MY PITY FOR BEAUTY

Until now, I had never pondered what goes through the minds of incredibly attractive women – those blessed with captivating faces and alluring bodies, capable of turning heads with each step they take. It had never been a mystery to me.

My first encounter with such a woman was quite fascinating. I had been with beautiful girls before, but never one considered universally stunning. In other words, her beauty was undeniable.

It was in the early days of post-COVID-19 when wearing nose masks was still necessary. She had hers on, sitting alone. Unlike everyone in my family who wore glasses, I had been blessed with exceptional eyesight. Perhaps that's why I could appreciate her beauty from a distance. However, I didn't dare approach her. With a face like hers, my only chance of getting attention was to initiate a confident conversation, which I couldn't muster at the time. So, I had my female friend accompany me. We approached her, and to my surprise, she found the situation amusing. I caught a glimpse of her bright smile beneath the mask.

Then, she took it off. Describing my reaction to seeing her bare face with exaggeration would be unnecessary. Let's just say she was breathtakingly beautiful. Instantly, I fell in love with her and made up my mind to pursue her. What made it even better was her sweet nature. She possessed excellent conversational skills, a great sense of humor, eclectic music taste, and was an avid reader. They don't make them like her anymore.

Initially, I assumed she would be shallow during the first few weeks of our conversations. In truth, I was the one being shallow. Beautiful people are often believed to have high standards because we expect them to be aware of their beauty and only associate with individuals who are equally or more attractive, or at least financially well-off. However, many of them may not see themselves the way we see them. They may even have insecurities that go unnoticed by others.

I vividly remember a particular day when we were talking, and I couldn't help but focus directly on her face, convinced that maintaining eye contact would instantly make her fall in love with me, thanks to a YouTube video I had watched. I noticed she kept touching her chin as if trying to hide something. I wondered why she would want to conceal anything about her appearance. She confessed that she felt her face was too fat, especially around the chin area. Instead of showing genuine concern, I reacted with anger. Initially, I laughed it off and called her stupid for saying that. Although such remarks might sound sweet, they didn't sit well with her. Looking back, I realize how insensitive I was.

I managed to convince her that she was perfect and that I never once considered her plus-sized. She never brought up the topic again, and I believe she decided not to confide her insecurities in me any longer. I failed to acknowledge her feelings of vulnerability. She probably knew that insecurities are often based on false realities, but she simply wanted to feel heard and normal, not the 'perfect girl'.

Beautiful girls are often subjected to deception. They receive countless compliments and displays of affection, as many men try to convince them they are flawless, solely motivated by a desire for their hearts or bodies. It takes a truly self-aware beautiful girl to possess inner beauty.

I always wondered why she entertained me. I never considered myself particularly attractive. I lacked confidence in my looks but knew I had a sense of humor, thanks to YouTube, which claimed laughter was the way to a woman's heart. Yet, deep down, I believed she only saw me as a friend and that I could never be a romantic interest. Therefore, I projected my insecurities onto our interactions and never took things seriously with her. I kept talking to other girls, trying to distract myself from the fact that I had fallen hard. So, in any case, when I learned that she truly did not see me as a love interest, I had an excuse.

She always took me seriously and valued me. She trusted me with things she could not reveal to people whom she had known for many years. I became more confident as a person. I began to raise my standards higher and higher. And the very thing I presumed she would be doing, I did the second I got the opportunity.

Beautiful girls do not get the opportunity to figure out who they are on time. They are viewed as love interests from the outset. There is usually a long line of people waiting for their turn to have a chance to love and be loved by them. This is perhaps the worst thing that can happen to a person. I cannot imagine living each day, seeing several faces trying to make me fall in love. Whenever I would spend time with her, I was so scared that when I left, someone else would take my place and spend more time with her, and she would fall in love with that person instead. I usually spent hours with her, engaging her in random conversations so she wouldn't get tired of me, but I think the opposite happened. More often than not, after I left, someone else would take my place and spend time with her, and then someone else, and then someone else, until she would realize that she has been relating for so long. I feel terrible for her. She had no time for herself, and she could not be alone even if she tried. Now, imagine that happening for years or throughout her entire life. I feel selfish for taking up all that time that she could have used to be productive or just have peace of mind.

