No Nookie Trend?

In a recent article published by The New York Post, a government study found rates of sexlessness are climbing coast to coast among young adults ages 22-34.

I recently wrote an article regarding the 'situationship' epidemic in today's dating world and in my opinion, these two factors are directly correlated. Why? Well it's been proven that situationships do not feel good for most women and a lot of men, leading to the desire to be intimate to lower. Also the rise of pornographic websites and video have deterred the natural connection between men and women.

In the New York Times article they state "A whopping 24% of males 22-34 had not had sex in 2022-2023, up from 9% in 2013-15. For females, the number was 13%, up from 8%". To be fair, this also falls within the Covid Era, which we can all agree shifted our society for the worst in so many ways but especially in the human connection way. This article states that the biggest factor in people not having sex, is the decline in marriage. Married people have more sex, they live together, they are committed and don't easily divorce, leaving the opportunity always on the table and convenient. This makes a lot of sense and going back to my point of situationships, they deter you from commitment which is the only way for people to be secure, settled and have regular sex.

Fun fact the article states "married men age slower than single men and women age the same regardless of marriage". This makes sense to me as women really are independent in nature and men are the ones that need constant attachment and companionship.

The rise of technology and social media is probably the catalyst for the above mentioned issues. It has lead a path to the way people interact and stop interacting. The way young people communicate and form relationships has drastically shifted, with many opting for digital connection over in person interactions. Social media platforms often present curated, idealized versions of life, and young adults may feel less inclined to pursue real-life connections that could lead to physical intimacy.

The pervasive presence of dating apps, while designed to help people find partners, has created a paradox. On one hand, these apps provide an easy way to meet potential partners, but on the other, they often foster superficial connections that prioritize convenience over meaningful relationships, which can lead to less in person intimacy.

Another modern day struggle for relationships is the rising student loan debt, expensive housing markets, and uncertain job prospects, many young adults are prioritizing their careers and personal financial stability over relationships or starting families. Dating and sex may fall lower on their list of priorities. In some cases, young adults are simply too stressed or exhausted to focus on building intimate connections.

Mental health is another factor born out of modern technology and social media. Mental struggles have become an increasingly recognized issue, with more young adults reporting feelings of loneliness, anxiety, and depression. Social anxiety, in particular, can make forming close personal relationships difficult, leading to fewer opportunities for intimacy. For some, the pressure to perform sexually or maintain certain standards of physical appearance can be overwhelming, making them avoid situations where sex might be expected.

The normalization of mental health challenges in young adulthood, while ultimately a positive development, means that many young people are seeking therapy and self-care, which can sometimes take precedence over dating or casual encounters. Sometimes therapy should be temporary and not a way of life. There is a term named 'ruminating' and this is people just going in circles and obsessing over their 'problems' which is not a healthy way to live.

We can take some traditional ways and mix them with modern day advances to keep ourselves grounded. What do I mean by that? I've observed over time that as we age, we start to OVERTHINK everything. We are very cautious to just live life and think of all the possible ways it can go wrong. I suggest, we go back to when we were young and go on the dates, have your boundaries but stop thinking ahead so much. Live in the moment and see what, if anything develops. A lot of our fears are keeping us from ever being able to see where relationships, friends, dating, jobs can take us to.

If the scenario doesn't work out that's ok!! That's what life is Trial and Error. Experiences are what makes life go round. Getting out of our heads, while still keeping your important boundaries and senses up will afford you to get further down a path of connecting to people and seeing where it can go. Let's do less ruminating and more in the moment daily living. Speak up, become boyfriend and girlfriend, call yourself 'dating' take steps if it feels right and stop being scared of the results. Nothing is permanent, rejections are blessings and confidence is key.

Happy Living, Dating and Getting ahead emotionally

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