Obvious Reasons for Marital Dissatisfaction

The main causes of dissatisfaction in marriage are jealousy, infidelity, lack of privacy, and unsatisfactory sex life. But there may be different causes of disappointment and dissatisfaction of one of the partners, depending on the level of their expectations at the beginning of the marriage the degree of idealization of the partner, and the concept of marriage itself.

Thus, it sometimes happens that over time, a strong love turns into dissatisfaction into marriage and disappointment - the more the person has higher expectations from the other and lives together, and the more he idealizes the other during love, the more likely he is to be disappointed!

Even extremely intense feelings and burning passion can be considered causes of disappointment - because, after a longer or shorter period, the passion decreases in intensity and remains only attachment and quiet love, which may not satisfy a person.

But the main causes of marital dissatisfaction are jealousy and infidelity - although some liberal American experts view infidelity as a normal fact, not human to be constantly monogamous, the reality is that extramarital affairs of one partner have intense negative effects, sometimes causing "Psychic disasters" (Petru Ilut).

Infidelity brings a negative emotional charge in the relationship, the cheated one being obsessed with thoughts about the fact that he was not good enough for his partner, that he was replaced by someone more valuable, that he was not able to maintain his marriage.

Self-esteem is practically destroyed with these disturbing thoughts, and often the deceived person will face the inability to trust another person, and the marriage will be destroyed.

But dissatisfaction in marriage can also be determined by the presence of imagined jealousy - without a real basis, or jealousy based only on fears and suspicions. Women are often jealous because men are by nature not monogamous and are thus inclined to extramarital affairs.

But as the intensity of jealousy, men "win" - sociobiologists explain this by the need for the male to guard his partner against rivals, to ensure that his descendants are his!

As mentioned, jealousy can only be imagined - and then it is a problem for the person to temper and even seek therapeutic help when it takes aggressive forms or based on certain suspicions caused by changes in the partner's behavior - and then jealousy is a relationship problem that must be solved in two!

Whatever the cause of the jealousy, it is obvious that this obsessive negative emotion can be an essential source of dissatisfaction in marriage and can have devastating effects on the jealousy, the suspected but also the relationship - once the controlling behaviors of the partner and aggressive behavior, intervention is needed.

Another cause of dissatisfaction in marriage is the lack of intimacy - not related to love or sex life, but to spiritual and practical intimacy: how much time the two spend together. The lack of intimacy and the preoccupation of one of the partners in an area foreign to the couple - for example, career - can also be the primary causes of the birth of jealousy.

The presence of intimacy through conversations, through time spent together, through physical and spiritual closeness is essential in maintaining the harmony of a relationship. When one partner devotes a lot of time to professional development and spends very little at home, the other will feel ignored, neglected, and devalued.

Rational arguments like "I stay at the office a lot to make money for us" will not help when it comes to the situation where the neglected partner feels devalued in the eyes of the partner and their own eyes. Birth dissatisfaction is born, disappointment, sadness that can cause even a deep depression, because essential feelings related to self-worth and self-esteem have suffered.

That is why in a marriage it is important for the two to constantly assure their partner of their appreciation, admiration, and love and to show it through certain activities together. A balance between professional life and family life is necessary, but also a balance between family life as parents and as lovers, as partners of a couple!

With the appearance of children, intimacy suffers, so the two of them need to make sure that they dedicate a certain weekly period to activities for two!

Another obvious source of marital dissatisfaction may be sexual life: an unsatisfactory frequency of sexual intercourse, lack of diversity, lack of sexual desire, impotence, premature ejaculation, frigidity, inability to reach orgasm - all lead to sexual dissatisfaction and the appearance of tensions between the two.

Especially since some of these disorders require medical or psychiatric intervention - impotence, premature ejaculation, frigidity - and this intervention is refused, the couple's problems may increase in intensity and may extend to other aspects of the relationship.

If the two are sexually incompatible - like libido or preferences - or suffer from the fear of not living up to each other's expectations (fear that they are not good enough, fear that may even cause poor performance), or suffer from "supersaturation of stimuli "(when he feels the need for other images and other stimuli of arousal besides the partner) and boredom, dissatisfaction will have intense effects.

But dissatisfaction in marriage can be caused by other factors, depending - as has been said - on the type and level of expectations of the two partners. If one of them expected that in marriage he would always be taken care of by his partner - emotional, practical, or financial and caressed as in the parental home), you will be disappointed once you see that the reality of marriage involves equal involvement and responsibilities between partners.

Or if one of the partners expected the wedding to be like a fairy tale, the love always strong and the passion always burning - ideal with which young people start in life - will, of course, be disappointed to see how much work and compromise involves maintaining a marriage.

Whatever the source - or sources - of marital dissatisfaction, the two need to communicate, accept the problem, and find solutions together - and if the situation requires it, dare to go to a specialist.