Pre-Rich

“I am not broke. I am pre-rich.

I am.. pre-rich.

I have access to everything that I need. Money? It’s not a problem. Oh you want to know how I can say that with such ease? Well it’s simply because I am abundant. I am prosperous. I am a literal money magnet. Yes, yes, yes. I can see it now, my checking and savings account are growing exponentially.”

"That’s.. good. You’re starting to sound like you believe what you’re saying..."

“But...?”

".. but you need to be specific. What is that you have access to? How much money is in your accounts? Also, there’s no need to convince anyone but yourself."

“Oh come on Aisha.”

"No. You come on. You’re always talking about your dreams and how you want to be of service, yet you have no time or energy because you’re working yourself into the ground for $9 an hour."

“Whoa whoa whoa. I thought this was supposed to be an empowerment talk not a “Let’s Read Jasmin for Filth Talk”.”

"I’m not reading you for filth Jasmin. I’m just reflecting your reality back to you. We've been living together for a couple years now, so I know you. If you don’t like what you hear it's simply an indicator that something has to change."

Jasmin said nothing, pouring the perlite into her potting mixture. Aisha handed her the cutting from the Jade plant they had prepared a week ago.

“Will you please pass me the watering tin?,” Jasmin asked, eyes focused on her task.

"Here."

“What’s this?”

Aisha smiled. "Exactly what it looks like, a little black notebook."

“Okay, but what’s it for?”

"It’s for you to write down your intentions, your goals, your dreams, that which you want to manifest. You know they say writing it down makes it real. "

Jasmin sighed. She had heard this before.

"Girl look, you know I love you. That’s why I’m sharing this. Not to be too mushy gushy but it IS my duty to remind you.. You are SO beautiful and AMAZING and you deserve the world! In fact, everything you feel that you want is already yours. You just have to claim it. So please please please, promise me that you’ll write in it."

Aisha watched as Jasmin stood and grabbed the watering tin off the table.

"Well?"

Jasmin laughed lightly, “Can’t I just have a moment to sit in silent reflection?”

Allowing the smile to fall from her face, Jasmin watered the Jade plant for the first time.

“Yeah, okay. Yes. I will write in it. I mean.. I knew I was going to have to take accountability at some point.”

...

“Clock out and hand in your badge. Today is your last day.”

Aisha gasped, “No way!”

“That’s really what he said to me. I’ve been there for over a year and I work harder than anybody in there!” Jasmin began to pace around her room.

“I’m confused though, WHY did he fire you?” Aisha asked.

“ He tried to say that on top of not calling in on Monday, I missed the last couple of Fridays, our busiest day. Which is cap! We pulled up the records and I had only missed one Thursday! And I called in!!”

“Wow Jas. Did you get the Union involved?”

“Honestly no. I don’t even care at this point. I’m not stressing out over $9 and that work environment is toxic! TOXIC!!”

Aisha understood, but knew Jasmin often acted impulsively, “I feel you, I feel you.. What are you going to do in the meantime though? Two months ago you had two jobs, now—“

“— Now I have time. I know you’re thinking I’m not thinking things through, but trust me, I am and I have. Well, to a point.” Jasmin laughed. “Weren’t you just getting on me about not going after my dreams and working this dead end job?”

“Yeah. That’s true. I see better for you but I’m also about practicality.”

“Well. I don’t know about practical, but I do have faith.” Jasmin looked over at the Jade plant on her window sill and thought it looked taller than it did the day before. The little black notebook stood next to it.

“Alright Aisha, I’ll see when you get back. I love you and thank you for listening.”

“I love you too. Peace.”

Jasmin tossed her phone on the bed and walked over to the window to pick up the notebook.

“I heard you make people’s dreams come true. What do you say you and I finally have that chat?”

March 5, 2021

17:38

So. I’ve been staring at this page for a couple of minutes now, thinking about what I should say and I realized that’s part of my problem. I spend all of this time thinking and thinking and thinking

and then thinking some more

AND it’s not that I don’t want to think... I just would like for my thinking to not get in the way of my doing. Ya know???

Okay, now that we got that out of the way-

I’m here because my friend Aisha gifted this notebook to me and I promised that I would write in it. I’m here because I don’t have any choice but to make my dreams come true now that I’m jobless. I’m here because I’m not willing to let myself slip away into hopelessness.

I am here because I am the creator of my reality and it’s time to get creative!!

With hope for the future,

Jasmin

March 7, 2021

10:15

Intentions, Goals, Dreams, Manifestation.

I just looked up the definition of intention and one read “the healing process of a wound”... Wow.

I am healing from years of self doubt.

I am healing from the chronic pain that comes from living paycheck to paycheck.

I’m healing from loss. Lost time, lost love.

I am healing from the consequences of my ignorance and poor decisions.

I intend to make rich decisions, wealthy decisions, prosperous and abundant decisions. I have the power to decide, to choose

and I am choosing me

and I am choosing a life of living and not just surviving. I am choosing to thrive

to use my power to speak things into being.

Aisha told me to be specific, and that scared me... it scared me because I’ve hardly ever asked for anything in my life. My thinking was something like— “who am I to ask for or even demand anything?”

Especially because I have big things in mind. Enough of that though, I mean... look where that thinking has got me. I’m grateful for it all but I wouldn’t choose to repeat it.

