr. 26, Jianping was heading to the operation. Outside of the room, Xiao held a bunch of IFs, kissed Jianping’s forehead.

“My husband, come back alive. I will be waiting for you.”

“Wait for me.”

The second transplant had more risks than the first. Staying in the observatory room for more than one month, Jianping lingered at the verge of death multiple times. Meanwhile, Xiao was exceedingly busy making IFs. She believed the reborn flowers would send out the strongest fragrance to her husband over all the walls. All of sudden, she treasured her own life more than ever. She had dialysis with more care. She took supplementary drugs. She exercised every day.

End of May, Jianping was transferred to a regular bed. His blood values came down to a safe range. They all flew back to Xi’an.

Seeing the happy couple, Jianping’s father had entangled emotions toward to Xiao — — grateful that she literally saved his son, so sorry that the kidney she was waiting for went further rather than closer. He came to her, “My child, Jianping would never come this far without you. I wish my kidney were right for you.”

“Regardless, you can’t have this sort of surgery at your age, " she was in tears, too. "Don’t worry. I will keep myself healthy and wait for the kidney source.”

There came the second miracle –Xiao had a solid recovery, too. Her dialysis changed from twice per week to once per month. Jan. 2015, the checkup showed her creatinine index came down steadily. The doctor said, keeping it that way, she could stay alive for a quite long time without a kidney transplant.

Valentine’s Day, 2015, Xiao and Jianping had a grand wedding in Xi’an Peace Hotel. When it came to the session of parents’ blessing, Xiao’s father said:

"You two have been a couple for pretty long, only now are you heading to a brand-new life. I wish your relationship and lives are like the IFs you are making, reborn out of the debris. The longer, the stronger."

P.S.

— My brother, still living in Xi'an city, told me this story that happened in our hometown, Xi’an, China. I couldn’t help but write it into my blog. Growing up in Xi'an, there is one sensation that I can’t share with readers. That is, there are so many names of places (e.g. streets, parks, colleges, even the companies they worked for) in the original story that I know them so well. It’s like I am just sitting in the little restaurant in Youyi Dong Rd. — I passed it over a hundred times in my real life, watching Xiao and Jianping sitting at the next table. They were celebrating their first wedding, before signing the agreement. I might have met them at Dongda Street, the most glamorous street in Xi’an, where a boy carried a flower basket and said to the girl,

“You should say, Happy New Year, my kidney!”

Oh~~ how many stories have we missed given how many couples we have encountered at the next table in life? I must write this down before it’s gone.