Not Wise Enough to Protect $20k From His Little Black Book

It was the year 2014. “Animals” by Maroon 5 was playing, while we fought through crowds to locate each other at a local pub north of Toronto during the long weekend. It was your birthday; it was also my sister’s who I celebrated with just hours before. To think you even share a birthday with my sister is an idea I cannot fathom, considering your poor judgment and overall character.

We met each other here after speaking online for a while, even though I was technically introduced to you 8 years prior through a former mutual acquaintance at the time. I didn’t know you back then; not as much as I do now. But to think I never really knew you at all, except the narcissistic side of your personality where you compulsively lie and - even worse - manipulate everyone around you with your fraudulent inked charm and blue-eyed allure. But, you didn’t fully get away with it.

See, “Animals” by Maroon 5 is an anthem you can resonate with; an ideal song which serves as the epitome of your counterfeit essence. Women fall as your prey, and you take advantage with your domineering initiation and “affection”. They crave to be exploited by you - with your constant sexting and booty call invites that most would find a deal-breaker if it wasn’t for your conventional attractiveness.

Hello everyone, my name is Stephanie. We will call this excuse for a man Chad. Yes, such a stereotypical name for the quintessential man who yearns to resemble the lead singer of our theme song listed here - although the comparison only makes sense if you add some blonde hair to the sleeved tattoos and muscular stature.

That evening back in 2014, you told me to come up to you and give you a birthday kiss. I resisted; I was shy, and I had to leave. I brought my friend home; I returned in my vehicle to host a drive-by at your request. I didn’t leave the interior of my car; I refused your advances for a kiss again, as it was too late in the evening and too soon to take that next step. You perceived that as a sign of rejection, and I assured you it wasn’t. I really had to be home. If only I saw your plea as a guilt trip, I wouldn’t have been in this mess.

For the next couple of months we spoke, we hung out a few times. It was clear what you wanted, but you gaslighted me into thinking you were really “attracted” to me as you stated by text message. I was so wooed by your good looks and gentle front that I wanted to believe that you need to get to know me and take things slow. That’s how you used all of us, isn’t it? I decided to delete you on Facebook, once you stopped responding. Fast-forward to a month later. My birthday commenced. I missed you, so I added you back and apologized for curtailing contact. It was then I discovered that you just added a female friend to your social media, that you visited her at the cottage with her friends and documented that experience with photographic evidence. I was curious. Since you just added her a day or two ago, was she a former acquaintance or a long lost friend? A former lover, an ex? I had to investigate.

So I creeped and creeped. There was no verifiable proof - no changed relationship status or any other indication - that you were with her. She would post your number on social media and ask girls to call you since you were allegedly single: perhaps a ploy to eliminate any competition that she would see are your other conquests, so she doesn't waste her time. After a month or so went by, I met up with you one more time. It wasn’t until the beginning of the summer that I was approached by this same girl that I now have come to known as “Jessica”. Jessica messaged me online and noticed we shared you Chad as a mutual friend. We were communicating back and forth. It only took a week to discover that while you only made it official with her a few days before that, you were still texting me the “you up” hangout requests. And we all know what those mean... Jessica and I met up. I showed her the screenshots; I allowed her to access my authentic interactions with you, so she would realize your infidelity wasn’t fabricated. I felt it was a duty for I to alert her; also I was obviously quite upset and felt recycled. In the 6 months you were with her, our friendship would run on and off. We would research your accounts you would choose to deem public, view any incriminating posts or pictures you were tagged in. We shared mutual friends; people who have dated you or your friends, stories from various acquaintances who warned us about you. It only took 6 months to discover that you were not only someone who lied about travelling to Ottawa for a friend’s brother’s funeral (which never even happened), but you were a thief who stole valuables from many...and the obvious: a five-girlfriend-at-a-time cheater. This takes us to 2015. Jessica penned an anonymous article, a raw and open narrative about her emotionally and financially abusive relationship with you. She alluded to your identity in indirect mentions; so much that women reached out to her with similar experiences that were all apparently perpetuated by you? What a coincidence. I helped her write that piece, by the way.

In the summer, another girl you indulged into a secret relationship with - as well as Jessica and I - went for drinks at an elegant eatery nearby. To be honest, we were all venting and plotting against you. If we invited you, that would’ve been newsworthy. It was very The Other Women meets John Tucker Must Die. Years go by, and I thought I would forget about you. After all, you were never my boyfriend; we weren’t even seeing each other. But I was infatuated with you, I did have feelings for you, and - believe it or not - you did impact my life. You validated my insecurities about cheating; you altered my perspective on relationships and men in general. But you also taught me lessons; to be vigilant and aware about the little things, the red flags that could possibly be misconstrued in any romantic bond. Although I also learned that while there’s no excuse for your behaviour, there could be any reason for such a common occurrence: a past where you were conditioned to believe these types of incidents are normal, trust and commitment issues, etc.

Which brings us to the year 2020. You’re scrolling and see I’ve become successful with my own business; you contacted me. You seemed to be more mature, that you grew. I didn’t intend to harbour any further animosity against you that I’ve been internalizing for the last 5 or 6 years. I decided to forgive you. That was my biggest mistake. Over that next month, it quickly came to fruition that you hadn’t changed; you just became a “better” version of yourself. You became even more effective at hiding your tracks. You weren’t tagged in any pictures or posted her at all; if I were her, I would’ve already been suspicious of that. You now use Instagram more often than Facebook; Instagram being where you sought out to send me that congratulatory message. At first, you asked me how my business was doing and what was still open or permitted during this most historically recent pandemic. The conversation seemed pretty innocent, until you were back to your old tricks...except while being more obnoxious. Invitations for naughty video chats, disappearing images, etc.

It wasn’t until Christmas that I was scrolling on my newsfeed and saw your mother as a friends suggestion; I decided to click on her profile, and I was thankful I did. That was when I saw her post a picture of your recent engagement to your fiancée on Christmas Eve, a reality I wouldn’t have known if it weren’t for my inquisitiveness from being an avid social media searcher.

I looked through the photo’s likes to successfully confirm who your fiancée is; I typed in her name on Instagram and Facebook. There, I found pictures of you two together on her profiles; including the one of the luminous and elegant engagement ring.

And for the last time, I blocked you. I was so tempted to message her; I wanted to tell her - from woman to woman - to run and that she would be making the biggest mistake of her life marrying you. I wanted to think I was saving her from a lifetime of pain, but I chose to resist. Even though she was marrying you and not just dating you, the means I once again figured out your lack of loyalty seem invasive and difficult to explain without sounding like I have a vendetta against you. I also don’t know her or have any connection to her, plus I would feel horrible if I sent her the news electronically and broke her heart or sabotaged her Christmas. Hurting an innocent soul would take the better of me, but I had to warn the others. I had to locate your little black book. I know you have one. And you’re probably still cheating on her, unless someone else who you're already pursuing knows your mother’s Facebook. So I went to your house and retrieved your little black book of: unknowing physical interests, willing mistresses, scorned exes, and other significant others.

Oh, and that $20k? I also gathered that $20k you owe from my friend Jessica who you “borrowed” it from cumulatively while you were dating her. I reimbursed her that money; also the least you can do to compensate for the emotional trauma and other unspecified damages you incurred. As for your “little black book” of women? Some of these women I know personally, others I don’t. But, I assure you your secret won’t be safe anymore.