Nostalgia Trick-or-Treat

Halloween has been a holiday that I’ve loved since I was a kid. The holiday itself meant that I could dress up in anything that I loved. Any mythical creature or T.V show character that I adored. Like a sprite, a fairy creature not the soda, or Gabrielle from Xena. The day that I went as Jason Vorhees from Friday the Thirteenth did something change.

I couldn’t go to the middle school dance as him. Since they wouldn’t allow weapons or blood or anything like that. I went as a sleepwalker instead. It was nice going in my pajamas. And I appreciated my bathrobe on such a cold night when I was walking home. Another thing that I miss from my childhood was the fact September and October used to be chilly. But that’s something else.

I went trick-or-treating with my younger brothers. Along with my, at the time, best friend who I have spoken to in years. I can’t remember what they went as for Halloween. It might have been Dragonball Z characters. Like Trunks and Vegeta. Or maybe just generic ninja characters with my mom’s ex-husband. Either way it was fun getting to wear fake blood splattered clothes. And the hocky mask that I put red tape on to look more like the real deal did. It was so much fun, and I strangely felt more like myself than I thought I would. People also confused me for a boy. Which I remember upset me a little as I felt like I failed at being a girl. But I was having too much fun to really care about as we got more candy further down the blocks.

It wasn’t my last year trick-or-treating. But it was almost the last year of my trick-or-treating. I think I stopped when I was seventeen or so. There weren’t a lot of kids my age out that year. But there were plenty of kids on our blocks. A few were scared of my costume, but others thought I looked cool. That year I got a fist bump from a kid that was absolutely terrified of me. That year I thought of how much I was growing up. How much of a loser that I felt for a brief time being the oldest trick-or-treater. Even though none of the adults made any comments about me being too old. They were just as nice to me as they were the other trick-or-treaters that came up.

This was still so strange to me. But I see as an adult that they were doing it to be nice. That they probably didn’t care as much as my teenage mind thought. Or more than likely they thought I was younger than I was. Since I was short for my age and I sounded very young, too. I also still look young. Though I doubt if I went trick-or-treating this year, I would confuse anyone at all. Well, not in that sense. I probably would weird them out that an adult was trick-or-treating.

But whatever.

I got a lot of treats that year. Including ice pops from a guy that wasn’t prepared for kids to show up. Though he allowed us to have ice pops. And then we went to a house that was in a fancy neighborhood at least twenty minutes later. We got a lot of candy. I remember how beautiful the lawns looked. Wishing that our house wasn’t just a few blocks from a bar. As an asshole drunk stole our decorations after he tripped into them. We never decorated our house again after that. Nor did we put out any pumpkins that year either. Anyways, me and my former best friend got soda from a place.

I think they were having a party and didn’t expect trick-or-treaters. But it was still nice to get either way. Our bags were so full when it ended. And the next day we didn’t have to go to school, either. So, we played in our costumes and ate candy for a good few weeks afterwards.

I still think of that as one of my best years of Halloween. Spending time with family. Going out with friends. And getting so many treats that I almost dropped my bag. It was also the year before mom divorced her ex-husband. The entire trip I had this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach that it would happen. But I didn’t let myself dwell on it the entire night we trick-or-treated. Since I didn’t want to upset my younger brothers. But I was grateful for the good time we all had. Despite what was going to happen next. I was grateful for what we had, and I wished that feeling stayed after.

We had at least one good night together.