Beautiful girls rarely have genuine friends. Yes, they have a lot of people in their lives. They are famous and have met and given their contact information to many people. However, this does not guarantee genuine friendships. The main reason for this is that most people start as friends but with the intention of something more. It may be a romantic or purely physical relationship. The point is that there is usually an ulterior motive. I thought I could be a genuine friend after I found out that I could not have a romantic relationship, but I was wrong. My mind led me back to my initial motive and made me realize that my reasons for everything that transpired between us were not about genuine friendship.

She always told me that she had trust issues because people she got close to would always leave. I thought they were foolish. "How could one possibly leave all this?" I thought to myself. I got to understand their reasons after I did exactly what they had done. I stopped caring after she didn't reciprocate my romantic gestures. She still cared about me very much. She called, she texted, and she made plans to see me. But all these things felt like chores because they had no end goal. "Why should I give her my time when she's not interested in dating me?" I started thinking to myself. I became exactly what I hated, and another reason for her trust issues.

Beautiful girls are treated like trophies - won and kept in a drawer as evidence of skill or attractiveness, only to eventually be forgotten. I always wonder what comes after the chase. What do you do after you've invested so much time and effort into a woman and she agrees to date you? The obvious answer is to treat her right and show evidence of all the sweet things you said before the relationship became official. But that is far from what happens to pretty girls. It somewhat feels like a challenge, and once the challenge is complete, another one has to succeed it. After I got her to like me, I felt like the man of the hour, like the world was at my feet and I was in control. But after that feeling faded, I was left confused. I didn't know what else to do. And so, I gradually distanced myself, much like the guys before me.

I think they are more or less ceremonial girlfriends, very similar to supermodel girlfriends. The ones you hold hands within public, take pictures and videos with, and show off to your friends. But when it comes to the actual relationship, they receive the least amount of love or no love at all. People expect them to be superficial, only interested in material possessions and lacking genuine love. These kinds of people, however, are easy to please. The problem is assuming that all beautiful girls are the same.

The women in her life were either secretly jealous of her or followed her around to meet the many guys that approached her. Although it was disappointing to stand alone while watching boys make advances at their very beautiful friend, the other boys who came with me would sometimes engage with them. This, however, was temporary, as any guy acquainting himself with the friend of the beautiful girl only did so to get close to her. And when that didn't work out, there was almost no chance they would continue relating with them.

Girls would leave her just as boys did when their insecurities won. It is difficult to wake up every day and feel like a shadow to someone else. I honestly don't blame them for wanting a life of their own or, in reality, a life in which they feel beautiful and special.

One thing I am grateful for is that I had the decency to respect her even after things didn't go my way. Not many people had this decency. One of her rejects started a rumor that they had made out multiple times and he left her because she was rude and "intensely social." To this day, I believe that phrase is a substitute for slut. She heard about this and was very concerned, even though we all knew he was lying. For starters, the boy had a very wide gap tooth and he smelled a lot. She always entertained him because she was genuinely a nice person. But when he confessed his feelings, she turned him down without hesitation. He took matters into his own hands. I felt terrible for her.

Boys would hate her for not giving them a chance, and girls would hate her for not giving them a chance. What a twisted world it is for a beautiful girl like her.

I purposely saved the best issue for last. I forgot to mention that this girl was incredibly smart. She was so intelligent that people started saying she had a "fine girl advantage." The truth was that she spent more time studying than socializing. When I asked about her strategy, she told me that she decided to always prioritize books over anything else. This meant that if I spent 2 hours with her, she probably spent 3 or 4 hours studying. I was stunned. Beauty and brains. She was unstoppable. We assumed that she probably didn't care about school, that she might have been too occupied with men, or that she had a plan to use her beauty to become a social media influencer. We were wrong. She wanted to be a judge.

I believe at this point I should stop referring to them as "beautiful girls." They are just as human as we are and do not deserve to be judged or stereotyped for something that is out of their control. Their fears are our fears, and their interests are our interests too. I promised her I was going to write about her struggles. However, complaining is a privilege. I feel sorry for those who don't have a voice. I hope this gives you the nudge to speak up against the injustices faced by beautiful girls.