No Behaviour Is Manipulative, Until It Finds Its Match

"I am a puzzle of two pieces"

 - said the manipulative relationship - 

"that co-synthesize the image born;

each one has its share in the creation.

I cannot exist, if they don't unite.

Each of them is a potential me;

I am just a possibility;

they only enclose the ability.

A tendency lies within them

and they attract each other,

but they forget they both contribute;

responsibility's mode is put on mute.

I wonder how they can believe

that half an image is the whole of it.

A behaviour is just a behaviour manifesting;

it takes an adjective through its matching".

---

«He/She is manipulative» I often hear.

He/She is not manipulative at the time they manifest the behavior.

At that moment, this is just a behavior.

Potentially manipulative, perhaps.

But not manipulative.

It becomes manipulative the moment others match their own behaviour with that one and accept to be manipulated by that person (who is also their self, in a way) because of an internal need, a fear, a lack.

Situations involving more than one person are co-created.

There is manipulation because we allow ourselves to be manipulated.

If my behavior is a piece of a puzzle on the table (behaviour that just manifests itself), it's just that; a piece of a puzzle.

If someone comes along and has a behavior as a puzzle-piece that fits exactly into mine, then we co-create whatever picture comes out of the two pieces.

There is co-responsibility; and everyone needs to take their own share of it; not to feel guilty, but to stand on their own feet and not point the finger at someone else as responsible for their action; to be conscious and self-aware.

Some people say that putting the blame on an other person is the easy solution. I'm not going there. I don't know if it's the easy solution. I know for sure that both ways have a "profit" and a "cost", like everything. So, we always weigh the situation -consciously or unconsciously- to see which of the two profits is worth its cost according to our criteria.

Never taking responsibility of our actions might be something we haven't learned. Overprotection during childhood is one of the reasons in many cases like that.

And there it is... the unfreedom of a just-epidermic-adulthood, the need to have someone to rely on when the consequences come, the insecurity and self-doubt.

(By the way, how honest are these kind of relationships? ...let's wonder)

Whichever the situation I participate in, has a percentage of my energy, it is formed by my action too. Denying responsibility is like denying myself! Of course there are reasons for that; each of us has their own reasons, their own inner dark spots and unexplored corners of the subconscious, etc.

In a case of manipulation then, we maintain a situation because of our own internal reasons and we will change our attitude when we are ready. That's OK. That's how these things need to be done; when it's time.

But let's see things as they are.

Let's find the courage to see ourselves as we are.

Because only then will we be inspired at some point and move the "cog wheels" that will make the dark corners within us gradually fill with light.

And so, from stage to stage, from layer to layer, from "self-widening" to "self-widening", we will walk more firmly on this spherical field of evolution, while at the same time, we will flow more lightly and effortlessly.

...

Anthi Psomiadou - CC BY-NC-ND 4.0 International : Credit must be given to the creator/ Only noncommercial uses of the work are permitted/ No derivatives