Practicing Self-love after a breakup

For six months, I and my boyfriend were in a live-in relationship in the city of my dreams, far away from my home. In 2020, I resigned from my work to assist him with his business and to be a life and professional partner with him. We had been dating for 2.5 years when we decided to take a chance on life since he wanted to do some trial and error before committing or marrying.

Isn't everything pleasant to you?

It was to me as well, because at first, we were the most cuddly, passionate couple you could imagine. But things began to shift over time, and he became disinterested after a while. I kept questioning why he changed his behavior, but all he said was that it was the same and that I was overthinking it. It got to the point where he said, "I don't want to continue this relationship anymore," despite my pleadings. I had no idea why we had broken up, and he only had one explanation: we were incompatible.

Even if you have a laundry list of reasons to feel good about other aspects of your life, it's easy to feel inadequate and worthless when the person with whom you were most vulnerable breaks your heart. And I did the same thing, questioning my worth for days. I blamed myself for the breakup and couldn't figure out how to love myself the best during these challenging circumstances. Focus on yourself and read more self-love quotes that will make you feel good.

It will take time and effort to get back to who you are. You're ready to work on your next steps of personal growth once you've recovered from your breakup. Here are six tips for rediscovering yourself and improving your self-esteem:

1. Recognize that you are not the many things said about you by your ex (or others).

Similarly, the terrible things that were not explicitly uttered might hurt just as much as the ones that were. In any event, seeing oneself as unique, whole, and separate from the unpleasant energy of the connection is the first step.

Recognize that the image you have of yourself in your head is inaccurate if it is based on angry comments, cruel words, and unpleasant descriptions of your behavior. You can rebuild your self-worth after you understand that they have harmed your self-esteem. You are the one who defines yourself.

2. Have a lot of compassion for yourself.

You're ready to handle your negative thoughts about yourself differently after you recognize that your self-image is most likely based on your ex's impression of you. Treat the memories and verbal daggers with compassion rather than letting the harsh parting remarks ruin your self-esteem. This isn't to say that you should ignore or dismiss your negative ideas. Allow them to be who they are, and do so with care and compassion.

Whether you're lingering on angry things your ex said to harm you or simply replaying memories, let compassion wash over you. Allow painful ideas to drift by like clouds rather than penetrate you like deadly thunderbolts.

3- Forgive yourself for making mistakes and your ex for causing you misery.

You made a mistake. They made a blunder.

You are remorseful for what you did to them. They most likely feel bad about what they did to you.

Because of all that went wrong, your relationship may feel like a catastrophic failure. For everyone in the relationship, there is usually plenty of guilt and sorrow to go around. Each of you has caused a great deal of suffering and misery.

However, letting go of this heavy load is the only way to prevent it from dragging on your self-worth for the rest of your life. To forgive your ex and let go of the past, you must find it within yourself.

It will be difficult to move on and rebuild your self-worth if you are being particularly harsh on yourself and believe you are to blame for everything that has gone wrong.

4. Make room for love and healing.

It's possible that a large part of your relationship revolved around being the "right" person for your ex. Remember that the true self is still there if you've forgotten who you are.

So, to return to your truth, you must dig deep and begin to live in accordance with your intuition. Begin to pay attention to the strong feelings that are leading you. Stop listening to your ex's and other people's conversations. Practice being present with yourself and working on your self-esteem by yourself.

Visualize yourself as a self-assured individual. Use affirmations like "I am confident and trust myself," "I am a compassionate person who is worthy of love," and "I believe in myself and my skills" regularly.

5. Establish a negative-free zone.

Set healthy boundaries and say no to things that aren't helping you to do this:

People that drag you down and make you feel horrible about yourself should be avoided.

Say no to unwelcome duties, unneeded commitments, and energy-sucking activities.

When your ex tries to re-engage you or lure you back into a bad relationship, say no.

Instead, pursue your passion and partake in activities that bring you joy. Engage in activities you enjoy with others who encourage and support you.

6. Be gentle with others.

All of the preceding suggestions will assist you in cultivating more self-love and compassion. However, thinking about serving others is one method to consistently grow and expand the love within.

Self-esteem can be boosted by volunteering. You begin to feel lifted when you give of yourself without expecting anything in return. Consider how you may connect with people and channel your positive energy. This will make you more sympathetic and kind, both of which will help you feel better about yourself.

Lastly, remember

The loss of a previous relationship does not have to be a reason to lower your self-esteem. Instead, use your breakup as an opportunity to exercise self-love, compassion, and confidence rebuilding.