Nigh

Nigh

I went for a drive to quell the voices in my head. Pounding and pedantic my mind couldn’t imagine life outside of this grueling moment. So many unanswered questions and yet here I was, cracked and mangled in the drivers seat of a 95’ Suzuki riding the night waves of thought patterns stuck in the abyss of broken. No one to turn to, no music to slow down the minds racing, so I turn the radio volume down to a gentle humming of the engine in hopes it would help quiet the internal beating. I couldn’t tell you how long I drove, perhaps longer than even I anticipated, and I suddenly found myself in a strange and foreign place. Where land meets the sea my attention and vision no longer capable of refreshing in the blotting darkness, I turned down a decaying pathway winding its way into a densely packed parkway. I pulled to the nearest curb line killing the dull glare of headlights and undulation engine. “Why am I here”, I thought aloud. “What am I doing?” Thoughts haunted their lonely chorus, and I knew not where the night would lead. A low murmur of electrical motor is all that sounded as the automated windows guided an opening to the outside, and the night’s darkness eased my guilty thoughts; the first moment of peace I had felt all evening. I sat for a long while in the silence, allowing my mind to spring from thought to thought, from slow justification back to feelings. Just then a flash of white caught my eye in the distance, looming about over the trees. It took a long while for my eyes to adjust in the blackness, but once it did what my sight beheld was of pure magic. With wings outstretched and dancing in the sky my eyes locked on the majesty of a white barn owl, pure as snow. It floated overhead, and I gazed upon it in wonderment as it did so. Suddenly as though I were calling to it, the owl banked left and perched itself upon a nearby branch, close enough to touch from where I sat frozen still in the chilled night air. My breath a cacophony of amazement was all that stood between myself and this lonely observer. It looked deep into my eyes, and a wave of fanciful fascination drew in my breath where it held for what felt an eternity. I opened my soul through our gaze and glazed over time in one of the deepest connections I had ever felt with another. Suddenly, and without hesitation the owl dropped down from its peaceful perch, and with a powerful flap of its wingspan took flight once more. Making its way overhead I felt an urge to follow it, as if my owl had called upon me in that moment to go away with it. Closing in on space and time we watched each other, both observing in fascination and wonder the beauty of our shared experience. It flew overhead and vanished slowly from sight back from whence it came. Never question your connection to nature, for it enters without warning and speaks a language you don’t know until you find yourself entranced by its wisdom. In those owls eyes I saw my life; past, present, and future abound. In the darkness there I became the owl, hunting and understanding my place with a quiet strength only this world can teach. My heart palpated in reverence to the transcendent moment I shared with an unchained and wild being. I closed my eyes, and knew then what I had to do.