Goals, dreams, manifestations?

Jasmin looked up from the journal and looked around, her eyes settling on the tv.

" The President has been briefed on 20,000 beds needed to handle a 45% spike..."

I just saw the number 20,000 on the news.

I was thinking about my financial situation and how much I should ask for. I didn’t want to be too greedy, but I also didn’t want to ask for too little.

I don’t know about you buuuuut... 20,000 seems like a good number:

*takes deep breath*

I, Jasmin Jaír, just received a generous donation of $20,000 and I am so grateful, tears are literally coming out of my eyes. Thanks to this I was able to pay off my debt to the university so that I can finish my classes and get this degree! I can get that kia soul I’ve been eyeing on craigslist (it checks out, I promise) which is going to make it so much easier to see my family, the world and just get around. There have been so many missed opportunities because public transportation can be so time consuming, or I would still have to walk for miles, or it was too cold and rainy. My aunt passed last year, while I was on my way to visit her.

Jasmin tilted her head back, blinking until the tears retreated.

My next move after the car is to get a new laptop, Pro Tools and Logic. Then 20% of what’s left will go to my checking account and the rest is going into my savings. I was doing okay before, maintaining my peace and what not.. but having some of this financial burden alleviated has really freed up my mind and lightened my spirit. I can tell that the music is ready to flow out of me.

Thank you, thank you, thank you

and thank you again.

With lots of love, humility and gratitude,

Jasmin

...

“Jasmin, wake up.”

Jasmin opened her eyes to see Aisha’s concerned face.

“Hmm?” Jasmin said, closing her eyes again.

“Your mom’s been blowing up your phone all morning, you left it in my room last night. Took me a while to hear the buzzing.

She even called me...” Aisha trailed off.

Jasmin sat up. “What happened?”

“She just said to tell you to call her,” Aisha handed Jasmin her phone. “It sounded urgent.”

Dialing her mom, Jasmin went to sit by the window. Aisha stayed on the bed, noticing the Jade plant and the way the sun lit Jasmin’s face.

“Jasmin! Where have you been?”

“I was asleep. Aisha just woke me up. What’s going on mom?”

“How quickly can you get here?”

“I—“ Jasmin’s response stuck in her throat. It would take a couple of hours if she took the bus and train, and calling a ride would empty her checking account. She looked over at Aisha.

“I can give her a ride Ms. Felicity. How soon do we need to be there?”

“Right now would be great. Please be safe ladies. We’ll talk when you get here.”

The two of them exchanged confused glances.

“What was that about?” Jasmin let out.

“I don’t know but we better get moving.”

...

“Ladies! It took you long enough,” said Felicity as she stepped aside to let Aisha and Jasmin in.

“Mom, what’s going on? You’re scaring me.”

“When were you going to tell me that you had stopped taking classes?”

Jasmin felt her stomach empty. “I didn’t want to worry you.”

“What’s worrying is finding out that my daughter is struggling and not telling anyone about it.”

“Yes ma’am. I’m sorry.”

“No. I’ve thought about this and I am the one who has to apologize. I know why you felt like you couldn’t come talk to me. It’s never really been our thing.”

Jasmin looked up at her mom in awe and then looked at Aisha to verify what just happened.

Aisha nodded as if to say, “yes I heard it too.”

“That’s not really why I asked you to come here though.” Felicity moved towards the kitchen, the girls followed.

“Your Auntie, Grace, who passed last year..

She left you something.”

Jasmin grabbed the envelope from her mom. “It’s a letter.”

“Well?” Felicity probed.

“Hey Ms. Felicity, Is it okay if I get a bowl of cereal? We didn’t really have time to eat.”

“Of course Aisha, help yourself to whatever.”

Jasmin took a deep breath and began to read.

To my beloved niece,

If you’re reading this, I apologize for leaving you so abruptly.

Felicity put her arm around Jasmin’s shoulders.

The heart is an important vessel and I took it for granted. I put a lot on it and didn’t listen when it spoke to me. You remind me of myself in that way. I’ve seen how you’ve gone from the little girl, constantly sharing her latest creations, to a reserved young woman who hesitates to contribute to the conversation.

I worry about you, and I worry that things may get away from you now that I’m gone.

Forcing her tears back, Jasmin continued reading.

I’ve asked your mom to give you a key. It opens a safety deposit box.

Reading ahead to the next line, Jasmin felt her breath leave her body.

“I need to sit down.”

“Do you want me to finish reading it?” asked Felicity.

“Yes please.”

Aisha moved to hold Jasmin and Felicity grabbed the letter.

In it you will find the access code to a safe containing $20,000 and the deed to my vacation home. Don’t worry, I took measures to insure that the property would be maintained in the event of my transition. Your mom has the safe.

Now, we both know that money doesn’t solve everything. It is my hope that you remember that I love you always, you are cared for, and more than worth investing in. Be sure to listen to that beautiful heart of yours and never stop creating. This is your reminder to share.

-Grace

“We need tissue!” Aisha called to Felicity, who was smiling at the letter.

“On it!”

Jasmin sobbed, letting these two women see her experience the release of a cry that had been subdued for too long. She cried until the cry was gone and all she had was laughter. She laughed until all she had was silence. And they sat in silence until Jasmin spoke.

“I wrote it down, Aisha. I wrote it down.”