How Situationships have become the New Dating

In recent years, the term 'situationship' has made its way into the dating sphere, capturing a new and often confusing phase of modern relationships. Unlike traditional dating or a clear cut commitment, situationships exist in a gray area, where two people share a connection, sometimes romantic, sometimes not but without the clear labels or expectations that come with a committed relationship. This shift is reflective of broader changes in how people view love, romance, and connection in today’s fast paced world. In my opinion and many love and life coaches as well as therapists, this is a very unhealthy way to have romantic dealings.

A situationship can be described as a relationship without the commitment or clarity of a full blown partnership. It might involve emotional intimacy, shared experiences, or even regular physical affection, but it lacks the defined labels that come with dating or being in a committed relationship. It's not just a casual fling, but it's also not something that has clearly defined expectations like an official relationship.

The rise of situationships can be attributed to several social and cultural factors. First, technology plays a major role. Dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge have made it easier to meet new people, but with the endless possibilities of connection, it can sometimes feel more like a revolving door than a committed relationship. These platforms often foster instant gratification, where people aren’t always looking for long term commitments, but rather something more spontaneous and casual.

Additionally, many people in today’s world are prioritizing personal growth, career development, and independence. With the pressures of work, school, and life in general, the idea of a traditional relationship with all its expectations can seem overwhelming or unrealistic. Situationships allow individuals to form connections without the pressures of defining the relationship or meeting societal milestones of 'dating'.

Some would say, there’s no doubt that situationships can feel liberating but this is only MOSTLY truthful for men, not so much for women. They offer emotional closeness and intimacy without the need to have the “what are we?” conversation. For some, they provide the freedom to explore different connections without being confined to one label or commitment. They can be a great option for those who may not yet be ready for a full relationship but still want companionship, affection, or intimacy.

Moreover, situationships can often come with fewer expectations and pressures. Without the need for constant communication or commitment to future plans, these relationships can feel more fluid and adaptable, which is appealing in a world where flexibility is increasingly valued.

The fact that younger women for the most part are allowing situationships because they feel it's the modern way to date, they are very much facing major challenges. One of the main downsides is the potential for miscommunication or emotional confusion. Since both parties are not necessarily on the same page, it’s easy for one person to develop stronger feelings or expectations than the other, leading to misunderstandings or even heartbreak. While situationships can create emotional uncertainty. Without clarity, both individuals may struggle with knowing where they stand, leaving one person feeling frustrated or unfulfilled in the long run leading to passive aggressive behavior, micro fights, tension and the emotional roller coaster you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy.

*If you can get undressed and close with a person, you SHOULD definitely be able to have clear boundaries and expectations with that person. If you are not comfortable doing that, some inner dialogue and even therapy to work through that is probably a good idea.

It’s hard to say whether situationships are here to stay or just a passing trend. One things is clear, it's taking a toll on dater's emotional well being and self esteem.

The solution to reverse this trend, is possibly to have women shift their attitudes toward relationships in the digital age. You can learn to actually date several people and keep your options open until you truly connect with someone but you need to set boundaries. No intimacy until you get to know them properly, spend enough time to be able to have clear expectations and enter into an exclusive dating relationship. Take your time getting to know someone and know being intimate USUALLY, not always, but usually ruins the progress of a connection if done too soon and before spending enough time together. Be honest with yourself and do not go down paths you think you'll be able to handle depending on how much you like the person and what your actual expectations you'll have once you take the physical route.

Prioritize highlighting the ongoing need for honest communication and self-awareness in any type of relationship. Whether you’re in a situationship, trying to not be in a situationship, casual fling, or a committed partnership, mutual respect and clear boundaries are key to ensuring that both people’s needs and expectations are met. Be ok if by this communication, the person doesn't want to go further knowing there is better out there for you.

As with any relationship, the ultimate goal is to find what works best for you and situationships are not best for most people it seems. Dating someone is not a death sentence, it's a way to have self respect, clear connections and you can literally end it at any point in time for absolutely any reason.

Stop being afraid of putting labels on your connections, they should have them and you also have the right to exit said label at any point you choose but at least you'll feel like a respectable person throughout the connection.

Valentines is coming so take back your power, do things that make you feel good and won't regret later. I just spoke to a life and dating coach on this week's podcast. Feel free to take a listen if interested HERE.

Happy Valentines and Happy Self Love for 2025

Salty Sunshine Podcast

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