Never lose

“Sometime’s the light at the end of a dark tunnel isn't a light, but instead a random act of generosity.”

As a twelve-year-old life never seemed fair, the way others had so much but they took everything for granted and how I and my family would struggle to know if we would have enough food to last us for the next few days.

I spent so much time thinking about how unlucky I was but even at our worst my dad would always come to me and tell me that no matter how bad we think we have it, others have it much worse. I wouldn't believe him, still thinking that we had it the worst.

I was wrong.

The day my dad got deported and our whole family was forced to move to Mexico was the day that I learned just how fortunate I was, or at least had been.

The first weeks there we lived in a church where the pastors were gracious enough to provide us with a roof over our heads, food, and running water. I never realized how much all of that could mean. The biggest surprise to me was that they never asked for anything in return, as I had been so accustomed to others asking for money or favors in return for their help.

The Pastor’s wife gave me a clue as to why they didn't want anything in exchange, what she said was “Helping others may feel like a burden or like your losing time and sometimes money but if you never give, you always lose.” I asked her why and she said “Because if you give it then you can't lose it!” I laughed even though I knew that she was right.

The days went by and my dad was able to secure a plot of land so that we could build our own home, it was the best feeling to be able to have our own home again even if I had to share rooms with my siblings. The neighbors welcomed us and I quickly made friends but these weren't like the friends I was used to, they didn't look down on me and question why my clothes were so old and why I had to share everything with my siblings. No these kids believed I was coolest and most fortunate kid on the block.

The first time I was ever invited into one of their homes, I was shocked that people could live the way they did and be okay with it. The kids slept on some of the oldest dirtiest mattresses and their home was filled with pests. I felt so much guilt and want to help but me being twelve and having no way to help couldn't do anything but make a promise.

If there were ever a chance I could help change other people's lives, even if it was by simply giving them clothes, shoes, and food then I would. That same night I went home and looked through my one suitcase, it was all that I had left but I went through it and started sorting things out. The whole time I went through my suitcase I could only think of one thing, how was I ever so ungrateful?

I went over to that same friend's house the next day and gave her a few pairs of clothes and shoes, some toys, and few other things that I knew I could live without. It was the best feeling seeing my friend so happy and thankful. It was old stuff to me, things that didn't even hold sentimental value but it was all I had left. I knew at that point that even if I never had much to give, that I should give anyway because sometimes even the smallest of things could mean the most, and besides if I always gave what could I have to lose?

As the years went by and I moved back to the states and joined the Marines, I still make it a point to collect items and save extra cash so that by the time I go visit my family and friends, I bring a little bit of light to someone’s day, even if it's only for a few moments.