Not a Regular Day

Not just a regular day

I woke up on this day and got my son ready like any other day. I had the beginnings of a migraine so it really wasn’t a normal day. I got myself ready in full pt gear. I dropped my son off at daycare and drove to the morning pt spot. I wasn’t staying to do the morning exercises as my migraine was intensifying by the minute.

I parked my car and texted my squad leader to make him aware of the situation. He texted back immediately agreeing. I went out to formation waiting for accountability. We stood there socializing until our acting Platoon Sergeant which happened to be my section NCOIC called us to attention and put us at ease. We went through the motions of the morning report, and reporting to the 1st Sergeant.

1st Sergeant then called the company to attention and called for anyone not participating in pt to fallout. I fell out and so did my platoon Sergeant, as well as several

other Soldiers in the company. We lined up behind the 1st Sergeant as the formalities of the morning formation continued. As 1SGT began going down the line of Soldiers that had dropped out of formation for their reasons as to why the line for smaller and smaller. My section NCOIC was right beside me, he said 1SGT, I have an appointment.

Then it was my turn, “1SGT, I am going to sick call.” I fell out and headed to my car.

“SPC Terry, come here please!” My NCOIC called me to his car. He motioned for me to get in. I didn’t find this strange because he was my NCOIC. I figured he was going to give me instruction on what he needed done before he came into the office, as my squad leader wasn’t in formation that morning not to mention it was cold outside.

I got into his car, and the conversation started off as I expected, but then he reached over and stuck his hand down my pants. My heart stopped and I didn’t know what to do. He started playing with a place he shouldn’t be touching. Tears rolled down my cheeks, and my voice came out as a chocked whisper, “no”

“No” was all I could say. He wasn’t listening to me and my limbs were frozen. I couldn’t move. He grabbed my hand which was balled up in a fist with his free hand and put my hand down his pants. I’m not letting you go until we finish he growled. No I whispered. He repeated himself again. I grabbed his appendage and just held it as he continued to tell me that we weren’t leaving this spot until we finished. My limbs would not allow me to move my face was covered in tears and there was no where for me to go. I slowly began doing what he was begging / threatening me with. I wanted to vomit, these are not hands that I wanted touching me. This is not something I asked for. I forced myself to do to him what he was doing to me as I choked back tears and the urge to vomit.

This continued until he got what he wanted. He unlocked the doors to his car and I opened the door and walked as quickly as my legs could carry me to the driver’s side of my car. I felt ashamed and dirty. I got into my car and drove straight home. I don’t know how I got home without getting into an accident, I was crying so hard I could barely see let alone breathe. I needed to be somewhere safe and the only place I could think of was my bed at my house. I pulled into my driveway and rushed inside my house. Taking the stairs two at a time, I striped of my disgusting clothes and left them in a pile on my bed. I turned off my phone.

I lay in my bed for what seemed like forever completely still. I was in shock, I was disgusted, ashamed, so many feelings I couldn’t comprehend them, I just knew it was bad and I was disgusting.

Eventually after what felt like forever, I got up and took a shower, I felt like I needed an SOS pad to clean myself. I had to go to work and see him again and I really wasn’t ready. I put on my uniform, did my hair and makeup trying to hide what had just taken place.

I went to work like it was a normal day and waited for the NCO that was supposed to relieve me. As I sat at the front desk of our Brigade building. He showed up. I just starred at him. He stood in front of my chair and placed his hand on my leg, I cringed but fought the urge to pull away. He looked me in the face and said that he was sorry. I continued to stare at him blankly showing zero emotion. I didn’t even acknowledge that he had spoke. Again, I held back tears that begged to fall freely. He removed his hand and walked into his office and shut the door. The NCO that was supposed to be on duty came and took my place. I rushed to the bathroom to cry in peace. I had no idea how I was going to get away from this. I refused to tell anyone because after all, who would believe me...