Oh, The Choices You Can Make

We're all unique in the way we look, talk, and interact with others. Everyone's personalities are divergent, even identical twins have different personalities.

There's no one in the whole world like you.

Think about that for a moment…

There's no one in the whole world like you.

Then, why are we all unhappy with ourselves?

I don't think I've come across a single person who is completely happy with who they are and how they look. 

Women often talk about dieting and giving up eating certain foods because it is bad. 

People put pressure on themselves about exercising whether it's in the gym or going to a class. 

Both men and women are often negative and full of excuses when they haven't exercised. 

Men often talk about careers and making money, always wanting more. 

Women and men focus on looks and how they appear to others, wishing they had smaller waistlines, bigger breasts, nicer hair, less crooked noses, bigger biceps, washboard abs, longer legs, or smaller feet. 

The list is never ending.

Whatever it is, people tend to have that one thing they are unhappy about. I wonder why that is. Why are we all unhappy with who we are and how we look?

Many people spend thousands of Dollars every year to change something about their appearance that they don't like. Some people spend it on magic diets, hair dye, makeup, fragrances and lotions, whilst others spend their money on tattoos, piercings and implants.

Instead of spending our hard-earned cash on quick fixes, why can't we celebrate who we are and our differences? Without it, our world would be very different.

I'm not saying, don't go on a diet or buy that expensive car. I'm saying will it make you any happier? 

Do your friends and family want you to starve yourself and deny your urges to eat, in order to accept you? If that is the case, then that relationship is not healthy, nor is it helping you to move on.

If everyone in the world wanted to only eat corn and no other vegetable, all our fields would grow corn at the detriment of any other vegetable. How boring would that be? If everyone wanted to only watch football, then there would be no other sport.

Imagine that for a second.

Our world would be boring.

If everyone wanted to work at the same place, there would be nothing else. Our world would be insular, and yet most people strive to be like someone else.

Why are we unhappy with who we are?

As a survivor of abuse, I grew up unwanted. I was reminded of how ugly and useless I was every day. Every single one of my faults was brought up to make me feel bad about myself.

They called me stupid and told me that I couldn't think for myself. My thoughts did not matter. It was a way to hold power over me so they could take over and think for me. My life was set out by rules of when and how to speak, what to wear and how to behave or there would be punishments.

This is what it feels like to have no choice in life.

Once I left everyone and moved away, I realized that there was a whole world out there where people were different. I saw people through my innocent eyes as free. 

People were free to be whoever and whatever they wanted to be, and it was accepted. I could hardly believe that such freedom existed. 

Nobody cared whether I ate burgers or pizza for dinner every day. I had my freedom at last. 

Our 21st century world has freedom, and after having been under someone's control, I love the world we live in because of the freedom.

Our world today is fast-paced and forever evolving. If you live in a cosmopolitan area, you can eat food from any nationality at the click of your finger, and delivered to your door. 40 years ago, that would have been impossible, and yet here we are, spoilt for choice.

Most people have cell phones, and by having one, the world is at your fingertips. You can order anything you want online and provided you pay your bill, no one cares what you do. 

It's the same with traveling, if you own a cell phone, you can book a ticket to go almost anywhere in the world with a few clicks.

Life has become easy if you welcome technology into your life.

Choices

If you tend to put on weight easily, then be kind to yourself. Your body is part of who you are, and you shouldn't feel like you must limit life constantly and hold yourself hostage to what you can and can't do. 

Life is too short. So, go and have that slice of cake with your old friend, and indulge in a big ice cream sundae. You deserve it.

If you choose to not be in a relationship and have kids, then that is your choice. Don't let anyone bully you into doing something that will make you unhappy because it fits with what others do at a certain age. 

Your life is your own, and you decide what is best for you. If people cannot accept you for who you are, then they are not friends.

If you work hard and up for a promotion, go for it. Don't let anyone hold you back to follow your dreams. People will always have opinions and some voice them louder than others. 

Ignore it. Most of it is based on jealousy.

If you like shopping and wanting to look your best every day, then why not? You deserve to feel happy with yourself, and if clothes do that for you - then treat yourself to those new shoes or that new outfit. You deserve it.

And if life becomes too much, allow yourself a well-deserved break. Go on a vacation to clear your head and get away from it all for a while. Once you have a clear mind, you are in a much better position to decide what you want out of life, and whether a change is in your future.

Whatever you decide, it is your choice and yours alone. Don't choose a career in the army, just because everyone in your family was in law enforcement. If it isn't making you happy, then why do it?

Don't get caught up in the drama of other people complaining about what is wrong with you. Focus instead of everything that is RIGHT with you. 

Life is too short, especially if you are a trauma victim. Celebrate the goodness and successes in your life, no matter how small.

You are uniquely wonderful, just the way you are.

The life you choose to lead is what will make you happy, not people's opinions. You live inside your body, not inside your friends or your family. Grab life firmly with both hands and go for it.

Be yourself, follow your heart and be happy.

The choices are yours to make.

My name is Lizzy. I'm a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher and an author.

For more about me: www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

Support your fellow writer:

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Here are a few links to my top articles:

Looking for a Change?

https://medium.com/activated-thinker/looking-for-a-change-f391e85abbd7

A Search for Identity

https://medium.com/beyond-lines/a-search-for-identity-893df7c970c2

Are You Searching for Peace?

https://medium.com/illumination/are-you-searching-for-peace-cd54d76231c8

Are You Dealing With Burnout?

https://medium.com/illumination/are-you-dealing-with-burnout-374f774141b4